Happy birthday to me!

Decided to pen a letter to myself on my bday. After all that has happened in 2025, I’ve learnt to be a little kinder to myself. 

Dearest 我，

生日快乐🎂！I’ve grown so much over the last 3yrs. 

July is my bday month and it’s also my work anniversary as a leader. So every July feels a lot more; more grateful; more loved; more fulfilled. ❤️

What more do I want for myself? In the next 6mths, 1yr, 3yrs and even 5yrs?

I want to be able to live each day with purpose and ❤️, to be able to be a lighthouse for the people around me. 

我长大了。不再每次自责 or butcher myself for every mistake that happened. 

我要过得更充实，更开心。

Grateful to God for all the blessings He has given me. 🤗

How much is a litre of confidence?

I talked abt this several times on my blog. 

https://pigletchoo.blogspot.com/2023/12/lessons.html?m=1

Looking back, I’m definitely more confident now compared to 2yrs ago. 

And I’m happy where I am now. 

I’m thankful I didn’t surrender when things felt overwhelming.

I’m thankful for the opportunity to grow, and grow tremendously which I didn’t expect. 

I’m thankful to have my band of cheerleaders who stood by me, waiting to just give me a hug whenever I feel like crying. You know who u are. 

On a personal note, I finally decided to hold a celebration for our 20th wedding anniversary. It’s been on my mind since my 10th anniversary, but I got lazy/distracted/overwhelmed. 

And then a whimsical trip to JB, I found myself wanting to do it again. Cause 20 yrs is a milestone. 

”我不知道我们还会有多一个20年吗？” that was what I told uncle Choo.. 

Thoughts of death or even the vulnerability of marriage kept lingering in my mind. 

So I decided, let’s do it! 

Looking for a venue to do a small cozy little party for now. 

Hope I wouldn’t give up and cancel it by the next post! Hahahaha.. 

BBQ on a hot Monday afternoon

The ladies came over and we had a great time chatting. Never thought that we would click so well. 

I thought my closest friends would just be J&Jm but 缘分 pulled us together closer. 

It’s funny coz towards the end of the party I was already on hibernate mode and they noticed it and suggested leaving. Hahahha.. but I was fine w them chilling by. Just that I was too tired to make any conversations. 

Thankful for the friendship. ❤️❤️❤️

It’s especially cute to see the toddlers able to play well with each other too. 

Reflections 2024

For many reasons I stopped blogging last year. But I’m back. 

And I want to start by penning my reflections for 2024. 

The many things I’m grateful for 2024

• My GR improved by 5% 

The fact that it didn’t dropped despite the increase in workload - Im thankful. 2024 had been a crazy hectic year, juggling two PSLE kids, the added management workload etc

• Team improvement 

About 80% of my kids improved their performance last year, and I’m thankful to be around to witness their amazing growth. Some did their personal best ever, some were happy to be first time parents, and some were happy to chill. I’m grateful for their trust in me - tbh . I wouldn’t have  lasted that long if not for their constant love and kindness.

• Couple trip 

Looking back, I’m thankful for the couple trip that William and I did last year. It was a good break from parenting duties, and to refocus on just us. To pay attention to the man that has quietly grown old, but never before put us in second priority. 

• Personal growth

I’m amazed by my own growth; my mental growth. My confidence to hold my own and not stand in the shadows of my predecessor or anyone else for that matter.

• Mexico 

The unexpected trip away from my family coz of work brought me deeper friendships. I still look at the photos once a while. I know it wouldn’t happen again, that’s why I cherish those memories even more. 

Thankful for what 2024 has given me. 

Even though the first quarter of 2025 has been filled with MC and slowly getting into the momentum, I will constantly remind myself that I’m better now. I’m doing Okie. 

Whatever is God’s plans for me, I will follow. 

My after thoughts

Penning my thoughts after my solo convention. Decided to go for the convention on my own, coz there were quite a few of my advisers who qualified for the first time. And I wanted to be there with them, despite the fact that William can’t come along. 

