Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Change for the better


I did something that I usually wont do.. which is to come attend this convention by myself -alone. Had gotten tickets for this event thru the company lucky draw.. and there was the huge inertia to crawl out of bed and come here and risk either bumping into those 半熟的 colleagues/ ex colleagues.. haiz.. but I've always wanted to attend the real one at US. Registered for that before but cancelled it coz there was the pig flu many yrs ago and I didnt wanna risk spreading it to my little baby when I came back. Thus, I'm here today since it's free and I pray that I could just sit alone and zen and b invisible. Had alrdy sighted a few ex colleagues but yes, hopefully thats it. I can pull it thru..

Change is uncomfortable. Change is for the better. I can do this lah..

Update: Its almost at the end of the day. It has been an enriching experience. I'm glad I came, despite the inertia. Thankfulness. 

Saturday, July 20, 2019

Venting

This is a venting post so be prepared.

Me: "So, can u tell me why u are standing for (committee) again?"

《Silence》

I know he's pissed/frustrated at me for asking. But I'm disappointed that he has chosen to stand for it again. AGM is Tom. 6mths ago, he was the one who was saying that after the 1yr, he would step down and bow out of it. Then few mths later, his stance change to "if he could, he would step down.." then to this couple of weeks " I would stand for another yr, just so that the impt/major things are ironed out...."

And all these were made without consulting me or the kids. Joy is clearly unhappy. She complained to me yday night. The girls were alone at home (again) bcoz his committee had a last min meeting and I happened to have a review appt which had over run. By the time I reach home, it was 9pm. I hugged the twins and chatted with them for half hr before letting them go to bed. Then chatted with the teenager til 10. It's a mum's guilt I guess. When I need to work and my kids are home alone. I hate it. Thus, I let them have a late bedtime yday.

I hated it that the family is compromised becoz of his CCAs. As much as I try to be the supportive wife, I cant. As much as I try, I cant. Especially when I just realize that this is going to go on for another yr. He says that he hopes I can see it from his perspective. But no, I cant. I tried. It's not like I never try. For the last few mths, as long as enough notice was given and he had to attend, I would block out the date and bring the girls out , with a peaceful heart.

Many thoughts went thru my mind before I blurted out that qn. It's a spiteful qn and I know it will pissed him off. But trust me, that was the most well packaged way I could think of, with a tinge of spitefulness. There were many other ways that were going thru my mind... like " I will quit my job tomorrow to be a homemaker. U can take on  whatever portfolio u want. I will take care of the kids." or "Pass me back the proxy form. I've decided to attend the meeting."

But I zipped my mouth n stopped those statements from coming out. (Trust me, I'm still tempted) There is no point in saying something to score that momentous goal but long term hurt. I know. Just venting.

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 16:18 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/pro.16.18.NIV

Update: I just wanna do a quick update since the AGM passed last weekend. He stepped down quietly during the meeting. I didnt think he would do it but I'm happy and thankful. Joy was delighted when she heard the news yday. I know he felt that he let his teammates downs by pulling out at the 11th hr. I told him that he can still be a helpful neighbour even if he wasnt part of the committee.  Anyway I'm glad that we didnt tear each other apart to have to reach to this. In fact, his teammates organized a farewell dinner for him last night. He brought the twins along while I spend some time alone with joy, my firstborn. I do enjoy "satellite parenting" where I can concentrate fully on each child. Happy week everyone!

Thursday, July 18, 2019

July - the mth of feasting and celebrations

And so the feasting has started for my bday! With jiamin being the first stop! As always, she has graciously offered to cook lunch for both of us. Home cooked food and having the luxury to chat about anything and everything is what I really appreciate.. hahah.. as times passes, 真的能聊天的朋友真的不多。感恩有你们。

Photo by wanling..

其实这吧年龄了,生日和平日没两样。不求有个浪漫的庆祝,只希望家人都健康,能够每天看着小朋友慢慢地长大就很满足了。


So we went for an early lunch on my actual day before picking up the girls. Managed to try 探鱼 which I've wanted to try for the longest time but never got to doing it. Glad that the food was good.

