Happy birthday to me..

-- Drafted on 3rd jul 2013--

@ 32, I guess there's a lot of things to be grateful for.. My 3 princesses.. Yes , despite the nightmares and the till-date-yet-to-zz-through for the twins, yes .. They are my blessings to which I'm grateful for. In fact, caring for them have been easier now that the twins r bigger.. OR maybe becoz we hv grown so used to it that it didn't seem that difficult anymore. I recently have two gfs who gave birth to their #2s... And they were saying how lack of time it has been... And I can totally agree to that.. How suddenly after being so used to having one, with 3 kids, our hands are always full.. Haha.. But looking back now, its not too bad leh.. Lol..
Maybe coz we have grown accustomed to it.. Maybe coz Joy is much older, or maybe becoz she's accustomed to "shared love" or bcoz uncle pig is a full time dad.. Mayb coz we managed to have a helper sent by God.. Haha.. To which I'm so thankful for.. The kids; uncle pig and my helper.. They make the equation balance so that I can juz concentrate on the only thing I do best - work.



The flowers greeted me on the eve of my bday .. It's the 3rd bouquet in 3 mths .. Yes.. Uncle pig has been quite "on" in sending flowers this year and I don't know y.. Lol.. In fact after receiving it in jun, I told him NOT to do it for jul bcoz @32, what I really hope for is not flowers or presents .. But juz someone to bring me to the clinic whenever I'm sick.. Really.. That was and still is what I feel impt to me now.. Sound unappreciative but yes, what I need , the assurance that we will take care of each other in good times and bad times , till we c each other in Heaven again..

Having witnessed several deaths in my work and currently helping to do a few major claims for my clients, what I truly hope for, is that he will fetch me for my chemotherapy /dialysis/ hospital treatments when that day is here.. We don't know when who will leave.. That's why we need to treasure each other more while we are still ard.. And thus, the need to treat each living day as a God sent present.. And to treasure each other as though its the last day..

Sounding quite morbid .. And nagging.. @ 11pm, I'm counting down to the last hr of my "special day".. Everyone has zz... And I know that when I wake up Tom, its back to normalcy.. But to the kids and uncle pig, I'm special to them everyday .. And they to me too.. And that's what love is about .. At least to me..

Missing Charlene

-- Drafted on 9th jun 2013--
As time passes, I always think how are Alicia & Dez are coping? How is it like? I am worried abt them but I didn't have the courage to ask, for fear that it would juz remind them again. What I do now is to keep myself updated abt their news via their blog.. And each time I read their postings, each time I'm so encouraged by them , their faith in God and how difficult it muz have been, coming to terms with everything yet deeply missing the one we so adore ..

Lord I juz wanna pray that You heal them, be with them, in these difficult times .. I pray that their friends and relatives would be sensitive to their comments coz often than not, its words and not swords that hurt most. Lord, I pray for comfort and peace in their house, I pray that much as we understand that things are in ur master plan, I pray that we can have good news to be happy abt. I pray that You will be with this household , in Jesus name I pray, amen

Back posts

Looking back at my blog only did I realize that I haven't been blogging for the past 6 mths! Ya that's so long! I did actually pen a few entries here and there but they were mostly half entries.. So I shall take this time to " consolidate" them..

-- drafted on 11th may 2013 --

Simple pleasures

" sometimes the simple pleasures in life are more fun and meaningful than all the parties in the world"

It does sound pretty exaggerating but I'm kinda proud of myself.. (Give myself a pat) of being able to make the two cranky bb zz w/0 bringing them out on a pram ride. :)

Their usual routine would b to have their naps while uncle pig or my mil would bring them out in their pram. I thought I would need to since I hv never tried making both zz at the same time for their afternoon naps; at least not for a loooong time .

This happiness was simple, pure bliss..

-- Drafted on 27th May 2013--

Bye Pump..

