Just wanna record today’s small wins with vera..
This morning, after dropping Joash in school, I saw vera lazing on the sofa; clearly woken up for a while but yet to brush her teeth or change out of her pjs. I asked her ( in my angelic voice ) to brush her teeth. She just whined. And this repeated again for 3 times. The words were on my lips, but I reminded myself of what my friend said - that’s she’s struggling with her big emotions and that I should give her time and a safe space to express her emotions. I waited. I looked her in the eye and told her that if she would like, I could walk with her to the toilet so that she could brush her teeth. She nods. After she was done, I realize it wasn’t clean enough. So I had to tell her to do it AGAIN. She was clearly upset. I stroked her and explained to her that bcoz her teeth are bigger than usual, that’s why she has to take special care to make sure each tooth is thoroughly clean. She whined and whined. I bite my lips (again). I could either react by saying “U are 10 yr old, can u start behaving like one?” Or I can respond by saying “I understand that it’s annoying to have to do it again, but if you would like, mama will hold yr hand and walk to the toilet so that you could brush it again”. I did the latter. To be honest, I am surprised by my own reactions. And I’m going to give myself a pat . It takes extra work and patience. And despite this, she continued to have a few episodes.
Before leaving the house for lunch, I could see her emotions about to erupt again - coz William was doing room cleaning with her and she needed to clean up her clutter. I on the other hand, wanted to brush her hair. While we were brushing her hair, she whine and cried again. Not those big big tears cry but it was soft cry. I asked her why, what happened? She said it was painful. I gave her a hug. I explained to her coz her hair is curly and she seldom comb (bcoz it’s always tangle) and thus we need to comb .. and perhaps we could just trim a little etc. she was okie when I was done and cleaned her snot on me.
Documenting this today to remind myself that I need to be especially sensitive towards my little princess; that my responses towards her could either lead to a bomb explosion or a successful bomb dismantle. My friend says she’s proud of me; that I’ve become a 拆弹专家。
I know this isn’t going to be the last of such incidents but I’m thankful for the small win today. She is happy now. She waited for me to b back with my food at the hawker centre while the rest started eating. It’s her way of expressing her love. I know. I love you too my dear princess. We can overcome all these together!