I cried shortly after this shot. Was overwhelmed with emotions when I saw the surprise tiramisu. It has been a long time since he baked anything for me. This is like a cake he always bake when we were dating and I'm so grateful that we have gone such a long journey together. Praying that we both grow old together, that we be able to witness our girls growth over the years.

Went for HDL. And it wasn't even planned. Happened to pass by and the staff gave us some vouchers to entice us to come..hahaha.. it was their first time and uncle choo and I both agreed that it was definitely more affordable than beauty pot though we both preferred the soup there. The kids had so much fun there that the dinner lasted for 2hrs++ and by the time we reached home it was way past the kids bedtime. Thankful for all the blessings that I have. Thank God.

~~~~~~~~

We also went for movies a few days after my bday coz it was a school holiday. I wanted to watch toy story 4 so grace accompany me coz she isn't a action packed movie person. I'm glad we could split teams.. hahaha..

Team toy story 4 on the left and spiderman on the right
Joy took this using one of her camera apps and I really like how it turn out.

Happy family


We went to Jewel to do this after the movies..  haha.. fun packed day

I'm glad I did it with the girls.. hahaha.. coz uncle chickened out at the start. Maybe the bday resolution is to start saying "Why Not?" instead of NO moving forward 

Us
~~~~~~~~~

Lovely lunch treat with Syd.. glad that we are finally colleagues again after so many yrs

Still have a couple of lunch treats coming along in the coming weeks. Thankful for the friends who made the effort. Mayb I'm old liaoz.. hahaha.. tend to be more emo and thankful.. hahaha.. but yes, a thankful heart for all the blessings and wishes this July. May we all grow old and healthy and happy together. 😘

My slimming journey part 3

08.05.19
Weight: 73.3kg
And this starts the beginning of my last cycle. I have about 8 sessions left from previous, which I aim to use this for 1 mth before I go to Vancouver. Had lost 2.2kg since the last I left this place, to which I'm thankful.
Hoping that I can hit 65kg by the end of this.

18.7.19 
Obviously nothing happened between may til Vancouver and back. Wasnt disciplined enough to keep to the meal plan and decided to just indulge and enjoy myself a little. Came back finally after all the bday feasting 

Weight: 72.8 kg

Although it seems that I've dropped since may but the truth is I've actually gained abt 1 kg since my lowest. I think each time I dropped to 71.9, I tend to be too happy with it and start over indulging in cakes and comfort food. 

Have decided to come back and finish the last of the few sessions. Praying that God will guide me thru and give me the discipline to persevere. 

26.7.19
Weight: 71.9 kg 
Gain/loss : -900gram 

Doing it once a week all the way til end Aug. Hopefully I can finally touch 65kg by then!

1.8.19
Weight: 72.1kg
Gain/loss: 400gram

Had too much carbs and ketchup chips last week. Too much feasting last week and I was too "happy" with below 72 that I enjoyed too much.. haiz..

8.8.19
Weight:72.1kg

I was shocked when I weigh myself this morning. Had expected to lose at least half a kg if not 1. Probably bcoz I had too much shabu shabu last night even though I had ate v cleanly over the last week. Decided to take a break. Probably will keep the last few sessions for maintainence ba. Mayb I'm just not as motivated now. And I doesn't want the weight to keep affecting me like that. 

Overall I'm still v much thankful for all the weight loss la. But this shall be it. Hahahaha. 

Went for lor mee this morning for breakfast. So happy!

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Devotion

Prayers to Break Strongholds

What seeds have you been planting into the soil of your life? At times I’ve planted the wrong seeds into my heart and allowed woundedness, wrong thinking, bitterness, and even sin to take root, not realizing an unwanted harvest would result. Other times I thought I was planting good into my life, yet I allowed bad things to take root, with not great results. Then there were the times the enemy himself sprinkled seeds of doubt and faithlessness into my seeds of faith, hope, and love. The resulting crop was unexpected, because I hadn’t realized the enemy had been in my garden, and I soon discovered the enemy’s tares were difficult to weed.