Yes, I've decided to stop pumping.. After 1 year, 1 mth and 2 days.. Haha.. Time to stop.. It's a relief actually , to decide that its time finally .. Grace has been treating me as a human pacifier and she juz wanna latch on when she's sleeping and thus I can't zz well.. It's probably time to train her to wean off as well, and start zz on her own bed.

Praying that all will b smooth

-- Drafted on 29th may 2013--

One month break

It's the end of may and also the end of my one month break. How time flies.. Haha.. It's refreshing when there's a break, juz to spend some time with the kids. I didn't stop work entirely but I basically came home usually by 5pm, so that I could spend some time w the twins and also joy when she comes back fr school.

It's scary to think that I'm gonna start working again next week.. I don't know how I can cope.. It's juz like returning to work right after maternity leave! But I need to, for the sake of everyone.. It's nice to spend the afternoons with William juz doing grocery shopping or pedicures or simply nothing .. But I need the job.. And I love my job too! So yes, I'm coming back. A bit scared but excited . Gonna start preparing for work to start proper.

God, help me make all things fall in place, help me listen to You,. Guide me and let me know your directions .. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!

The day before HK

The day before HK
- in abt 12 hrs time I will be on the flight to HK with joy.. Been feeling so excited the entire day. But a check with the view cam 10 mins ago, and I saw Grace sitting alone in the living room. Though this moment only lasted last then 5 mins before auntie walked out from the kitchen, my heart sank.

The black and white picture of Grace sitting in my living room, encrypted deeply into my brain. What kind of mom am I , to leave behind my less than 2 yr old babies for a 5 days break? I felt sick. But I can't possibly cancel the trip now and break the heart of my 6 yr old. She has been counting down everyday . 进退两难。

I'm starting to miss the rest of my village. Will I even enjoy my trip? Why did I plan it anyway? Was it more for me or Joy? That qn alone made me even worse.

It was an impulse buy because of the air ticket promo. It was also becoz William thought it was good to give some "me" time for joy and for me too. And I missed my frens in HK , having cancelled my last trip at the eleventh hr. Right now, I Juz hope he give me a surprise and fly there go meet me at Disneyland ! Yes! ( though I know fully that with the twins ard, it's hard to achieve any of the reasons I listed above)

God, in all situations, You said to draw close to u. Lord, I pray that You protect us during the trip; that I will travel in peace. Lord, I believe this happens for a reason, and I want to believe that it's for the good of everyone in my village. Lord, I pray that You help William while I'm away; that the twins will be obedient; and Lord, You protect their health . Lord, I want to pray that with me being away, Grace will be weaned off the breast as well; that she will be able to sleep back to her bed, Lord, I pray that You protect each and everyone of us. Lord, I also pray that during the trip, I will be patient to Joy, that we will be able to spend quality time together . Lord, I pray that I will be able to understand the thoughts of my 6 yr old, that I will be able to continue to hold her closely to me, that she will not grow distance from us with the twins ard. Lord, I pray that you let her understand that we are her family, that she has this village to share her joy and sorrows with. Lord, I pray all these in ur mighty name, amen!

Waiting

Waiting

Through my line of work , I've had clients who became my friends after a while .. And right now I juz wanna pray for this couple and their child, charlene. At birth, Charlene is borned with a rare brain disorder n thus began the route of beating the odds ahead of them. I went to reread their blog again from Day 01. And indeed God has been gracious and God is good. Charlene has battled so many milestones that we normal people might have taken for granted , but each milestone is a battle worth fighting for and we rejoice at each milestone. 

Time flies and Charlene is coming to 4 yrs old. (A miracle on its own.) And right now, from my understanding, Charlene is fighting for the battle to survive . Yes , she is sick, very sick and the doctors have said Tt her lungs and heart have lost its functions and its only a matter of time ...

As a Christian , I know this is not the end and we shld rejoice as the child will see The Lord soon. But as a mother, my heart goes out to the family. It's not easy to let go. It's not easy to simply decide not to let the doctors intervene anymore and carry the child in yr hands when the next time her heart stops.  Even for me, a stranger who only sees them once or twice a year , is finding it hard to accept. I feel so hopeless when there's nothing much I could do to help. 

