ER 29/8/11 @ 930am

Procedure was done in a sec.. Coz I was kinda knocked out within a while n by the time they woke me up, it was completed. The nurses here are nice, juz like the time when I had joy.. Warm n hospitable. Thank God for them, which made everything seem more ok.. Now waiting for the anesthetic to wear off before they can discharge me. Waiting for my breakfast to come too! Haha.. Kinda miss the food here when I was delivering joy 4 yrs ago.. Haha..
Thank God for everything.. Not sure abt the extraction results and don't wanna worry abt tt coz I know I'm in safe hands. Amen!

ER (Embryo Retrieval) 29/8/11 @ 645am

Dear lord I pray that you accompany me to the procedure. For someone who's so afraid of pain, you protected me thru these 4 weeks of daily jabs, making it seem like a breeze. Lord I pray tt u oversee this whole process n protect the hearts of my 2 precious: uncle pig & joy.. They hv been a continuous source of support n they r also praying for what are heart deeply desire - another child. Lord I know u love them more than I do.. And I trust tat you hv plans in place for all 3 of us. Lord give me peace to go thru the rest of the leg.. In Jesus name I pray, amen

Miracles

Suddenly thought about this song when I woke up this morning and decided to find it. Enjoy!

Lyrics for When You Believe by Whitney Houston & Mariah Carey
Many nights we’ve prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopefull song
We barely understood
Now we are not afraid
Although we know there’s much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we knew we could

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it’s hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe
In this time of fear
When prayers so often prove(s) in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away
Yet now I’m standing here
My heart’s so full I can’t explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I’d say
There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it’s hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

They don’t (always happen) when you ask
(Oh)
And it’s easy to give in to your fears
(Oh…Ohhhh)
But when you’re blinded by your pain
Can’t see your way straight throught the rain
(A small but )still resilient voice
Says (hope is very near)
(Ohhh)
There can be miracles
(Miracles)
When you believe
(Lord, when you believe)
Though hope is frail
(Though hope is frail)
It’s hard to kill
(Hard to kill, Ohhh)
Who knows what miracles,you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will(somehow,somehow, somehow)
somehow you will
You will when you believe
You will when you
You will when you believe
Just believe…in your heart
Just believe
You will when you believe~

ED1

The Emo Day..
It's coming to a mth since we started on our daily dose of injections.. It's been quite smooth , on the whole.. Till we went for our visit on mon n dr commented the growth of the eggs were a little sluggish.. Huh? I Thot it was so far so gd? How did it suddenly become sluggish? He suggested increasing the dosage of Puregon from 150mg to 200 mg n hopefully things will get better. Egg retrieval which was initially estimated to be either thur or fri might be delayed. We are to c him again on wed and c how.

Wed came and it was confirmed.. Sluggish.. My heart sank. Most likely there will only b abt 8 follicles ready for retrieval looking at their growth. On one hand, it's gd news tat I didn't get OHSS or too many eggs tat made breathing an issue . But on another hand, the no of eggs is definitely much lesser than wat we had expected. If there were only 8 follicles, n assuming tat not all follicles contained an egg, i might b looking at 6 eggs? And I shudder to think at the end how many would b successful embryos for me to put inside.. Haiz..
Tears flowed as these thoughts passed my mind.. The first day (ED1) when my emo got the better of me.. Nice uncle pig told me tt we should surrender to the Lord, tt we will continue to do our best and trust in the Lord tt He will do the rest.
Yes, I agree.. I had worried deep in my heart initially, that I will hv too many frozen embryos and they will b wasted n it juz seem like a life forsaken.. And I prayed for just the right no. Of embryos . And I shall pray again now.. That the Lord, my God, does not need many to start w, to create the little miracle in our lives. He knows our needs, and He provides. It just take 1 to be successful, if He is willing.
Yes, we will surrender completely to Him and adhere to His guidance.

