Lessons

Almost 5 months into the job, it has been a whirlwind of emotions. There are still many things to learn and pick up. But there are a few impt things that I wanna remind myself of, so I wouldn’t end up killing myself. 

Lesson #1: It is okay not to know everything. When unsure, just clarify / check before offering an answer. 

This was taught to me when I was a young adviser. The principle was simple. Instead of giving wrong info, just inform the client that you will get back to him / her. And make sure you revert back within the stipulated time. I guess a part of me have forgotten abt this long ago. 

Fast forward 20yrs, and now I have a group of advisers who are also my “clients” so to say. I need to remind myself that for qns that I already knew the answer, I will reply accordingly. For qns that I’m unsure of, it is okie to let them know that I will either check for them. Or I can empower them to check and update the group. 

There were instances I do feel crippled when I don’t have the answers on the spot. Like oh my 天, why don’t I know?! Oh why didn’t I ask this before etc? 

Sometimes I’m happy when they ask.  Coz at least this means they are working. 

Lesson #2: Tend to my own garden. 

There is no need to be the fomo manager or guilt trip myself when I’m not giving the same things to my babies. Every manager is different. And each have their own strengths. I might not be strong in certain areas but there are things that I can bring to the table to enhance my babies skills. 

People whom I’m close to, will know how hard this is for me. To believe in myself. I always said this - “I wish they sell confidence by the bottle.” Sometimes I look at some advisers / managers, and I wonder “他们哪来的勇气！” 

I save this link https://fb.watch/l6E0aQMzPk/?mibextid=jf9HGS  so that I can re-watch it whenever I go into a panic attack (which can happen quite frequently nowadays coz I’m heading FG every mth plus the massive training once every quarter)

Lesson #3: Don’t be so affected by what I see on social media/ people’s remarks 

Not everything on social media is real. A lot of things are quite on the contrary. Sometimes certain comments just get me triggered and it frustrates me when this happens. Like I could see a bomb about to explode and as much as I remind myself not to, I still get triggered. It frustrates me when I hear certain comments made, knowing that these people don’t feel that way. Like how fake can these people can. (Sorry God,I’m not a saint.) I 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 every time I hear certain remarks. And i know I’m not professional. Argh. This is a work in progress thing that is interlink with 2). 

Lesson #4: Set protected time 

These couple of mths, I’ve noticed that my work appts / emails have been creeping into my usual family time. Like coming sun morning I have a 9am zoom bcoz clients can only make it this time and I’m traveling (again) next week. I need to be more strict abt my family time. The hectic work quarter is over. Now work should be kept strictly during working time zones. 

I think that’s all for now. 

4 months

 

This was what I wrote in may, when I was deciding my Ys. I knew that it had to be convincing, otherwise I would fall and crumple when I met with obstacles. I knew that I needed something to refer to, to remind me of why I wanted to do this. And this week was one of those weeks where I needed an extra reminder. 

Nothing major happened. It was just exhausting. Tired of working past 11pm every night, tired of having to open my laptop on weekends. I know I can choose not to reply those emails on weekends, but it will just snowballed to Mon which make things even worse. Tired of having to mingle with colleagues whom I hardly know just few mths ago, and trying my best to understand them and make their working here a little bit better. This isn’t the usual me - having to step out of my comfort zone to know new people, make small talk. I honestly do wanna make their working life a bit better if I can, but it’s tiring to mingle and make small talk, if u get what I mean. And then there’s tons of working partners who wanna do coffee/trainings/ whatever that I’ve been trying so hard to turn down. And this is me, 4mths into the new job. 

Will I finally get used to this? Will I find my balance between family, management and personal sales? I wished I wouldn’t feel like drowning every single day. I wish God give me the right balance in all 3 areas, the right mentality to cope with all these challenges. 

I’m like the fomo manager, always worried that I’m not doing enough for my team. If other managers are giving xxx to their team, I start thinking of ways to provide the same for my babies too. And it’s exhuasting. Angela says that I should have more confidence in my leadership. I wish they sell it over the counter or during the Black Friday sale. Hahaha.. 

