Weaning #4

Did I say that I manage to wean her off my breasts in feb this year ? This was after my Cape Town trip , which was a bittersweet moment coz I had tried a long time to wean her off but each time my heart juz melted and relented.. it was only bcoz of the long trip , thus when I got back, even though she still wanted I said no to her. . I guess it was easier coz I had a 5 days break away fr her.. she was 22 mths then ..

Fast forward to now.. I'm back to weaning her off again. . This time off the bottles coz despite being 27 months alrdy , she is still waking up at least once , if not twice a night for feeds. Vera, on the other hand, has started to sleep thru a mth earlier.  It was a struggle and still is (coz the battle is still ongoing ) bcoz if I give her the bottle she probably go back to sleep within the next 5- 10 mins. It took me 2 hrs to convince her to zzz back without a milk feed, and an hr last night.. I'm praying that today will be a complete sleep thru ..

It probably is a gd time to wean her off. . Honestly I think it's kinda overdue .. besides a fren who's child only zz thru at 3 yr old , Grace is probably the oldest "newborn" waking up every 3 hr... I was telling a client abt my situation and she too felt tt Grace is over age .. haha..

Praying for God ' s strength as I battle on for the next few days. . Praying that Grace sleep thru  coz both of us really need uninterrupted sleep , I guess. .

One of those emo days

Have you ever had days when u wondered why things doesn't seem to be working out for u ? Today is one of those days.. I had a couple of appts and all ended up with a NO .. Some of the appts were a Not yet while one of it was NO..

I'm sad not becoz I failed to close the case and earn my comms. . Of coz I will be worried in that context but today I'm worried coz I failed to convince the client who is a sole breadwinner to get even a term policy to insure himself in the event he meets any mishaps.. I'm disappointed with myself coz he has 2 v young kids.. I wondered if it was bcoz I had not tried hard enough , mayb coz I wasn't desperate enough , mayb I wasn't pushy enough.. Mayb today I was defeated even before he said no.. A lot of maybes.. One of the times when I'm not sure if letting him have his way was the right thing for him .. what if things didn't happened as planned ?

One of those days whereby I felt that I failed as a consultant to help others .. One of those days when I can only pray and rely on God that He knows best for everyone .. and that I tried my best , my very best to do what I felt right for my clients .. that is my philosophy fr day one.. to be a financial adviser to help others. .

God , I know You place me here for a purpose .. I pray that You give me the wisdom and words to speak to my clients and the people I meet . I pray that You help me guide them, I pray also that You guard my heart , that it remain truthful and committed in serving You. I pray that You guide me in all ways Lord,  in Jesus name I pray , amen !

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
- Psalms 139 23-24

On the lesson of telling lies

Ever since joy entered primary 1 , I've caught her telling lies on 3 separate occasions . It was hard breaking when it happened the 1st time , and it was over something very trivial.. We went thru the scoldings and canings too and still the lying didn't stop ..

Today was the 3rd time it happened and it was a back to back lying incident. . I saw her using a different 2B pencil compared to the ones we bought and upon asking her , she said that it was a gift fr a fren.. Further investigation found out that it was something she picked up at her sch " Lost & Found " section .. next I found a packet of sweets in her bag and this same packet actually belonged to a friend of mine who came over last week.. when I asked her who gave her the sweets , she say her friend again. . This time I totally lost it. . Both of us totally lost it. .

I was devastated , by how well she can tell lies one after another. . She was in a break out saying that she no longer loves me , wanna leave this place , blah blah blah. . It's heart wreaking when this comes from my firstborn , the one I pride myself as giving the most attention to in her first 5 years and even till now.. The one I pride myself as always being there for her everything , the one I pride myself never to even use iPhone or its kind for any kind of parenting. .

Coming fr my own background where caning is always the only solution , I know that i can't use the same approach any more . I'm learning yet whenever I seem to have advanced 2 steps ahead , an incident like this always sets me back to ground zero. Who is this girl that I thought I know?

Praying that God give me the wisdom and a lot of patience to guide the girls. .

Grace first hospital stay

Juz last week grace was admitted to hospital for the first time. . To be honest , having been parents for 7 years , we are so blessed that this is our 1st time staying in the hospital.. haha.. something that I'm so grateful for..

It was a gd learning experience for me and uncle pig and we were also so grateful Joy, who showed such maturity in taking care of her younger sisters - Vera who is at home and playing with grace when she came to visit her.. 

Anyway I'm thankful that it was nothing serious. I'm thankful that God was with us throughout the journey and that by the end of this entry , Grace has recovered and is back to sch. . God is so good , all the time. .

P/s: I'm using a new app to blog recently. . Thanks to jm who showed me.. haha.. blogging is much easier now and I hope I can blog more often ! Thanks jm !

My birthday celebration 2014

Had wanted to compose this earlier but bcoz grace was hospitalised almost immediately after my bday, I didn't had the time to blog abt it..

I didn't expect much this year coz we had agreed to a no frills bday celebration a few years ago.. Honestly when one reach the 30s, what's most impt is a companion for life, rather than the material things in the world.. nevertheless I was caught by surprise when he planned a bday surprise , tog with my colleagues. .

We were shopping in the morning at raffles city before leaving for our lunch venue. . I was on blindfold ! Yes, to the lunch place .. yes , and the cute couple shirt? He made me wear it that morning. . Lol.. its nice to c him fuss over me on my special day.. thanking God for giving him and the children to me.. and the wonderful colleagues who took time to come..

Till death do us part ?

10th Jul 2014
A recent lunch date with a close friend revealed that her marriage was having some issues. She had initially hesitated not to let me know coz knowing that I'm an emo - kia,  she feels that I won't be able to cope with it. How true is that . I find it astonishing , not to mention the fact that I had always find her to be a capable wife handling the household , the kids and also her work. It seems to be a happy family ever after kind of thing ..

Maybe there aren't any more happily ever after kind of stories anymore .. maybe infidelity is more common than cancer nowadays.  It seems that it's rarer for spouse to remain truthful and committed to each other tat my fren started to think of reasons why her hubby strayed , the blaming of oneself started. . but one thing was certain - she was calmer and rational than me. Given my personality , I probably will go to the workplace and make a scene.. but she didn't. . She gave the hubby 2 choices. . That they continue to be "Co - partners " in the family, to bring up the kids and separate 20 yrs later. He could continue his activities outside and she wont meddle with it...Or if he wants , they could divorce now..
When she told me all these I was pretty shocked that she could rationalise and think as a businessman. I was sad for her but maybe coz this is not my first divorce story that I've heard , I was calmer too.. though still deeply affected. 

Is fidelity extinct nowadays ? What happened to the marriage vows we took on D - day? For better or worse , till death do us part? I checked the statistics online and based on 2012, the no of divorces were abt 25% of the marriages in that year. . That seems to be quite low considering the stats ard my circle..

I was perturbed and even had a fever when I got back ! Well, praying for all married couples to guard their marriages like a hawk and to always always not take the union for granted. .