Ever since our quarrel tat day , uncle pig has been treating me extremely well.. On mon we went for buffet lunch n he offered to go bk home early to tidy the house n cook dinner if I could pick joy bk..n he even did housework!! N on tue he offered to exercise w me, followed by Pirates of the Carribean (Gold Class!!) ... Much as I'm enjoying all the attention n time spend, it juz made me more anxious abt his biz.. Is he able to even cope w it or is he doing the "be a good lover" for these 4 mths n hopefully I will give him some leeway?
So guilty tt I even hv these thoughts... Arrgh.. Much as I'm trying juz to enjoy this moment together w him, I can't stop worrying for him.. Such is the paradox of women.. Complain when the men forgets , but worry if theres another agenda when he treats u slightly better .. Okie gotten stop here coz movies starting
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Lunchie
Had lunch with one of my ex-colleagues last week.. She's in a similar situation as me , juz tat she's juz beginning to start to her course of fertility treatments while I've already at almost the end of it.. Thot I met up w her to lend her some support n encouragement..
Besides the fertility medicine, she's only taking an injection per cycle.. Not really intrusive yet n really at the tip of the cycle I told her.. I also shared w her the technical as well as emotional parts of it when I was at her stage.. Right now, she's juz feeling ultra emo abt the whole thing, which is something I can completely relate to! She asked how did I even survive the whole of the 2 yrs juz trying when it seems so difficult for time to pass each cycle.. I'm relieved .. Not relieved tat she's going thru it now.. But relieved tat this is really a thing of the past for me.. Tat I can relate as a bystander n not as one who's still in it.. It juz seem only recently tat I was like her.. Waiting.. Waiting for it to happen.. Ovulation.. Then the test.. Then ovulation n the cycle repeats again n again.. Such tat we give up almost every other thing in life juz for it to happen.. Not exercising for fear tat the embroy might not b stable ; not traveling ; not willing to expand my biz, not changing joy's bed (coz if no.2 were to come along, then maybe a double deck bed would be more practical) and the many many things that we daren't do coz if no.2 were to come along.. blah blah blah...I'm juz thankful tat in the midst of my frustration n struggles, God was always there for me.. Tat He drops a verse or two juz to brighten my spirits up, tat He drops angels ard me to comfort me when I needed them.. He was there all the time n to which I was truly grateful.
I juz pray now for thus friend of mine, tat she be strong n draw close to God in the midst of this.. Coz much as we r in similar situations, she juz felt tat God shldnt hv subject us to such agony esp when we were willing parents to b; like y cant God juz give infertility to pple who don't even wanna hv kids n those who want , let them hv plentiful w/o difficulties.. To which I share w her James 1: 2-4, which im glad tat I always kept it in my hp..
Lord, I juz pray tat she will look to you in all situations ba.. Coz much as i wanna share, lord I pray tat u open her ears n heart, tat she know tat in all situations , we should know tat it is in Yr plans n even though we don't understand now, what will b achieved is tat we will grow to be stronger n better .. - Amen
- which reminds me tat I should blog abt another sermon tat I attended recently.. Will b posting tat shortly.. Hehe...
Besides the fertility medicine, she's only taking an injection per cycle.. Not really intrusive yet n really at the tip of the cycle I told her.. I also shared w her the technical as well as emotional parts of it when I was at her stage.. Right now, she's juz feeling ultra emo abt the whole thing, which is something I can completely relate to! She asked how did I even survive the whole of the 2 yrs juz trying when it seems so difficult for time to pass each cycle.. I'm relieved .. Not relieved tat she's going thru it now.. But relieved tat this is really a thing of the past for me.. Tat I can relate as a bystander n not as one who's still in it.. It juz seem only recently tat I was like her.. Waiting.. Waiting for it to happen.. Ovulation.. Then the test.. Then ovulation n the cycle repeats again n again.. Such tat we give up almost every other thing in life juz for it to happen.. Not exercising for fear tat the embroy might not b stable ; not traveling ; not willing to expand my biz, not changing joy's bed (coz if no.2 were to come along, then maybe a double deck bed would be more practical) and the many many things that we daren't do coz if no.2 were to come along.. blah blah blah...I'm juz thankful tat in the midst of my frustration n struggles, God was always there for me.. Tat He drops a verse or two juz to brighten my spirits up, tat He drops angels ard me to comfort me when I needed them.. He was there all the time n to which I was truly grateful.