And going a little further, he fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, "Abba Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will. - Mark 14:35-36

ivf read

This is by far the clearest of the IVF procedure that I've found on the web.. Saves my explanation when I explain to my friends what I'm going thru and the stages.. Go read...


http://www.victoriafertility.com/14p_in-vitro_fertilization.htm

Simple Happiness

"Happiness isn't about what happens to us -- it's about how we perceive what happens to us. It's the knack of finding a positive for every negative, and viewing a setback as a challenge. If we can just stop wishing for what we don't have, and start enjoying what we do have, our lives can be richer, more fulfilled -- and happier. The time to be happy is now." - Lynn Peters

Bumped into this verse when I was flipping one of Uncle Pig's old old books and it struck a chord in me. It's so true, how sometimes we always wish for a situation or something that God could give us, in order to be happy. But more often than not, it's not the result of a situation that will lead to happiness, but to look at every current situation, and smile. To be able to look at the little blessings at each situation, to be able to smile, and to be able to give thanks, is what we should do in life. And I'm trying to do it at the best I can, trying to be happy, optimistic every day, every hour and every second. And for this, I'm grateful, that God has guarded my emotions so far.. there was no major emo days and I'm just counting every day and looking forward to every day as it comes. This is simple happiness, I guess. =)

My Protein Diet

Today is the start of my protein diet. Under the advise of many in forum, it's best to start doing my egg whites at this stage. As it will reduce the bloatedness of my tummy and reduce the chances of having OHSS (Overian Hyperstimulation Syndrome). The "recommended" amt that one should consume is about 10 per day!!! Yes, 10!! I got a shock too, when I heard it. After telling Uncle Pig about it, the enthuastic guy went to buy 90 eggs and now they are sitting at my living room. Haha.. anyway, he cooked 6 today, and I've already eaten 3 for breakfast.

I've always been a fan of eggs, half/hard boiled eggs.. coz with the dark soya sauce, it always taste nice! Not sure if my palatte has changed recently, but I find it hard to even finish my #2 egg white,  much to imagine 10! Will pack them for lunch/tea/dinner later.. hehe.. to my lunch/tea kakis, you can always share my eggs now..hahah...

Right now, I pray that God will protect me from OHSS, as people with PCOS (me) is even more prone to getting it.  Lord, I surrender to you, and leave this IVF to your control. I pray that you protect me from all negative thoughts, and that you protect my womb, so that I will have the right no. of eggs, eggs that's healthy. Lord, I also pray that during this period, I will continue to seek you, that I will continue to praise you, for your Goodness. Lord, I pray that during this period of time,  my work will be stablised and I will be able to focus. I pray that I have the energy to explain the details to the clients and I pray that they will see value in the work I do. Lord, I also pray for William's biz, that you continue to give him wisdom in solving all the issues there, and I pray that you protect this household. In Jesus name, I pray
- Amen-

The Day I Drew Blood..

Sounds gross right... haha.. but it really happened! Had my first trial of injecting the 2nd kind of medication (Puregon), which comes with a Puregon pen lookalike thing used to do the injections. Dont know why, but after the injection, there were droplets of blood.. hmm, well, the only thing I can conclude is either I've poked into my vein accidentally or this Puregon pen is not as friendly as my first injection. To my first conclusion, I was kinda happy.. coz to think that I've poked myself for >15 days and this was the first time I hit the vein, I thank God ah.. haha.. In fact, was just chatting with one of my church friends on Sunday and she asked if I had blueblacks all over my tummy, which I told her no, I didnt. Cause her friend who was doing IVF some time back, was aways hit with blueblacks / brusies. Which it then daunted upon me that, I rem reading somewhere that it's quite common. But God had protected me from more suffering, which I'm juz simply grateful and counting the little blessings. =)

Oh, did a rough calculation and I should be doing my egg retrieval next week!!! Arrrhhhhh! So fast!?? It just seem y'day when I was still deciding if I should be doing it, and next week would be the estimated ER? OMG! Kinda feel excited at the thought of it.. and hopefully if all else is smooth in God's plan, we will complete this cycle by end of Aug and we will know the result by mid Sept..

