Yeah it’s over !

Went to the gym this morning. Figured I needed the distraction and the release of happy hormones to calm myself down. I will be doing a sharing coz it’s my scheduled turn. It still gets to me, like what will happen if advisers feel meh after hearing me, or worse walk out halfway of my presentation. And the nerves eat me alive. The last time it was me l, I was too busy with other things, that I didn’t have time to let the nerves do their job. Hahahaha.. I guess this is going to be the norm, more sharing, more presentations and more talking. 

When will I ever get used to this? When can I stop emotional eating whenever an event like this happen? I told Angela that I was so nervous that I think I can eat a cow for breakfast! I even told myself that I’ll order my comfort toast on top of the usual eggs +kopi. Carried my battlepack to Hong Lim and realize my fav breakfast uncle is on a holiday! And he will only b back after I fly to Athens 🤪🤪🤪

And I legit went to see if there were cheat options. It would h nice if we could really have some beef soup for breakfast.. hahahaha.. Oh well, and then I had this. 

It was okie, fills my hunger, but not satisfying. Oh well.. hopefully lunch will b yummy! 

Continuing my post from yday, you know.. as much as I worry Uncle will leave before me, there is always a possibility that the reverse happens. That I leave prematurely, and when that happens, what do I want to be remembered as? 

The whole thing abt death just got me thinking. If I passes, I hope to be remembered as someone so willing to share her wisdom, love and time with. Someone who is willing to tell stories to pick them up, or encourage someone. And hopefully God gives me enough time to do all these. 

Going to crawl up to office. God, may your will be done. May you be with me, as I walk the difficult steps. I know You are God and nothing is impossible in ur eyes. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!

And this is me again. After my presentation and my lunch appt with one of my babies. I wouldn’t say lunch wasn’t without stress. It’s not her, it’s me. I just need to get used to knowing more people. So many things to learn. 😜

Angela brought some nice home made cinnamon rolls for me too. So truly blessed by her. I know she didn’t need this training, but she came nonetheless coz she guess I needed the team support.. hahahah.. feeling so loved! 🥰

Thankful for how things penned out. 

How much do I need ?

While having dinner with my extended family on 元宵节， i was talking about going car-less when the current car expires; which would be in another 4 yrs time. My bro was quite shocked..so was a very close family friend. Both felt that with kids, having a car has become a necessity than a want.  My bro, in particular, felt that we should abandon that idea since "it's not something we couldn't afford".

Perhaps it's true.. be it traveling with kids, or be it in terms of the affordability aspect. But my thoughts were quite simply because firstly by then, the twins would b 10 yrs old and joy would b 15. Certainly by then the transport system would b even more robust compared to now. Secondly, becoz they r bigger, the Amt of barang barang that we need to bring would b greatly reduced..so the car becomes more of a want than a need. Thirdly, I would want the kids to be less reliant on cars. Maybe I think too much, but I don't want them to think that the car is a necessity when they start the workforce and thus be caught in the rat race. My bro is right in the sense that yes, we are more than able to still afford the car, but would our kids be able to afford given the increasing  cost of living?  As it is, most kids in sg has never seen the hard life that our parents or grandparents live in, and are unaware of how $$ comes from. My kids think that every time mama needs $$, she only needs to go press a few buttons at the machine aka Atm and $$ juz spurts out easily. 😂
This isn't what I want my girls to believe.
I used to live an extravagant lifestyle, only allowing William to bring joy to cafes or restaurants. To me, food courts were dirty and challenging to bring a toddler to, not to even mention hawker centres! Haha..Yes, that's me 7 yrs ago.. the-since-I-could -afford it, then y not ? After all, I certainly need some indulgences in life after working so hard, isn't it? Must we be living a lifestyle based on how much we earn or should we be living a lifestyle based on how much we need ? The me now believes in living a lifestyle based on need basis.. the only extravagant item that I'm still paying is the twins preschool, which will end in 2 yrs time. Yeah!😁

Anyway I've digressed..Haha.. lastly, it's for environmental reasons la. Let's all help cut down the CO2 emissions and lower the usage of energy. The family friend is a family of 4 and they hv 3 cars, my bro family has 2 cars..all 不环保.. hahaha.. I shall do my small part in saving the earth today..