Lord, there's nothing I can do but I juz wanna pray for this family . I pray that the parents will be comforted, they will have peace in their hearts. Lord, I want to believe that everything happens for a reason and is part of ur plan. And though we do not understd y certain things happen, we want to believe that it is for the best of our interests. U r our Father in Heaven, and what U says we have to obey. Lord, I pray also, that U remove Charlene's sufferings. As an infant, she's been through more trials than her peers . Right now, God, I pray that You remove the sufferings. God, I pray that You carry the parents in walking through this valley. It has been a difficult and long journey and this period is the toughest . I pray that You comfort this family, in Jesus name I pray, Amen.

9/10

Guess the hectic work in Apr had an adverse effect on joy.. She scored 9/10 for spelling on mon n her teacher say she cried hysterically for 10 mins and blamed us for not going thru w her. Said that we only had time w the twins, mom was busy working and didn't even bother to go thru it with her.

Coming from a 3rd party mouth but the hurt was equally hard, a constant reminder to rem Tt she's only a 6yr old. For the record, I did go thru with her on Friday but had forgotten to do a revision on Sunday which is a day before the Monday spelling test.

Another reminder is that I have to remember Tt Joy being prideful, will not always be vocal abt her feelings and I need to constantly do a check on her.

I was telling some of my friends that yes, boys can be a handful to care for in the initial years , but girls, being more feeling creatures , will require constant TLCs throughout their entire life cycle and it can be equally demanding if not more.

I love Joy and I'm grateful for her presence, her cheerfulness , independence, as well as many traits that make her so wonderfully special. I just pray that I will not neglect her just because she seems more independent and thus doesn't require much attention

My Man and his back (Part 2)

- Drafted on 7th May 2013-

Today I came home abt 10plus.. My usual if I hv a couple of night appts. I saw him carrying two crying babies and an emo joy.. He told me that he's going crazy.. And that I shld no longer have any night appts. At that moment, I could see only frustration in his eyes.. He was tired and in pain. His back was giving him problems, and there seem to be no end to it. It seems better on some days but on other days it seem (at least to me) that he's limping.
 
I didn't say a single word and proceeded to make Joy and Grace zz first . That was the least I could do so that he only need to handle Vera, who is still sick and super cranky, and after battling with the two kids for an hr, they hv also zz.. (Finally !) And it was time to check on the big man. He is still emo.. And after a bit of coaxing and a bowl of instant noodles, he finally broke his silence.
 
The man was afraid Tt his back would not recover . It didn't seem like recovering and its frustrating coz there's so many things he need to do but he can't do any now. I was afraid too (though I didn't dare tell him) when I saw the hopelessness in his eyes. I only told him that for this mth I will be home every night to cover his duties and he juz need to concentrate on recovery. But deep down, I guess both of us were afraid, what if things don't improve ? What's gonna happen? I don't hv the answers for now and only God has them.
 
In times like this, its when I draw close to God too.. That I'm reminded that the human is weak but God is strong and He will perform miracles and do what's necessary . In fear, I said a silent prayer and also asked another sister to pray for us too. I pray that God, You heal him, remove the pain and make his back well again. Maybe this is a reminder for us to rest, to remember to seek You in all situations, maybe this is when we all come and draw close to U again, so Tt U perform the miracle that the human deem impossible. But God, I know U r always faithful and U have never failed us. I prayed that You ride the storm with us and let this be another testimony for us to say! In Jesus name I pray, Amen!
 
James 5:16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
 

Vera

- Drafted on 5th May 2013-

My little one is sick, in fact she's been pretty sticky before she's sick. Not sleeping at night for 3 nights in a row ! I'm not sure if the sleepless nights caused the flu and fever or it was the other way round. It made her only want to be carried to zz and that was extremely difficult at this period of time coz Uncle Pig 's back has not recovered yet . And I could hear her cries at diff times of the night. But there was nothing much I could do. If we swop roles, I risk waking Grace up and he won't be able to put her back to zz..
 
