What I learnt/did during the Circuit Breaker

Its been abt 6weeks since the start of circuit breaker and if things go on track, it's only 2 more weeks left. To be honest, 6 weeks seem to fly past so fast. I've learnt/done so many interesting things that I wont be doing if it was the normal work schedule.

1) Urban Farming 

- I've grew 3 rounds of bean sprouts thus far. Its probably one of the easier veg to grow and I thought it would b interesting for the girls to see how beans are transformed into a dish in a span of days..

This was my first time doing (then) and the girls got so sick of tao gei for a while that they forbade me to grow so much at one go! I really enjoyed the time when we all just pluck the tao gei together.. lol.. it reminded me of my growing up years when we had to do it..hahah

2) Work emails 

- I managed to download all my work emails and achive them based on each individual client.. yeah! It's one of the good to do tasks but not urgent things that I could clear during the CB..

3) Writing Cards

- When was the last time we wrote a card / letter to a friend? Or made one for them? I took this time to mail out short cards to my friends to wish them Happy Mothers Day.. inspiring mothers whom I wanna thank for guiding me along the way; mummy friends who were in the journey together with me and amazing mothers who I hope to send an encouragement to! By the end of this drive, my hands were aching from the writing..lol.. but it's a small gift of love that I hope my friends would like.. 

4) Zoom 

- By now most Singaporeans would have mastered the use of Zoom / video conferencing. The girls definitely picked up faster but I'm glad I know how too! Also managed to finally mastered screen sharing and do my presentations digitally. Havent close my first sale yet but I know it will come!

5) Digitalizing my drawings into ppt

- I'm a dinosaur.. and most colleagues / clients know that too.. I present with pen and paper and even though I scanned all my drawings, the problem with drawing is i would need to re-draw for each review. Since I had so much time, I converted all my drawings to ppt! Close to 90% of my existing clients..hahaha.. ticked ppt off my list and feeling a huge sense of accomplishment. It's a learning curve for a dinosaur like me, but it wouldn't have been possible if I didnt have so much time to figure out and port all over. 

6) Cross stitch 

- I ordered this when I was done with 2) and I still had 4 or 5 weeks before CB ends. I really wanted to do something for ME. Though i may not know how to bake or cook or do chores, this was one of my fav past time when I was young. I used to do this a lot during sch days but stopped doing when we humans got too engrossed with mandate work activities. I managed to find many designs on qoo10 where it could b shipped easily.

But it was still a pain when I was going thru this. The squares were too small for my eyes and I should have started with an easier design. 2 thoughts went thru my mind while doing it.. I either finish it before the end of CB or risk it being a half completed job for a loooooong time when work "reopens". 

Its finally completed to which I'm thankful. I really enjoyed doing it, after the initial difficulties. It's like my escape away from parenting duties..hahaha..The girls were also curious to learn. So I've ordered new sets for them which has the design printed and hopefully easier for them to learn.

7) Ironing out with Joy

- After that last entry, Joy and I cried so hard that day... words cut deep, especially when it comes from loved ones. I know she doesnt mean it, but we all could learn from this episode. I told her abt my struggles being the sole breadwinner. We all have strengths in different areas, which is something both of us need to know and recognize. I need to be more confident of myself so that such remarks wont hurt me as much. I need to stop doubting myself. She needs to know and learn that her choice of words is a sword. It can kill. And it has alrdy affected her friendships to a certain extent. We both learnt from that episode and if anything, she is even more sticky to me these days..

8) Exercising 

- We started exercising everyday via the exercise videos on YouTube bcoz Joy has to complete at least 1 video a day to "maintain" her fitness as required by her CCA. It's nice to sweat it out with the girls. Through this, we can also see who is the more sporty kind and who is the one that has mobility disability..hahaha.. I need to get more yoga mats! Hopefully we continue this even after CB ends.

9) iPad and apple pencil 

- I bought the apple pencil when govt announced CB in view that I would do more presentation / drawings digitally. But to be honest, the pencil has been so underused for work, if any. Angela suggested sketching / digital art with it. I've tried a few times..but art is not my cup..hahaha..

I've just started to use it for journaling and taking my church notes recently and hopefully it can relinquish its white elephant status by the end of CB. Mayb this shall be the next skill I conquer.

My after thoughts 

I'm quite thankful for this circuit breaker. If anything, it has allowed me to complete/master things that I otherwise wouldn't have been able to do so. I told my BFFs that I'm actually enjoying my life now. Do a bit of work here and there, spend a lot of time with the kids, do bible study, eat and sleep. Mayb I will have a different stand when the cases/$$ are not coming in subsequently but for now, I'm enjoying the peace and my simple life. 

Shall make a list of the things I wanna do (tom) before the end of CB. Coz there's only 2 weeks left...lol

Back in April when my fringe is stil short..  

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

Isaiah 26:3 NIV

https://isaiah.bible/isaiah-26-3

做人很难

Just now joy was fiddling with vera..when she said "mama, when vera grow up, she will b more useless than u.."

And at that instance, I felt like being shot a thousand times..Like 无缘无故被杀死

I asked her "Is mama very useless? I can be more useless than now, u know?"

She apologised.

But damage done. Felt like I've fallen into a bottomless pit. 

This is her nth time saying it, like its getting a little too frequent and hurting like crazy. I rem the first time was when she was my IT support helping me set up the things during my video conference (when I screwed up) and needed her backup. She probably said it out of frustration but it still hurts. Or maybe she really felt that her mom is useless. I dont know. Or mayb I really am not very useful.

Other than my job, I dont know any other skills. And my job is something that the kids find it chim to understand or able to visualise that put any meaning to it. U know.. in sch the kids know the popular occupations like teacher; lawyer; doctor etc. But what is a financial adviser ? What do they do? 

Actually I find it even more hurting after penning this.. haiz.. I dunno how I should face her and how I should stop it from happening etc. God pls grant me the wisdom to turn this into something useful, that we all can learn from this together.