People say what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. I hope I will arrive at that stage soon. 

Busy week

If I had said that Last week was hectic, I was wrong. Coz this week, I was crazy enough to fix so many appts, be it face to face or over zoom; clients or with my new found babies. I had a total of 23 appts, conducted my first team meeting, attended a director meeting and also went to the gym twice! 

Crazy it is. And in the midst of it, I still had to approve the cases my babies submitted, prepare for my own appts. Vera and Joash were also down with influenza too. 

I’m glad this week is over soon. Weekend is here and next week seems to be more breathable. (I hope)

Glad that my office babies are starting to work, especially some had a hiatus for a while. 

Today, one of them text me and said he finally close the client which I recently did case study for. I was delighted! I think it gives me more joy then if I were to close my clients. I’m so glad I took up this role, at least if u ask me now. 是开心的，看他们可以达到他们自己的突破，我为他们感到骄傲.

J asked if I had regretted my decision, especially since this week was so overwhelming. It got so bad that I fell asleep at a concert.. hahaha

My answer to her was no. At least not this week. At least not the coaching or training part. When I see them trying their best to go for their appts, and clearing their doubts with me etc. The answer is no, no regrets. It’s fulfilling. And expands my heart. 

Just gotten be mindful of my conduct and my speech. 

做人很难，做女人肯难

Ever heard of the phrase “Work like you are not a parent and parent like you don’t need to work..” 

I hate this phrase. I hate it when the society expects woman to do that. That if they work, they need to work doubly as hard than mayb their spouse or male counterparts, in order to prove that they are not a liability. And yet, social stigma also expects them to be the 24/7 parent at home, doing the nth things required. 

The last 1 week was mad hectic for me. I’ve forgotten when was the last time I work that hard. I only made it for dinner once for the whole week, a stark contrast to my usual. The new scope and responsibilities meant that I now split my time with my family, my clients, not mentioning the massive among of transfers paperwork I’m also doing and also my new team of advisers. And bcoz I’m new, there are a lot of things that I have to learn. And it was fulfilling too. I think the last week went past with much fulfilment and little drama, for which I’m grateful. 

I miss my kids too. And I think Joash had his way of expressing that by a waking up every night at 3am to request for a feed and asking me to sleep next to him. I obliged coz I was having lotsa mum-guilt. And I wish society will give more grace to working Mothers , that we will feel less guilty when we work hard. 

This was the day when I was having so much on my plate that JM went with me for a drink. Thankful for friends 🥰

Change is uncomfortable

So glad it’s finally over. Hahahaa.. pat pat.. no matter how badly I did, or how uncomfortable it was, I’ve finally done it!

Treated myself to some cakes after the event. Was asked to do a short short (3mins) sharing in front of the whole agency. I died. Lol. Coz public speaking and me not friend. Actually speaking in general is exhuasting for me. 

I seriously can’t find a flattering pic of myself. But oh well, hopefully in weeks to come, I’ll look more and more like the me in the screen and not the one on stage…hahaha

I did wanna give up many many times. Like why did I need to step out of my comfort zone, to do something so challenging. After all, just speaking to my clients on its own is a walk in the park nowadays. But I chose to do this, bcoz I sincerely hope to help the next generation of advisers up their skills, so that they can be more confident in front of their clients. Or to provide support whenever they felt like quitting. 

An adviser that used to be under me many years ago, came to talk to me just now during the lunch. She is happy that I’m taking up a mgmt role, she felt that I’m more than ready and capable to take on this role. And coming from her, I’m so grateful and humbled. I can’t promise that I wouldn’t like the vulnerable/ emo / insecure me self doubt myself but I’ll try to do the best I can to take charge of my whole emotions. After all, this is the growth I had wanted, the change that I wanted to take on. Change is uncomfortable but it is the only thing that is constant. 

Angela gave me this today. So happy to receive this! Hahaha..she’s one person who have grown so much from a small PA to a capable FA and mother of 3. Someone who wears many hats but never gives herself enough credits.. I love you ya.. 

And not forgetting my small small circle of friends who always reassure me whenever I self doubt myself.