To hold or not?

Time suddenly flew past so fast that it just seem yesterday when we were still doing the hectic 2-3hrly night shifts. Oh my God, the twins are growing up so fast and I wished that time could stop for a while, for me to breathe and enjoy this moment.

Now that they are 9months already, the thought of holding their 1 year old party starts lingering in my mind. To hold or not? As usual, me being me, I shall list all in point forms for easy digestion.

Yes
1) We did it for JOy and so naturally, we should do it for the twins
2) We only need to hold one party, but we can celebrate two persons bday!
3) Its more for us, to celebrate our sanity over this past year. Looking back, I really don't know how we manage to survive. The crazy nights, the constant cryings, plus the sick days... everything.. i'm surprised we haven't got to killing each other yet..hahaha..
4) Who doesn't love PARTIES!!!!

No
1) It's a HASSLE, from the organizing of it, to the troubling of people to come...
2) The thought of having to entertain some of Uncle Pig's relatives is a huge turnoff..


can't really recall the No reasons for now.. it didnt seem so limited initially.. hmm, well we shall see la... vera is screaming her lungs out, so shall stop for now.. she's my little princess.. smiley and crying all the time...

My hero

This is a photo taken secretly at 4am when my man is making Vera, who is sick, zzz. My man and my girl.

I envy his persistence. Coz Vera can be pretty stubborn n cry real LOUD when she doesn't wanna do the things daddy wants him to. Eg sleeping

I'm thankful for him, for taking care of everything so that Everyone else can hv a peace of Gd night rest while he does all the difficult jobs. It's often easier to give in to the baby's demands esp at the wee hours, but no, he doesn't. What is right and what's wrong is clearly spelt out.

I'm thankful that he manages the household while I go out to work. Spent a full day with the twins today at home coz they were sick n I was afraid Tt he can't handle. The twins were Gd to me. They nap for 1.5 hrs straight in the afternoon and I too nap for an hour. But even so, my patience drew thin by late afternoon. I was like a cranky baby, tired and frustrated . He took it all, he took over the rest despite doing more things, sleeping less, but he never complained. My man, my hero. =p

To stop or not

- Drafted on 13th Jan 2013-

Recently the thought of stopping breast feeding has been lingering on my mind. Two weeks ago When the kids had fallen sick n having even 6hrs of zz was a dream, it became a strong thought. I've decided to list down to prevent this post become a long winded entry .

Pros of weaning:
1) 母牛的日子已经九个月了
2) tired of pumping every 3 hrly
3) wean Grace off the breast so Tt:
- she won't keep waking up middle of night to latch
- she wont end up perpetually on my bed.
- so that daddy can do night closing/feeds.
4) more attention/time can b spent on the kids instead with the pump
5) fatigue

Cons:
1) increases their immunity. Grace was actually not sick coz she's still on BM but Vera caught the bug fr joy
2) I do enjoy nursing Grace even though it could b 3am .
3) ticket to snacking
4) dwindling supply makes pumping pointless but prolong periods could worsen situation.

I did prolong the pumping periods when the girls were sick coz I was really tired n determined to stop it. However I'm having second thoughts now Tt a helper can come, plus the sick days r almost over.( though I'm still v sick). I'm afraid of regretting my decision once it stops completely. I know I regretted It during joy era even though that was a much easier decision as I only pumped exclusively back then. Now it involves Grace.. Ahhhh! I know it's exaggerating n most likely she won't remember it but I do enjoy the attention now. Haha.. I like babies.. Esp before one yr old when their world revolves only us.. Haha.. Simple .

Daddy's gonna start the sleep training for grace today. I hope I can tahan the long night. God be with me and guide me in making the right decision for your children: in Jesus name I pray amen !

I'm down w fever. 37.8.. :(

- Drafted on 9th Jan 2013-

I'm down w fever. 37.8.. :(

Haven't had fever for a looong time that I can't even remember when was my last time. But today is the first time I regretted. Regretted that I made grace solely mine at night. I don't even know how or what to do tonight when she wakes up. Am I still going to continue feeding her? Or shld William juz take over and implement the changes ? Super pissed with myself for falling sick and even more pissed that I run the risk of spreading to the kids. Vera is still sick and everytime I c William feed her the many medicines, my heart hurt. I know they will all come out of it, being survivors. But the thought Tt I might spread to them is hurting me now. :(

Weaning Trial #1

Tried to give grace the bottle when she woke up at 10pm for milk. And this was juz after I pumped. U know she's not satisfied despite latching n decided to make a bottle of milk for her. Her answer? She tried 2 mouthfuls n spit the tit out. She rather go hungry . My grace, my fussy grace. Another bittersweet moment. 
Oh God, pls forgive me for being happy abt it. I've promised uncle pig to stop liaoz.. But sometimes .. Well.. U know.. 
Will try again, and hopefully the time is ripe.
 
 

Happy 8.5mths

- Drafted on 7th Jan 2013
 
Time flew past especially fast over the past few weeks that I missed out a post for their 7mth! Haha.. N lazy mummy is too tired to do a backdate. This shall be a short post too, in view that they r still in the midst of being sick and mummy is juz "stealing" some time while making them zzz.. 
 
1) movements 
Grace has now mastered crawling and she can move everywhere as long as she's motivated to do so. She has also mastered sitting up from a crawling position. Lastly, she has started to try standing up by relying on support. 
 