I juz pray now for thus friend of mine, tat she be strong n draw close to God in the midst of this.. Coz much as we r in similar situations, she juz felt tat God shldnt hv subject us to such agony esp when we were willing parents to b; like y cant God juz give infertility to pple who don't even wanna hv kids n those who want , let them hv plentiful w/o difficulties.. To which I share w her James 1: 2-4, which im glad tat I always kept it in my hp..
Lord, I juz pray tat she will look to you in all situations ba.. Coz much as i wanna share, lord I pray tat u open her ears n heart, tat she know tat in all situations , we should know tat it is in Yr plans n even though we don't understand now, what will b achieved is tat we will grow to be stronger n better .. - Amen
- which reminds me tat I should blog abt another sermon tat I attended recently.. Will b posting tat shortly.. Hehe...
Monday, May 30, 2011
Life choices
It's gonna be a looooong entry n u've been warned...
It's been such a long time since I wrote abt anything.. N there's so many things tt I wanna blog abt..
Mayb I shall blog on the ultra major quarrel / discussion of my life.. It may sound amusing now but we've went thru many sessions lor n I'm sure when sept comes it will b another round of intense emotions...
??? Haven bakery has always been a baby of uncle pig.. N all along I've been pretty supportive of it.. Irregardless of whether if it brought in a decent income.. Until when our dear family oriented man kept doing non - work related things during official HB hrs.. To the extent it really pissed me off.. Coz I can keep nagging at him on sun when he says he gotta run errands on mon n can't wk n this can KEEP Repeating for 5 sundays!! It's frustrating coz I sound like a broken record or I'm always the "off" person not allowing him to do this n tat..
So abt a few weeks ago, I told him tat he actually has 3 options :
A) employer/ entrepreneur of HB
- he has flexibility of time n orders taking, promotions n whatsoever but he will hv to manage his own expenses
B) employee
- fixed wkg hrs, fixed salary, no control on the kind of orders coz as long as I feel tat the order is reasonable / profitable then he has to accept it.
- juz like a normal person doing normal job tasks
C) Home maker
- this was only thrown to him last week coz I seriously feel tat if HB can't even afford to give him a decent income, then y shld he b wasting his time there?
- Y shld he spent his Fridays, Saturdays on the orders? N y shld I sacrifice my Sat for him? It doesn't make any biz sense coz here I am, giving him a fixed salary, but bcoz of this, I need to hire another part-time cleaner; find baby sitter arrangment on sat n blah blah...
I mean if tats the case then I rather he juz stayed at home so tat the house willb cleaned , I get clean , ironed clothes n home cooked food!! I don't really needy hubby to hv a promising career coz I feel tat being a homemaker might b the best for him since he's always a family oriented person... But if today he wants to concentrate on his "career" then I will b the supportive wife n b behind him.. But then the career muz give him a reasonable amt of wages.. Otherwise it didn't make any economic sense..
This may sound unpleasing to the ear but these are hard facts tt we need to face in life.. We all need to earn a living to breathe right?
So yes, despite all the hard truths , I told him my thoughts.. N much as it seem a pity to close down HB (if he chose option C) , that's a fact of life.. At least his time can juz b divided bet joy n I.. Haha.. N not with another competitor!
His reply consist of a few parts..
1) he was not aware abt my kpi expectations , which I told him tat I've said it to him many many times..
2) moving forward he will work fr 11am- 6pm for HB and come bk do the household chores.. Until HB manages to pay him a decent income ..
3) give him freedom to manage till our rental lease expires in sep '11 n by then he would hv a gd gauge on which option to take.. Which I agreed..
Although I was a little concerned.. What if really can't manage then really close? Isn't tt a pity? Haha.. Aiya but I shall leave it to God n him ba.. If he did his best n really it's not profitable then also not a bad choice mah.. Plus if I don't push him, he will nv b motivated n have the desire to excel ah..