Lord , I pray that You heal Vera; Lord I pray that U teach us and guide us in bringing up this special child. She is so unlike her sisters and I pray for wisdom and patience in loving this child. We want to believe that she will be moulded and shaped to the best we possibly can. Lord I pray You heal her, and also that it will not spread to the other two girls. In Jesus name I pray, amen

Names

- Drafted on 28th Apr 2013-
The party came and left. The twins are offfically 366 days old. Guess everyone was exhausted from the party coz everyone zz before 10pm! Haha.. 

I thought my party was a small scale one but it still seem pretty hectic ! Perhaps we shld juz do a family only party next yr ba. 

It juz seem yday when the same grp of pple came for the baby shower and now there's the 1 yr old party ! God is good and gracious to me. Today joy asked the meaning of names; mine, daddy's and her sisters.

Joy: Used in the Middle Ages, and made popular in the 17th century under the influence of the Puritans, to whom being "joyful in the Lord" was an important duty. In modern times, it generally signifies the parents' joy in their new-born child, or with the intention of wishing her a happy life. 

Grace:  It is of Latin origin, and the meaning of Grace is "favor; blessing.

Vera : It is of Russian and Slavic origin, and the meaning of Vera is "faith". 

I googled the definitions in order to answer Joy's question and how true and how apt their names were for them. We named our firstborn Joy, because we were delighted of the new addition to our family, she was God's gift to us and also the key to us coming back to The Lord. 

Grace and Vera were named because I wanted to remember God's grace on us, esp during our struggles with infertility and how hard we tried during that period of time. And it was only through Faith that we were blessed with the twins which we never thought would b possible. Vera is also a challenging one, and I personally have to remind myself that she is God's gift to us and to have faith in what God has install for us thru this child.

Happy 1 year old!

- Drafted on 27th Apr 2013-

Lying down on my bed half naked and breast feeding grace, and staring at party balloons, I know I am 幸福的。The girls are finally one today and in a couple of hrs time, we are gonna celebrate with some friends , have a small party and relax. 

365 days since they came into our world and its a huge milestone in my life, if not the Choos. I never quite imagine life taking care of twins although I did blog/believe/say that I'm gonna have a pair of twins even before I was ever pregnant (bcoz of my mom being a twin herself ) but after having a pair myself, I often wonder why God gave me! Hahahahaha.. My God must be thinking why is it so hard to satisfy humans? Didn't I juz ordered a pair of twins and didn't He juz delivered his promise? After having twins, I kept wondering if only I had a child one at a time, then mayb we could have 4 kids in total. Or maybe we would be able to manage our time better with each and every single one of them. But bcoz the twins really exhausted all our means (esp when we can't rely on either set of grandparents for much help), we decided that this is it. 3 kids and I've completely my national commitment . Mayb God has plans for us that I can't see now la.. But I am still grateful for him for what he has done for us, for bringing me to the valleys and to teaching me to lean on him in all situations , to trusting him in all. Yes I'm grateful for all. It's when one has reached the valley before he starts to appreciate the scenery at the mountains., (chim hor)

At this moment, I'm grateful and happy and satisfied. And I wanna pray for all my friends who's going thru their struggles right now, be it infertility , work or r/s, I juz wanna assure you that God is with You and His promise is real . I pray that soon you will be able to ride thru the valleys, that whatever seem the world to u now will soon come to pass, that You trust God in yr walk with Him, and may He guides yr passage walk. In Jesus name I pray , amen!

My man & his back Part I

- Drafted on 26th Apr 2013-

Recently uncle pig started to have severe back pain , so severe tat he could only walk less than10 steps. Yes, 10 only and by then he would be forced to sit down by the severe pain. My heart broke, coz this is one of the few times when I c my giant crushed, and I wonder how long has he endured the pain till he no longer could bear it any longer. 