Vera, my dear princess, on the other hand also has several milestones. She has learned to flip and also started crawling backwards .
 
2) Feeding Solids
Ideallythey will have 2 meals everyday, with a cereal at about 10/11 am and a porridge at 4/5pm. However, sometimes when we go out, we missed out a meal or sometimes uncle pig is too tired then we will feed a bottle of baby food instead. It works fine, and we are pretty flexible with either too.. As long as it s to our convenience.
 
3) Milk
- their milk feeds continue to be volatile and I've grown to be immune to it. I was hoping that they eat more, so that the milk intake is not a concern. But sometimes they can eat juz a meal and hv a bottle of milk shared between both sisters. (Talk about dieting!)
 
3) Appetite
- Vera is a darling when it comes to feeding. She's not fussy with food and she eats everything and anything that we give her. 
- Grace on the other hand is a very fussy eater. She only eats some food and u can really tell when she doesn't want anymore. Coz she will keep her mouth shut or she will simply look everywhere else except at u. 
 
4) Sleeping pattern
- Vera has been fully trained by Uncle Pig. She will drink her last feed at her cot at 6pm and zz till abt 1am when she will ask for another bottle. But even that is done in her cot and she will zz on her own after Tt. 
- Grace needs mummy to b closed. Haiz.. At 6pm, she wants me to hold her bottle, and she will drink on my bed. Halfway through, she will want to latch, and eventually she will zz .. But bcoz she latches, she will wake up more frequently and basically all her night feedings hv to b latched coz she refuses to drink fr the bottle. So on some nights she will end up zz on my bed because of the frequent feedings. On good nights she will only wake up at 1am, followed by 6am. Seriously trying to wean her off.. Haha.. Love hate r/s
 
 

Crazy Weekend

It's been a while since the thought of getting a helping comes back so strongly again. This happens again this week, when Joy and Vera are down w flu.. It's especially difficult for Vera as she gets more cranky and demanding. Joy is bigger and thus she's pretty much okie with it.

Oh, and Uncle Pig is down with an eye infection. It's why pple say it never rains but storms. Everytime whenever the kids or he fall sick, things always seem so impossible to carry on. It's always at this moment I ask God, " why?" The many Ys in my head like " Why did we have twins?" Or "why didn't we have steady grandparents to help?" Or " why wasn't I more capable so that I can help in the chores?" Or " why am I always so tired?" The many many whys ...

I always feel bad whenever Uncle Pig only has 3 hrs of zz or lesser.. And this time even though battling an eye infection, he also had to take care of poor Vera.. He says the only thing I can do is to zz so that I can cover the days but even daytime sometimes its hard to take care of two.. Esp w Grace crawling everywhere. Today I counted the no. Of bumps on her head. There were 3 in total; and the latest one was because she fell down fr my bed while I was trying to calm a wailing Vera.. Haiz.. Why didn't God give us 8 hands so that I can carry the 3 kids to prevent them fr falling down or killing each other? I know it sounds exaggerating but today these was a moment when all 3 cried, when Grace wanted to kiss Joy but ending up knocking her teeth thus hurting Joy n herself. Vera is the constant crying baby . At that moment , I was too tired to cry. I only prayed for 8 hands so that I could hug all of them.

Now looking forward and praying that God sent some help soon.. Yes, we've decided to get a helper last week though I was still half hearted but after today, I think yes, we need one la.. So that the housework can b done magically , so that there's a 1:1 adult to child ratio when required, and also so that Uncle pig can really fall sick.

Lord , right now we wanna pray that You sent us the right helper for us, that she be willing to stay in our family, that she will serve more as a help rather than hindrance. Lord I also want to pray that despite the additional help we are getting, we will continue to be hands on with the kids, and that we will be able to teach the kids (esp Joy) to take up some of the housework . Oh and we wanna pray that You heal the sick soon! In Jesus name I pray, Amen!

A busy early morning

- Drafterd on 29th Nov 2012 -

Do u sometimes feel that u r stretched to the Max and nothing u do can help remedy the situation ?

Today is one of those days where the entire household is stretched to our max..

At 1am, the twins woke up for their feeds. Uncle Pig and I each took one .. Grace after drinking decided not to zzz.. She refused to latch to zz or even suck her thumb.. U know she's tired but she juz doesn't wanna zz.. This lasted till 3am when Joy woke up w serious stomachaches.. She says she's unwell n insisted Tt she wanna c a doctor. This is kinda rare coz usually she will prefer to zz through so Tt she can c her fav dr in the morning. So uncle pig decided to bring her to Kkh while I stayed at home to jaga the twins. My grace refused to zz n by 3plus, even Vera was awake by her takings ! Omg.. The only thing I wanna do is juz zz.. By the grace of God, I managed to make them zz by 5am! N managed to catch a wink for 2 hrs before they woke up again..
Joy and Uncle pig in the meantime was still at the hosp. Dr diagnosed her as stomach flu n wants her to stay ard the vicinity for observation for 90 mins.. Which after everything they only got back at 7 plus am, simply exhausted. Both r sleeping soundly while I'm juggling the twins.

How amazing it is when u r stretched to the max and relying only on God to tide the situation over. It's only 10am now but I feel like I've worked the entire day.. Hopefully it gets better through the day