Happy birthday to me!

Decided to pen a letter to myself on my bday. After all that has happened in 2025, I’ve learnt to be a little kinder to myself. 

Dearest 我，

生日快乐🎂！I’ve grown so much over the last 3yrs. 

July is my bday month and it’s also my work anniversary as a leader. So every July feels a lot more; more grateful; more loved; more fulfilled. ❤️

What more do I want for myself? In the next 6mths, 1yr, 3yrs and even 5yrs?

I want to be able to live each day with purpose and ❤️, to be able to be a lighthouse for the people around me. 

我长大了。不再每次自责 or butcher myself for every mistake that happened. 

我要过得更充实，更开心。

Grateful to God for all the blessings He has given me. 🤗

感恩

 The wedding party ended. It was much better than I ever imagined!

Grateful that we managed to pull it off, with a lot of help and love from our friends. 

My heart is filled with so much ❤️❤️❤️

Even though uncle choo didn’t want to do a 20th party, he still went ahead and did so much prep work so that I would be happy. 

Seeing him, and seeing the love of our friends, I’m grateful. Grateful that we created core beautiful memories today. 

I’m going to look at these photos again and again, cause never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined this. 

The wedding I had 20yrs ago, had a lot of expectations. I wanted to please everyone, and I forgot who I invited. 

But today, those who came, are people whom I treasure deeply. 

I even had a round 2, not because I had to but coz I want to. 

Coz it’s not tiring when u can hang out w friends who doesn’t mind if I hibernate.. hahahah.. friends whom I’m v comfortable and casual w.. 

感恩🥹

Eve of party

Tonight felt like eve of wedding night again! And I think a lot of my friends are feeling the nerves like me.. hahahaha.. 

I was just ranting to a couple of them that I felt like super nervous and they said they too! Hahahahah! And honestly, most of the hard (heart) work are all done by my beloved guests.. hahahaha.. so many of them are doing little speeches that I’m so excited abt it! And I’m so grateful and immensely blessed. 

It’s midnight and I can still hear uncle Choo doing the final prep for the deco stuff for tomorrow.. I really wanna zzzz .. can he faster come back ? 🥹🥹🥹 

After 20 years, I don’t think I can sleep without him.. hahahaha.. 

excited abt tomorrow, and also grateful for ❤️❤️❤️

They will be 14 tomorrow. How time flies. 

I remember how those early days were - always overwhelmed; always exhausted; always tired and even if I wanted to fight with Uncle, using that time to sleep felt more important. 

The days are long but the years short. 

I guess there is some truth to it. 

Grace was just reminding me recently that the current house is the only house where vera and her stuff wasn’t thrown out of the house! lol…  those years had been so hard, coz she is as stubborn as me; more sensitive / emo than me; and more whiny.. it’s like Lena 2.0. 

Recently it’s nice to just hug and cuddle her. I think I might invite her to my bed when William goes for his sabbatical break. 

I’m not a perfect mom. We fight so much then. I/We cried so much; either together or alone on my bed. 

Thankful that even though things aren’t perfect, we make it thru. 

How much is a litre of confidence?

I talked abt this several times on my blog. 

https://pigletchoo.blogspot.com/2023/12/lessons.html?m=1

Looking back, I’m definitely more confident now compared to 2yrs ago. 

And I’m happy where I am now. 

I’m thankful I didn’t surrender when things felt overwhelming.

I’m thankful for the opportunity to grow, and grow tremendously which I didn’t expect. 

I’m thankful to have my band of cheerleaders who stood by me, waiting to just give me a hug whenever I feel like crying. You know who u are. 

On a personal note, I finally decided to hold a celebration for our 20th wedding anniversary. It’s been on my mind since my 10th anniversary, but I got lazy/distracted/overwhelmed. 

And then a whimsical trip to JB, I found myself wanting to do it again. Cause 20 yrs is a milestone. 

”我不知道我们还会有多一个20年吗？” that was what I told uncle Choo.. 

Thoughts of death or even the vulnerability of marriage kept lingering in my mind. 

So I decided, let’s do it! 

Looking for a venue to do a small cozy little party for now. 

Hope I wouldn’t give up and cancel it by the next post! Hahahaha.. 

Learning a new sport

Learning a new sport at 45 is scary. 

Especially when I haven’t been a sporty person all my life. 

I always tell my friends: 

“球太大，我怕打到我。球太小，我接不到。” 

But I didn’t want to say no to Rachel for the third time. She has been organizing it every month, for our team. Says it’s to exercise together to work towards a healthier lifestyle, and not simply work work work. She did quietly tell me that it also helps save me money coz we can do team bonding very affordabily.  

真的是让我又爱又恨的小朋友。❤️

And so I went today. Even though I played out 101 excuses to fly them at the last minute, even though I’m not sure how it would end. 

Ming started with warm up, and even before it ended, I thought I was FINISHED. 

Hahahaha… 

Then we played. Small simple exercises at the start, then eventually the respective courts depending on yr skill level. 

I actually enjoyed myself more than I expected. 

Even though my muscles still aching like crazy as I’m writing this. 

Even though none of my comfort kakis are here. 

It used to bother me a lot when they didn’t come. In fact none of my seniors came. 

But I realize that I wouldn’t have come if I was an adviser even if my boss had organized. 

And I’m completely okay with it now. 

We all have 24 hours a day. 

I spend some time out of my comfort zone today and I’m proud of myself. 

I had no expectations or disappointment on the actions of others.

I’m proud of my own realisation. And I’m enjoying this moment of ME now. 