It scared the shit out of me, literally , coz he would b in such pain Tt he would burst with cold sweat n he couldn't even talk. I was afraid Tt it was stroke or something along Tt line. 

My heart was heartbroken to see him in such pain, and I ponder how long has he been hiding from me before he can longer take it. Why didn't he seek medical help before Tt or even tell me? After 2 separate visits to the GP who gave him painkiller injections, plus 1 visit to the TCM, nothing seem to help. He was still in pain, and worse, he could only walk from my room to the living room before the 10 steps r up and come crushing down. Finally he went to his old chiropractor who managed to make the situation better . I'm praying everyday that things will b better and God to heal him completely. The man is still able to joke that at least he can walk 15 steps nowadays , but that's hardly a consolation to me. I told him that we are supposed to grow old together, and he can only go to Heaven after me, not before me! 

Jokes aside, I was guilty for not paying attention, for not being more meticulous in picking up the signs; when he started to use the muscle relaxer more frequently, when he was limping, or when he was always sitting from one pt to another pt. I missed all those signs . I wasn't attentive enough. I really felt incompetent as his wife, his soulmate. How could I not know? I told him tat from onwards he's supposed to report to me whenever a small /big thing happened for his health and I would decide if medical treatment was necessary. And I hope he obeys.

Man, they only make u hate and love them even more..

Weaning Trial #3

- Drafted on 4th Apr 2013 -

Today Grace drank a 7oz fm n zzz liaoz.. No fussing n nv ask for latch.. I hope this is a Gd start to weaning ! Feeling sad yet happy at the same time . It's a bittersweet moment coz now Tt my supply is so low, I'm hoping that w a full feed, she will b able to zz through also. It's been so long Tt the twins have been waking up that I almost forgot Tt they shld have been sleeping through ! 

Weaning Trial #2

- Drafted on 7th Mar 2013 -

Reached home at 11pm today and was super anxious to know the status of uncle pig 's closing.. The result ? Grace zz at abt 8pm, after struggling for only 15 mins . She drank a total of 6 oz for her closing feed too! Happy happy...

But just upon reaching home, she heard my voice n woke up again. Nursed for a while n went back to zz; w a smile in her sleep .. So happy.. Maybe this is a step nearer to weaning

Day 3 @ Cruise (10 mths update)

Looking at my two babies (grace & joy) sleeping next to me, I know life is good. Yes it can be exhausting taking care of them but the rewards hv far more exceeded the pains .

My joy , who is 6 this year, is on auto pilot mode. But she yearns for the spoon feeding attention given to her two siblings . I'm glad Tt at least at this trip I'm able to spend some heart to heart talk with her. I need to hold her tightly before she no longer shares her thoughts with me.

My grace , the sticky glue , has been drinking from the "tap" these few days. Although she is more difficult to care for at nights due to the constant latching , I'm thankful also Tt this is the easy way to make her zz compared to daddy's way of walking her around. I hope she will love her sisters like we do as she grow older

My Vera, the playful one & the constantly exploring new boundaries. She's been more sticky to me on this cruise, which I'm not sure why but am thankful for it as this allows me to take care of her more frequently. Sometimes I'm amazed at how brilliant her brain works and I'm juz praying that she will not let her little intelligence cut any shortcuts.

God, I'm thankful that You provided us with this trip, to relax and enjoy as a family. I hope that You continue to watch over these 3 girls as they grow up, that they be good children of God. Lord, use them to their fullest capacity, and I pray that You use me to guide them. God I pray for patience in taking care of them, and much as the journey ahead seems tiring and challenging and unbearable, You provide the strength and wisdom to carry me through . Lord, thank you for all that You've provided us so far. In Jesus name I pray,
Amen

9 mths update

- Composed on 27th Jan 2013 -

My twins are 9mths old today! How time flies! It's so difficult to take a pic of them looking at the camera AND smiling at the same time! Daddy is better at it and always have nicer pics than me. 