I got home sick even before the trip started. The hormones just hit me as I embarked on my >20hrs journey. Cried myself silly that the airline crew came to ask how was I when they noticed that I hardly touched my food. They probably saw the tears and offered me some KitKat! Hahaha.. that was really sweet of them. 

But despite the homesick, the companionship was awesome. Met new friends, got to know some existing ones even better. 

This is the irony of a convention I guess. If I had brought my family along, I wouldn’t have been that home sick, but that would mean I wouldn’t have been to hang out so much with my new found awesome traveling kakis. 

I never thought I would show my vulnerability to people other than JM & J. But here I am happy to forge deeper relationships with these two. 

Grateful for the 3 of them. They tolerated my shortcomings, my inability to read directions; or book an Uber, or simply pack my bags. They embraced my emotional rollercoasters, gave me a safe space when I just needed time alone on my own. It’s not easy to find friends like that, where I can be so comfortable with. Coz I’m not easy to 相处。

I didn’t realize how much I’m going to miss the time we spent together until I started penning this. This trip must have been a gift from God, who send these 3 angels here, so that I could enjoy myself fully as an individual, as me, not mama choo.. 

Doing a mask on the plane and missing the nights where we chatted and put on masks!  We probably did more masks for the whole of this week compared to the last 1yr. 

Looking back at my Mexico photos, I realize we didn’t take that much pictures together. But the memories will always stay with me. Thankful for new found friends. Thankful for stepping out and trying something different.Thank God for everything!

Tapping Out

That was what I wanted to do last night- to tap out, tap out of life, tap out of work, tap out of friends etc. I went into a dark hole. And I was afraid, afraid that I might never walk out of it. My old friend has chosen to come visit when I’m most vulnerable and I could even see it in my eyes. How it’s controlling my mind and allowing it to eat me alive. I even started to think of the different permutations.

It comes and goes. There are days when I feel at peace and in control, but there were also nights when my emotions just overwhelmed me. 

I decided to do something that isn’t typical of me. Which was to go for a company lunch even though know I might end up sitting with unfamiliar faces. Even though it’s tiring to strike up conversations. 

But I went anyways. 

Coz I know I need to put a stop to all these. I need to walk out of my black hole. I need to make new friends. I need rely on the support of my old friends. They are there, there for me. And I know I can reach out and grab their hands if I allow myself to. 

I’m glad I did. Angela came along when she knew that I was coming. So thankful for that. 

We all have our different battles in life. Our challenges. And we can overcome it all, with the support of our loved ones. 

做人很难，做女人肯难

Ever heard of the phrase “Work like you are not a parent and parent like you don’t need to work..” 

I hate this phrase. I hate it when the society expects woman to do that. That if they work, they need to work doubly as hard than mayb their spouse or male counterparts, in order to prove that they are not a liability. And yet, social stigma also expects them to be the 24/7 parent at home, doing the nth things required. 

The last 1 week was mad hectic for me. I’ve forgotten when was the last time I work that hard. I only made it for dinner once for the whole week, a stark contrast to my usual. The new scope and responsibilities meant that I now split my time with my family, my clients, not mentioning the massive among of transfers paperwork I’m also doing and also my new team of advisers. And bcoz I’m new, there are a lot of things that I have to learn. And it was fulfilling too. I think the last week went past with much fulfilment and little drama, for which I’m grateful. 

I miss my kids too. And I think Joash had his way of expressing that by a waking up every night at 3am to request for a feed and asking me to sleep next to him. I obliged coz I was having lotsa mum-guilt. And I wish society will give more grace to working Mothers , that we will feel less guilty when we work hard. 

This was the day when I was having so much on my plate that JM went with me for a drink. Thankful for friends 🥰

happy cny!

Did our first cny hosting at our new place.. was nice to have such gatherings again..

when we were more youthful - feb 2016

The last time we had it was in 2016, when we were still at our HDB. Coz it was impossible to host it at Jewel. And also bcoz it was difficult to invite some without offending others. There, I said it. The hard truth. It was less complicated when we were younger, when we were friends rather than colleagues. And as the company expands, differences enter and sometimes it's just difficult for all to be on the same page la.. that's the main reason why we stopped hosting. Coz it was just too tiring to please everyone. 