- reminded myself again tat man has to do his best n let God do the rest..
I'm glad to finally get it off my chest.. It's been bothering me for weeks.. N I'm thankful tat despite everything tat I've said to uncle pig, it remains professional.. No hard feelings.. Haha.. I can't imagine another person taking it as well as him.. Yes tats y im thankful for him.. N I hope tat as a couple we will be able to cover each other's blindspots n complement each other...
S0, we shall see how it goes in sept... Mixed feelings.. But we shall c la
It's been such a long time since I wrote abt anything.. N there's so many things tt I wanna blog abt..
Mayb I shall blog on the ultra major quarrel / discussion of my life.. It may sound amusing now but we've went thru many sessions lor n I'm sure when sept comes it will b another round of intense emotions...
??? Haven bakery has always been a baby of uncle pig.. N all along I've been pretty supportive of it.. Irregardless of whether if it brought in a decent income.. Until when our dear family oriented man kept doing non - work related things during official HB hrs.. To the extent it really pissed me off.. Coz I can keep nagging at him on sun when he says he gotta run errands on mon n can't wk n this can KEEP Repeating for 5 sundays!! It's frustrating coz I sound like a broken record or I'm always the "off" person not allowing him to do this n tat..
So abt a few weeks ago, I told him tat he actually has 3 options :
A) employer/ entrepreneur of HB
- he has flexibility of time n orders taking, promotions n whatsoever but he will hv to manage his own expenses
B) employee
- fixed wkg hrs, fixed salary, no control on the kind of orders coz as long as I feel tat the order is reasonable / profitable then he has to accept it.
- juz like a normal person doing normal job tasks
C) Home maker
- this was only thrown to him last week coz I seriously feel tat if HB can't even afford to give him a decent income, then y shld he b wasting his time there?
- Y shld he spent his Fridays, Saturdays on the orders? N y shld I sacrifice my Sat for him? It doesn't make any biz sense coz here I am, giving him a fixed salary, but bcoz of this, I need to hire another part-time cleaner; find baby sitter arrangment on sat n blah blah...
I mean if tats the case then I rather he juz stayed at home so tat the house willb cleaned , I get clean , ironed clothes n home cooked food!! I don't really needy hubby to hv a promising career coz I feel tat being a homemaker might b the best for him since he's always a family oriented person... But if today he wants to concentrate on his "career" then I will b the supportive wife n b behind him.. But then the career muz give him a reasonable amt of wages.. Otherwise it didn't make any economic sense..
This may sound unpleasing to the ear but these are hard facts tt we need to face in life.. We all need to earn a living to breathe right?
So yes, despite all the hard truths , I told him my thoughts.. N much as it seem a pity to close down HB (if he chose option C) , that's a fact of life.. At least his time can juz b divided bet joy n I.. Haha.. N not with another competitor!
His reply consist of a few parts..
1) he was not aware abt my kpi expectations , which I told him tat I've said it to him many many times..
2) moving forward he will work fr 11am- 6pm for HB and come bk do the household chores.. Until HB manages to pay him a decent income ..
3) give him freedom to manage till our rental lease expires in sep '11 n by then he would hv a gd gauge on which option to take.. Which I agreed..
Although I was a little concerned.. What if really can't manage then really close? Isn't tt a pity? Haha.. Aiya but I shall leave it to God n him ba.. If he did his best n really it's not profitable then also not a bad choice mah.. Plus if I don't push him, he will nv b motivated n have the desire to excel ah..
- reminded myself again tat man has to do his best n let God do the rest..
I'm glad to finally get it off my chest.. It's been bothering me for weeks.. N I'm thankful tat despite everything tat I've said to uncle pig, it remains professional.. No hard feelings.. Haha.. I can't imagine another person taking it as well as him.. Yes tats y im thankful for him.. N I hope tat as a couple we will be able to cover each other's blindspots n complement each other...
S0, we shall see how it goes in sept... Mixed feelings.. But we shall c la
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)