To me, 9 months old is a big milestone coz it represents an equal time they spent in my womb n out of it.. Hahaha.. But seriously , looking at these 3 kids n the "uncle", I juz wanna thank God for them. Thank God for blessing them to me. No amt of $$ can be used in exchange for them. Not even if they hv made me much  heavier than before, not even if I become so sleep deprived, not even if I can travel the world w the many incentives .. They are my world, my everything, and im enjoying every moment of them, even though sometimes it can b exhausting n heart breaking at times

我的志愿

Today joy came back with homework for her journal writing. The topic is " What do I want to be ..."

I went thru the topic with her n asked her what would she like to b? And her reply? She asked me what was my job ! This came as a pleasant surprise coz I rem asking her a few years bk n her reply was " To be a baker like papa." I patiently explain the title of my occupation n what it covers; to which she says she wanna do exactly what mummy is doing now! Haha.. Nice n heartwarming to know Tt my girl wanna be "me" when she grows up though I know Tt its still too early to say. I know I wanted to be a lawyer when I was 5, but I changed to a dozen others as I grew older . Haha.. Doesn't this happen to all of us? :p

To hold or not?

Time suddenly flew past so fast that it just seem yesterday when we were still doing the hectic 2-3hrly night shifts. Oh my God, the twins are growing up so fast and I wished that time could stop for a while, for me to breathe and enjoy this moment.

Now that they are 9months already, the thought of holding their 1 year old party starts lingering in my mind. To hold or not? As usual, me being me, I shall list all in point forms for easy digestion.

Yes
1) We did it for JOy and so naturally, we should do it for the twins
2) We only need to hold one party, but we can celebrate two persons bday!
3) Its more for us, to celebrate our sanity over this past year. Looking back, I really don't know how we manage to survive. The crazy nights, the constant cryings, plus the sick days... everything.. i'm surprised we haven't got to killing each other yet..hahaha..
4) Who doesn't love PARTIES!!!!

No
1) It's a HASSLE, from the organizing of it, to the troubling of people to come...
2) The thought of having to entertain some of Uncle Pig's relatives is a huge turnoff..


can't really recall the No reasons for now.. it didnt seem so limited initially.. hmm, well we shall see la... vera is screaming her lungs out, so shall stop for now.. she's my little princess.. smiley and crying all the time...

My hero

This is a photo taken secretly at 4am when my man is making Vera, who is sick, zzz. My man and my girl.

I envy his persistence. Coz Vera can be pretty stubborn n cry real LOUD when she doesn't wanna do the things daddy wants him to. Eg sleeping

I'm thankful for him, for taking care of everything so that Everyone else can hv a peace of Gd night rest while he does all the difficult jobs. It's often easier to give in to the baby's demands esp at the wee hours, but no, he doesn't. What is right and what's wrong is clearly spelt out.

I'm thankful that he manages the household while I go out to work. Spent a full day with the twins today at home coz they were sick n I was afraid Tt he can't handle. The twins were Gd to me. They nap for 1.5 hrs straight in the afternoon and I too nap for an hour. But even so, my patience drew thin by late afternoon. I was like a cranky baby, tired and frustrated . He took it all, he took over the rest despite doing more things, sleeping less, but he never complained. My man, my hero. =p

To stop or not

- Drafted on 13th Jan 2013-

Recently the thought of stopping breast feeding has been lingering on my mind. Two weeks ago When the kids had fallen sick n having even 6hrs of zz was a dream, it became a strong thought. I've decided to list down to prevent this post become a long winded entry .

Pros of weaning:
1) 母牛的日子已经九个月了
2) tired of pumping every 3 hrly
3) wean Grace off the breast so Tt:
- she won't keep waking up middle of night to latch
- she wont end up perpetually on my bed.
- so that daddy can do night closing/feeds.
4) more attention/time can b spent on the kids instead with the pump
5) fatigue

Cons:
1) increases their immunity. Grace was actually not sick coz she's still on BM but Vera caught the bug fr joy
2) I do enjoy nursing Grace even though it could b 3am .
3) ticket to snacking
4) dwindling supply makes pumping pointless but prolong periods could worsen situation.