But 2020, i decided that heck la.. for anything to change, I shall change first. Even though it might b a tiny tiny step towards change, I  shall do what pleases me..lol..and my minuscule contribution towards improving ties/friendships. 

I'm thankful for all who has made a footprint in my life, and even though I'm not a friend-keeper, I'm thankful for the friendships forged, some stronger than before, some long forgotten.. well, it's time to change what I can change, and move forward.. 😘😘😘

It's hard to say goodbyes.

I saw her from the corner of my table and shortly after, she walked over.  With a chocolate cupcake and a short note, she came over and told me that she's leaving. I actually only knew abt it a few days earlier that she has left. It did break my 💔 when I first heard the news. Questions like why did she quit? Certainly we can still do this job a little bit while focusing on the little one, or like perhaps we can juz hold the advisory license for a little bit longer til things settled? To the eventual why didn't she say goodbye to me before she left ? And the list go on la.. 

I didn't know I would be that affected. After all, being here for 14 yrs, many people have come and left. When we first started, there were only 12 of us in the  team, and now, only me and J are ard. Maybe bcoz it's the emo week, mayb it's bcoz I juz faced a client-misunderstanding-issue (resolved at press time, thank God!); or maybe it's becoz I admire her courage to leave and pursue her dreams or maybe I'm juz needed a reason to feel emo..

Anyway, I was really glad that she came back today, so that I could say goodbye to her, to hold and to hug her. She told me her reasons of leaving, and the peace God gave her when she finally made her mind. I know, I knew, it was final. And I'm happy for her. I could see the smile in her eyes  when she told me. 

We said our goodbyes and before I know it, she had already left the office.. perhaps this would be the last time I see her here..I saw her transformation, from a young lady to being a Christian, getting married and becoming a confident mama. Wishing you all the best in yr future pursuits my dear.. praying that God continue to guide you in His ways. 

On Friends & Meet Ups

               Recently a friend whom I haven't seen for > 8 yrs, contacted me again. She suggested doing lunch around my office area, just to catch up. It sounded very strange to me; for someone whom I haven't met for so long, to not only re-establish contact, but also offered a meet up at a place of my convenience. The skeptical me immediately rise all alerts, but agreed nonetheless coz she was a pretty close friend from the old days. The initial thoughts were either:

1. She's going to sell me something
2. She has an incurable disease and simply want to touch base with everyone before she leaves this world
3. She wanna know more about my work

It was none of the above. She simply wholeheartedly wanted to reconnect! I felt so bad with all my evil thoughts!

The last time I saw her during Joy's babyshower. And that was also after not seeing her for several years and when I gave birth, she texted me, just to offer some helpful tips on parenting & words of encouragement. But I didn't manage to see her after that gathering. Why not? I'm not sure either. Probably I was too engrossed with parenting and my work that I forgot? But I was thankful that she took the 1st step; to reconnect back. The lunch was good, simply reminiscing on old days and catching up on who's with who etc. It felt like we didn't part. And I guess friends from school are always special, coz they represent the times when we were still innocent, unpolluted by the desires of the world.

In fact, I was overwhelmed by her love for me. :) I mean, as one ages, friends' worthy ones, become lesser. Everyone's busy with their own stuff, and being nice with no hidden agenda seem rare. There always seem to have some strings attached. But today, I met someone from the past, someone who was pure and innocent, someone who simply wanted to catch up, as we try to recall bits & pieces of memories. Things that we did in the past seem so childish now, even though it meant the world to us back then.

Thankful for finding a gem today. THankful that she chose to take that 1st step (coz i wouldn't dare). She told me also that she contacted another friend (whom I'm still meeting up regularly), and that friend says to meet her only after july! Wow! I wouldn't have the courage to accept such replies!

Here's a pic of us then, and now. Can't rem when was the then, but I believe it was a school trip to M'sia.