Happy birthday to me!

Decided to pen a letter to myself on my bday. After all that has happened in 2025, I’ve learnt to be a little kinder to myself. 

Dearest 我，

生日快乐🎂！I’ve grown so much over the last 3yrs. 

July is my bday month and it’s also my work anniversary as a leader. So every July feels a lot more; more grateful; more loved; more fulfilled. ❤️

What more do I want for myself? In the next 6mths, 1yr, 3yrs and even 5yrs?

I want to be able to live each day with purpose and ❤️, to be able to be a lighthouse for the people around me. 

我长大了。不再每次自责 or butcher myself for every mistake that happened. 

我要过得更充实，更开心。

Grateful to God for all the blessings He has given me. 🤗

感恩

 The wedding party ended. It was much better than I ever imagined!

Grateful that we managed to pull it off, with a lot of help and love from our friends. 

My heart is filled with so much ❤️❤️❤️

Even though uncle choo didn’t want to do a 20th party, he still went ahead and did so much prep work so that I would be happy. 

Seeing him, and seeing the love of our friends, I’m grateful. Grateful that we created core beautiful memories today. 

I’m going to look at these photos again and again, cause never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined this. 

The wedding I had 20yrs ago, had a lot of expectations. I wanted to please everyone, and I forgot who I invited. 

But today, those who came, are people whom I treasure deeply. 

I even had a round 2, not because I had to but coz I want to. 

Coz it’s not tiring when u can hang out w friends who doesn’t mind if I hibernate.. hahahah.. friends whom I’m v comfortable and casual w.. 

感恩🥹

Happy Mothers Day!

This must be the most number of bouquets I’ve received in a week! 

No I’m not showing off. Just super grateful for the love showered by many. 

孩子好像长大了。 I even got a bouquet from Joy too!

I don’t quite remember when was the last time she bought flowers for me.. usually Mothers Day meant bringing the kids out for a meal, or they would write a card for me.. 

But this week, they have all given me gifts in their own special ways. 

Grace baked cream puffs which were so nice… 

Vera volunteered to take care of Joash.. they are so lovely dovely that they wanted to nap today.. and that explains why I can’t nap on my bed 🤣🤣🤣

Joash made bf for me this morning! And he even told me that he would take the train to his swim class, so that I can take the morning off to REST! 

感恩小朋友好像真的长大了。就算只有今天，我也很感谢🥹

Awwwwwwww my heart is filled with gratitude. 

William even send a second bouquet of flowers today, so that I wouldn’t be lonely.

 Few more days before he comes back from his sabbatical. Looking forward! 

Thank you for letting me be yr mama all these years! 

They will be 14 tomorrow. How time flies. 

I remember how those early days were - always overwhelmed; always exhausted; always tired and even if I wanted to fight with Uncle, using that time to sleep felt more important. 

The days are long but the years short. 

I guess there is some truth to it. 

Grace was just reminding me recently that the current house is the only house where vera and her stuff wasn’t thrown out of the house! lol…  those years had been so hard, coz she is as stubborn as me; more sensitive / emo than me; and more whiny.. it’s like Lena 2.0. 

Recently it’s nice to just hug and cuddle her. I think I might invite her to my bed when William goes for his sabbatical break. 

I’m not a perfect mom. We fight so much then. I/We cried so much; either together or alone on my bed. 

Thankful that even though things aren’t perfect, we make it thru. 

One of the rare times where I'm not rushing to anywhere.. not trying to reply to 101 emails/whatsapp or having 200 things trying to check it away. 

I'm in a nice Mexican cafe, waiting for my my work-kid to come over for lunch.. she's not late. I'm early.

The first quarter just flew past. I didn't even remember what kept me so busy. I didn't even had that many appts to be honest. 

Today is a great day, sun is out. I had a morning work zoom, that I thought i should have prepared for more. But what's done is done. Then this work lunch with my kid, then 3pm client appt. 

Thankful that this period has been quite peaceful, not mad hectic. 

I even went for a networking lunch yesterday and did lotsa of recording in office..lol.. I see an improvement over time, but i also noticed a drop in energy after doing it for too much.hahahah.. work in progress.. 

Growth is uncomfortable, but I'm thankful that I get to try new things, appreciate life.

Today is good.

Peaceful Easter Weekend

This is by far one of the most peaceful Easter weekends I ever had.. i remember for the longest time when the girls were little, the long weekend often meant many meltdowns, endless cryings and battles after battles.. i tried to search on my blog, but i probably can't find it. Just a snippet of Easter here

Anyway this weekend, I went to NUS with joy.. the last time i was here with her was 9 yrs ago! And I drove past that college today too..How time flies when that NUS visit was initiated by her school back then to encourage the kids to be motivated to study hard so that they can go to a better university when they grow up.. 

Now that kid has grown up. She's going for her BMT on Tuesday, and overseas uni in Sep.. that little bun.. my little baby..

Uncle Choo whipped up a feast today.. as a farewell treat for the firstborn ba.. 

But little did I know that as I was chatting with him at the end of the dinner, he was overwhelmed with emotions.. 

"I'm not ready for her next phrase of life.." he said softly..

My quiet giant.. 🥹🥹🥹

I know he's proud of her. I am too. And even though we are proud of her achievements, and how sensible she has blossomed over the years, this moment is HARD. She made us parents first.. its as if she's our first teacher..lol.. 

Praying that God continue to guide her in her next season, that God comfort my CEO, that he has peace in his heart. 

THank you Jesus for everything! Amen!

Lena’s Travels

And this wraps up our 1-1 mama daughter trip. 

Thankful to be able to spend this week with my young adult, before she starts her next chapter. 

I’m a proud mama, even though she always feels that I’m not supportive of career choices. 