Just taking my time to enjoy my me time at home, and count the little blessings. =)

Day 15

A bit lost with my counting but to sum it up, I've completely the first set of injections and were supposedly to start the 2nd set tomorrow. Met the gynae today again for an examination, and I muz say that this 2 weeks have been a breeze! Thank God for his mercy and protection. There was only a couple of mini-arguments tat I had with uncle pig, and not those mega catastrophic ones tat we used to hv when we were doing our IUIs and for this, I'm grateful. Jus trying to count my little blessings as it goes. =)

Anyway we did a blood test n a ultrasound scan today. Thought I could progress to stage 2 from tomorrow but dr says tt we need to wait for the blood test before he can advise on the dosage of the new med..and therefore, I would need to extend my stage 1 for another 2-3days bah..not tat it matters..essentially when u r doing >80 injections, I guess it didn't really matter if we had to do 2-3 more.. Haha.. Trying my best to b optimistic..maybe God wants me to be more prepared emotionally before we go to stage 2? Coz thats when the discomfort sinks in, with the bloated stomach n the over-stimulation of eggs..kinda regretted tt I didn't work as much as I wanted during stage 1 coz it really was quite workable ah.. Regret ah... And now at this stage 2 coming, I wouldn't dare work as hard or fix many appts..for fear of everything..

God, I pray to you tat u continue to guide us in this journey.. Tat you guard my emotions, bless me with the nice pple to meet for my work so tat I can still work and continue to provide for the household. Lord, I pray tat I will have peace in our hearts and I pray tat U will guide William in his biz too. Lord I thank you for William and joy in my life, and I pray that you give them good health. In Jesus name I pray,
- Amen -

Day 5

It's been a few days since I started my injections.. Initially the plan was for uncle pig to help w the injections as I was allergic to pain.. But juz so happened tat the couple of days was so hectic for his baking tat I didn't hv the heart to make him rush bk juz to do it for me.. So far we both did twice each.. And I'm proud to say tat I'm much better than him.. Haha... At least I really don't feel a tinge of pain at all!! Happy happy... 

It juz seems so easy now.. The fears n reservations I had initially, 都好像是多余的。will be seeing the gynae again next week n right now I juz can't wait to start on my 2nd set! Haha...happy day!

Day 1 of IVF..

Was feeling jittery as the day draws near .. Thoughts abt aborting it did come to my mind.. But rather than going down tat route, I juz prayed once again this morning for peace n God's guidance in this journey. Which I felt today. Yes. Morning traffic to town was a breeze.. We arrived early to b able to have happy breakfast before going to the clinic. Right inside the consultation rm, dr explained my blood test to us, our eggs supply n quality.. Everything was gd n within the normal range.. But if everything was gd, then y didnt we get the results we wanted? Haiz..
Anyway dr explained once again abt the procedures n the no of injections to b done.. I muz hv miscalculated! Coz instead of having one injection n increasing it every set of 10 days, it's actually every set of 2 weeks! Faintz... Which means tat I will b jabbing for 6 weeks n a total of 84 jabs!! My mind ran super fast w the calculation n back.. Haha.. Doc says that it will be over even before I know it, which I seriously doubt it.. haha.. but anyway, just concentrate a jab a day first la.. The nurse demonstrated the procedures n did the first jab. I won't say tt it's painless, but it's definitely less painful than the ones I had when doing my IUIs.. So overall it's still a happy day! now juz have to decide on the timing of my injection coz it will hv to b followed strictly everyday.. Tinking of doing it everyday at midnight but dr says usually most pple do it early in the morning.. Haha.. Shall c how la
Thank God for overseeing it all. I pray tat everyday will b as easy as today.. =p

p/s: thot that the new IVF ruling would only be effected from Oct whereby there can only be 2 embryos inserted if you are below age 35.. and I was still telling Uncle Pig that we should be able to do 3 instead..but the nurse juz said that they have already embraced the change.. kissing triplets bye bye..but like what my beloved friend says, I only need one, if it's in God's plans... =p