I did prolong the pumping periods when the girls were sick coz I was really tired n determined to stop it. However I'm having second thoughts now Tt a helper can come, plus the sick days r almost over.( though I'm still v sick). I'm afraid of regretting my decision once it stops completely. I know I regretted It during joy era even though that was a much easier decision as I only pumped exclusively back then. Now it involves Grace.. Ahhhh! I know it's exaggerating n most likely she won't remember it but I do enjoy the attention now. Haha.. I like babies.. Esp before one yr old when their world revolves only us.. Haha.. Simple .

Daddy's gonna start the sleep training for grace today. I hope I can tahan the long night. God be with me and guide me in making the right decision for your children: in Jesus name I pray amen !

I'm down w fever. 37.8.. :(

- Drafted on 9th Jan 2013-

I'm down w fever. 37.8.. :(

Haven't had fever for a looong time that I can't even remember when was my last time. But today is the first time I regretted. Regretted that I made grace solely mine at night. I don't even know how or what to do tonight when she wakes up. Am I still going to continue feeding her? Or shld William juz take over and implement the changes ? Super pissed with myself for falling sick and even more pissed that I run the risk of spreading to the kids. Vera is still sick and everytime I c William feed her the many medicines, my heart hurt. I know they will all come out of it, being survivors. But the thought Tt I might spread to them is hurting me now. :(

Weaning Trial #1

Tried to give grace the bottle when she woke up at 10pm for milk. And this was juz after I pumped. U know she's not satisfied despite latching n decided to make a bottle of milk for her. Her answer? She tried 2 mouthfuls n spit the tit out. She rather go hungry . My grace, my fussy grace. Another bittersweet moment. 
Oh God, pls forgive me for being happy abt it. I've promised uncle pig to stop liaoz.. But sometimes .. Well.. U know.. 
Will try again, and hopefully the time is ripe.
 
 

Happy 8.5mths

- Drafted on 7th Jan 2013
 
Time flew past especially fast over the past few weeks that I missed out a post for their 7mth! Haha.. N lazy mummy is too tired to do a backdate. This shall be a short post too, in view that they r still in the midst of being sick and mummy is juz "stealing" some time while making them zzz.. 
 
1) movements 
Grace has now mastered crawling and she can move everywhere as long as she's motivated to do so. She has also mastered sitting up from a crawling position. Lastly, she has started to try standing up by relying on support. 
 
Vera, my dear princess, on the other hand also has several milestones. She has learned to flip and also started crawling backwards .
 
2) Feeding Solids
Ideallythey will have 2 meals everyday, with a cereal at about 10/11 am and a porridge at 4/5pm. However, sometimes when we go out, we missed out a meal or sometimes uncle pig is too tired then we will feed a bottle of baby food instead. It works fine, and we are pretty flexible with either too.. As long as it s to our convenience.
 
3) Milk
- their milk feeds continue to be volatile and I've grown to be immune to it. I was hoping that they eat more, so that the milk intake is not a concern. But sometimes they can eat juz a meal and hv a bottle of milk shared between both sisters. (Talk about dieting!)
 
3) Appetite
- Vera is a darling when it comes to feeding. She's not fussy with food and she eats everything and anything that we give her. 
- Grace on the other hand is a very fussy eater. She only eats some food and u can really tell when she doesn't want anymore. Coz she will keep her mouth shut or she will simply look everywhere else except at u. 
 