I guess, it’s something I need to learn, learn to let go, learn to set her free, to fly like a bird. 

My heart is full. I’m grateful for this opportunity to hold her, to let her take care of me, before her heart has other “contestants”. Hahahahhaha! 

Where did my little bean go? We stayed in a tiny boutique hotel on our Tokyo extension and had to squeeze on a tiny bed. She was uncomfortable with sharing, but I was delighted. Hahahah.. I jokingly reminded her that she used to only be able sleep on my arm. There were many nights where sleeping meant carrying a 10 kg baby and singing “twinkle twinkle” til I see stars.. hahahha.. 

感恩你长大了，这么优秀，这么会照顾别人。 我希望你能记得要好好照顾自己，也希望在不久的将来你也会找到一个会照顾你一辈子的人。

妈妈永远爱你 ❤️

新年

At 88, if the growing up fears/insecurities were not resolved, it will continue to surface even at this age. 

And this is my MIL. 

It’s Saturday and William is hosting his cousins and relatives. He has to pick her up before 4pm so that the party will start. And the plan is for Joash to nap with me during this period, so that both of us have enough battery before it starts. 

Just as we woke up, and I asked Joash to go out to greet his grandma, this was what happened:

Mil: “Why didn’t you come pick me up? Is it u don’t love me anymore?” 

Joash: probably a stunned look. 

To be honest, I was really triggered hearing this in my room. 

My thoughts playing in my head: 

“Yes, my son loves me more, you have any problem?” 

“What the f*** did u have to say this to my son?”

And the list goes on. 

At this moment, I wanted to just head to church. Coz the girls had a choice of choosing church or stay home to host. And I presume I could too. 

🥹🥹🥹

And this was going thru my mind the whole time. 

I wanted to leave for church. Let me change. 

As I was changing, I was reminded by how the man loved me and doing this (even if he allow, would put him in a fix). 

Hiding in the room while I could hear the loud loud chattering happening outside. 

I decide to honor my man, decide to be nice. Decide that no matter the triggers, I choose to be here for my man. 

It’s also a reminder that I should confront all my fears and insecurities now at 45 and not let it drag til old age. 

She’s my motivation to grow old to be a 快乐老人。

How much is a litre of confidence?

I talked abt this several times on my blog. 

https://pigletchoo.blogspot.com/2023/12/lessons.html?m=1

Looking back, I’m definitely more confident now compared to 2yrs ago. 

And I’m happy where I am now. 

I’m thankful I didn’t surrender when things felt overwhelming.

I’m thankful for the opportunity to grow, and grow tremendously which I didn’t expect. 

I’m thankful to have my band of cheerleaders who stood by me, waiting to just give me a hug whenever I feel like crying. You know who u are. 

On a personal note, I finally decided to hold a celebration for our 20th wedding anniversary. It’s been on my mind since my 10th anniversary, but I got lazy/distracted/overwhelmed. 

And then a whimsical trip to JB, I found myself wanting to do it again. Cause 20 yrs is a milestone. 

”我不知道我们还会有多一个20年吗？” that was what I told uncle Choo.. 

Thoughts of death or even the vulnerability of marriage kept lingering in my mind. 

So I decided, let’s do it! 

Looking for a venue to do a small cozy little party for now. 

Hope I wouldn’t give up and cancel it by the next post! Hahahaha.. 

Reflections 2025

Had wanted to book a date with myself again, in a cafe and do my annual reflections, but time spaced me out. 

Nonetheless there are so many things to be grateful for in 2025.

1. My kids and I survived 2025! 🎉 looking back, we more than survived! We SLAYED!!! 

Relationships got better. I had more time with everyone, except grace. The last couple of weeks kinda reminded me that I really should spend more time with her. 

2. My marriage. Thankful that God protected and guarded over our marriage. We got lazy over the years, but I’m thankful that we managed to talk abt it and putting more effort into it now.

 

3. Work. If you ask me 2 years ago, if I would be able to lead and grow the IWM today, or to even lead with such confidence, I wouldn’t have thought possible. Ever so grateful that I stepped into this unfamiliar turf, and grew so much! Learnt so much over the last 1 year and got so fulfilled growing with them. Even if I were to drop dead today, I’m thankful for all that I’ve done. Hahaha.. morbid but ya. 

4. My work kids. The final figures aren’t out yet, but I know the few that has confirmed hitting their best year ever. Proud mama moment. 

So thankful for the opportunity to lead, inspire and touch lives. God, I’m so grateful for you, for sending angels to guard over me, when I was fearful, when I was tempted, when I was unsure. God, I pray that You continue to lead me, as I lead your sheep, so that more can come to know you. In Jesus name I pray, amen! 

Even when she’s still grieving, she doesn’t show it at all. 

She continues to show up to be the 大姐for her siblings, to help jaga Joash while William is out for his gathering. I know she’s crying inside and her way is to bury it so that we wouldn’t worry about her. I wished she wouldn’t hide it.

God, thank you for sending joy to us. I pray that you lead us in this journey as she seeks you, that we remember of your faithfulness everyday, every part of this journey. I pray that when one door closes, you will open the right doors for her. God I bring that You bring hope to her, that she be reminded that in everything You are in control. 

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12‬:‭9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

BBQ on a hot Monday afternoon

The ladies came over and we had a great time chatting. Never thought that we would click so well. 

I thought my closest friends would just be J&Jm but 缘分 pulled us together closer. 

It’s funny coz towards the end of the party I was already on hibernate mode and they noticed it and suggested leaving. Hahahha.. but I was fine w them chilling by. Just that I was too tired to make any conversations. 

Thankful for the friendship. ❤️❤️❤️

It’s especially cute to see the toddlers able to play well with each other too.