Maybe you can relate. As you look at the state of the garden of your heart, maybe you see that unwanted weeds, or strongholds, have taken root. This is not the garden you intended to plant, and now you are at a loss about how to repair your crop. The apostle Paul, in Galatians 6:7–8, talks about this problem. He says, “Make no mistake about this: You can never make a fool out of God. Whatever you plant is what you’ll harvest. If you plant in the soil of your corrupt nature, you will harvest destruction. But if you plant in the soil of your spiritual nature, you will harvest everlasting life.” 

A stronghold is when the enemy’s seeds of anger, self-pity, a poverty mindset, lies, shame, depression, grief, confusion, addiction, lust, laziness, and pride result in a harvest of sin, ineffectiveness, endless struggles, failures, and even fatigue, pain, and illness. Some of these strongholds we planted ourselves through ignorance, bitterness, hate, woundedness, or confusion. Other strongholds have taken root through the work of the enemy, who sowed trauma, difficulties, grief, and wrongs committed against us into our lives.

However these strongholds came to be, we can use prayer to weed them from our hearts. In fact, prayer can act as a sort of spiritual weed killer to poison their very roots. When it comes to our hearts, we must protect the flowers and kill the weeds.

Pray with me: Father, demolish any stronghold that holds captive my heart and mind and place within me the seeds of your choosing. I desire my life to be used to bring forth the goodness and majesty of your Word. In Jesus’s name and through the power of His blood, amen. 
Source: https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/15577/day/3?ret=1

Started a reading plan recently and haven't been keeping up to it religiously. But the msg that I read today happens to be so on point to what I'm feeling now at this moment. So decided to pen it down so that I would remember.. planting the right seeds and that in all ways, pray and seek God. Ask him to remove all the weeds in our lives, that all the harmful thoughts like anger, jealousy, fear be removed. In Jesus name I pray, amen!

Bible verse

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 5:1‭-‬2 NIV https://bible.com/bible/111/eph.5.1-2.NIV

Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Bible verses

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 NIV https://bible.com/bible/111/jos.1.9.NIV

Saturday, July 6, 2019

Vancouver/ Seattle

Finally some time to pen my thoughts before my next appt. Been wanting to blog abt so many things but always end up with opening paragraphs and then got distracted.

~ The trip ~
The trip was good. It was my first time to Canada and Seattle, and boy did I enjoy myself! The food was soooooo good, definitely better than the typical European countries that I've visited thus far.

Welcome dinner

Dim sum breakfast 

Omakase

And their extensive Asian cuisine made this Chinese girl so comfortable. I was happy to have dim sum, Chinese zicha, and even Japanese soba and sushi! I could come here again if I have the chance coz this was the first time I didnt need open my cup noodles! Also the first time I gain weight after coming back from an ang moh country. 



The extension to Seattle was good too! It was an adventure that the typical me won't consider usually. A client of mine happened to be studying in Vancouver and offered to host us during our extension. I didnt think much before accepting coz the thought of having a local guide was too good to reject. I'm glad I didnt. We had a great time! (despite the initial awkwardness) coz after all, we weren't exactly friends to begin with. But I'm glad that we got to know each other better during this trip. 

Me and my 2 lovely hosts!


Our nice house!

I also got to stay in a nice HOUSE with a fireplace! How cool is that, for a Singaporean city girl! I'm glad I didnt do my extensions at the expensive Fairmont but at cosy affordable air bnb.

I was very fascinated by the automated fireplace but my friends say nowadays all the houses use this. Hahaha..

I'm so glad I tried this while I was in Vancouver! It's so nice and most importantly no q! 

Sitting on the floor of Walmart coz I was too tired from all the walking but mr choo wasn't done yet.. #super unglam but dont care
The unit of the air bnb we stayed on the last night is our wedding anniversary! Oh my 天!

And the 8 days ended faster before I realized. The kids were good with my mama. Told William that perhaps we could do a longer trip next year, now that they are older..

so we came back with 3 full luggage coz uncle pig did ALOT of shopping.. hahahah


Also gave uncle pig a surprise by changing our flights on the trip back. I thought it was a good treat since it was our wedding anniversary.. I slept throughout the 2 flights but he clearly enjoyed the experience.. hahahah