4) Sleeping pattern
- Vera has been fully trained by Uncle Pig. She will drink her last feed at her cot at 6pm and zz till abt 1am when she will ask for another bottle. But even that is done in her cot and she will zz on her own after Tt. 
- Grace needs mummy to b closed. Haiz.. At 6pm, she wants me to hold her bottle, and she will drink on my bed. Halfway through, she will want to latch, and eventually she will zz .. But bcoz she latches, she will wake up more frequently and basically all her night feedings hv to b latched coz she refuses to drink fr the bottle. So on some nights she will end up zz on my bed because of the frequent feedings. On good nights she will only wake up at 1am, followed by 6am. Seriously trying to wean her off.. Haha.. Love hate r/s
 
 

Crazy Weekend

It's been a while since the thought of getting a helping comes back so strongly again. This happens again this week, when Joy and Vera are down w flu.. It's especially difficult for Vera as she gets more cranky and demanding. Joy is bigger and thus she's pretty much okie with it.

Oh, and Uncle Pig is down with an eye infection. It's why pple say it never rains but storms. Everytime whenever the kids or he fall sick, things always seem so impossible to carry on. It's always at this moment I ask God, " why?" The many Ys in my head like " Why did we have twins?" Or "why didn't we have steady grandparents to help?" Or " why wasn't I more capable so that I can help in the chores?" Or " why am I always so tired?" The many many whys ...

I always feel bad whenever Uncle Pig only has 3 hrs of zz or lesser.. And this time even though battling an eye infection, he also had to take care of poor Vera.. He says the only thing I can do is to zz so that I can cover the days but even daytime sometimes its hard to take care of two.. Esp w Grace crawling everywhere. Today I counted the no. Of bumps on her head. There were 3 in total; and the latest one was because she fell down fr my bed while I was trying to calm a wailing Vera.. Haiz.. Why didn't God give us 8 hands so that I can carry the 3 kids to prevent them fr falling down or killing each other? I know it sounds exaggerating but today these was a moment when all 3 cried, when Grace wanted to kiss Joy but ending up knocking her teeth thus hurting Joy n herself. Vera is the constant crying baby . At that moment , I was too tired to cry. I only prayed for 8 hands so that I could hug all of them.

Now looking forward and praying that God sent some help soon.. Yes, we've decided to get a helper last week though I was still half hearted but after today, I think yes, we need one la.. So that the housework can b done magically , so that there's a 1:1 adult to child ratio when required, and also so that Uncle pig can really fall sick.

Lord , right now we wanna pray that You sent us the right helper for us, that she be willing to stay in our family, that she will serve more as a help rather than hindrance. Lord I also want to pray that despite the additional help we are getting, we will continue to be hands on with the kids, and that we will be able to teach the kids (esp Joy) to take up some of the housework . Oh and we wanna pray that You heal the sick soon! In Jesus name I pray, Amen!

A busy early morning

- Drafterd on 29th Nov 2012 -

Do u sometimes feel that u r stretched to the Max and nothing u do can help remedy the situation ?

Today is one of those days where the entire household is stretched to our max..

At 1am, the twins woke up for their feeds. Uncle Pig and I each took one .. Grace after drinking decided not to zzz.. She refused to latch to zz or even suck her thumb.. U know she's tired but she juz doesn't wanna zz.. This lasted till 3am when Joy woke up w serious stomachaches.. She says she's unwell n insisted Tt she wanna c a doctor. This is kinda rare coz usually she will prefer to zz through so Tt she can c her fav dr in the morning. So uncle pig decided to bring her to Kkh while I stayed at home to jaga the twins. My grace refused to zz n by 3plus, even Vera was awake by her takings ! Omg.. The only thing I wanna do is juz zz.. By the grace of God, I managed to make them zz by 5am! N managed to catch a wink for 2 hrs before they woke up again..
Joy and Uncle pig in the meantime was still at the hosp. Dr diagnosed her as stomach flu n wants her to stay ard the vicinity for observation for 90 mins.. Which after everything they only got back at 7 plus am, simply exhausted. Both r sleeping soundly while I'm juggling the twins.

How amazing it is when u r stretched to the max and relying only on God to tide the situation over. It's only 10am now but I feel like I've worked the entire day.. Hopefully it gets better through the day