I’m thankful. 

Thankful for the growth.

P/S: Told Rachel my social battery was flat after I parted ways with them. She asked why? Especially since it’s my own team! I told her that my mind had less than 5 sentences that’s non work related.. hahaha.. just socially awkward. Hahahaha..

Couple trip part III

The one week honeymoon ended. Was quite thankful to be back home towards the end. Coz I was starting to feel sick, and bored in China. Hahahaha.. 

It was a good break, a good pause to just focus on the man, even though in his POV, I still worked a lot while on the trip. Hahahaha.. oh well.. 

Trying to either approve cases using my small phone or reply clients / advisers text.. this is his evidence 🤣🤣🤣

Thankful to be able to spend this 1 week focusing on him and him alone. Thankful that even though we didn’t tick any awesome Michelin food, or bought a lot of stuff, it was good just to enjoy each other presence. 

It was good to sleep early and it was good to wake up naturally (although my naturally is still abt 7ish). 

We took so many pretty photos, cause he said I will need it for my LinkedIn articles.. hahaha.. 

Funny old man. 

May we continue to grow old together. My man. 

Small victories!

Just wanna record a fulfilling day for me. 

Finally launched my first e-book online! Although there was quite a few hiccups here and there, I’m glad that I managed to pull it thru! Like how I spended more time than I expected in drafting the book, doing up the web link and then friends say they didn’t receive the copy. Somehow the web link had some glitches! And I couldn’t resolve it coz by then I had a team lunch with my work kids followed by our team bonding event. 

I’m happy that they enjoyed the event. Everyone who came managed to know each other a little better I guess. 

I was the only one who went on to fix a work appt in office! Kinda regret my decision.. lol.. coz I was so sweaty and smelly by the time the team building. . 

Thankfully the clients came on time and I even managed to close an unexpected case from that appt! Praise the Lord!! 

Thankful for a great Thursday! My heart is full. 

If anyone would like to download my e-book, here’s the link too: https://mailchi.mp/lenafinancemama/first-finance-book

Protecting myself

 I finally did what I’ve wanted to do for the last few months. I stepped down as the kindergarten teacher. 

There were many reasons why I wanted to, but I think the last straw was when new advisers were always late for trainings. The blatant lack of respect for all the trainers when we curved out time out of our busy schedule to do this. I told them few days ago “Don’t apologise for the late coming. Just arrive before 9am. If you wouldn’t dare to be late for your clients appt, then what gives you the right to do that to trainers?” 

That was what I did. 

I tried to improve the culture / their working attitude and I failed. I tried to tell myself not to let it affect me, and I failed too. So I decided to just step down and protect myself. 

我的功力不够深厚，所以我选择离开保护自己. 

Felt a sense of relief once I settled everything. I guess the cruise + recent spate of events have pushed me to focus on what’s really important in my life. Declutter my life and proritise joy.

Our long weekend

Feel so good to swim on a Monday morning, even though the sun was pretty unbearable towards the end. Life unfiltered. Just wanna admire the current me, even though I’m covered with white hair and old age spots. But there are many other things to be grateful for. I’m blessed with good health, so are my family. We have the option to travel if we want to, if time and health permits. 

As one ages, the things that I’m grateful for have become smaller in nature. Little blessings - are enough for me. Life is too short to be stressed and overwhelmed with fleeting things. Even a cafe that we visited frequently has closed down for good.. sigh..they served the best 辣椒板面 in my opinion.

Joy had a party last week, which she invited over 20 friends. It was tiring to even just see her jumping from circles to circles to make sure each diff friend group doesn’t feel neglected. It’s nice to have kids at this age where we just provide food and space.. and they will figure it all out on their own. 

All the kids were delighted with the cake. William said it’s redemption for not baking for her for the last few yrs, coz we were always shifting in Aug.. lol..she was proud of her cake coz her friends told her it was the best they had, and I think it made her very proud 😊 

Did a small scale bbq just among ourselves coz my kids love bbq and none of us had the social capacity to entertain.. hahaha.. so it was just us, which was really nice coz we didn’t have to make sure our guests were well fed or comfortable. There were no guests and our helper was on off, so everyone helped chipped in a little. Grace even took the little boy to swim, so that joy and I could start the fire.. hahaha

Happy birthday to me!

Finally got a chance to burn some calories today. Hardly exercise for the whole of June coz helper is away. And then by the time we do the sch drop offs, the sun is so bright that it’s so hard to swim. Plus I was lazy too la.. haha

Decided to do something for myself today. And it was nice to do a swim and just laze by the pool beds after that. 

Not doing anything fancy today coz no helper and I just didn’t wan William to 忙到半死 just for my bday. Everyday is a happy day as long as everyone’s healthy. 

Went for a simple lunch at our usual Korean restaurant before he dropped me off to meet Joy at TTSH for her medical appt. Long story short, she’s going to start some injections every week from next week. I just pray that this would work and that her condition would improve. 

By the time we were done, it was almost 6pm. Rushed home to see William still busy preparing for dinner. I was supposed to pick Joash but by the time the TTSH appt was done, it was kinda too late. 

He made Korean cold noodles! And it tasted to my liking.. hahahaha.. it’s not like the typical kind where the noodles are gooey, his version is slightly better and more suited for me (I feel but I could b biased too.. hahaha) 

I’ve been craving for Korean cold noodles for a long time and I’m glad this worked out! Hahahha.. then we could always have this anytime we wanted. And the best part is we could top it up with our fav meats and not the miserable few pieces of meat that we get when we dine out. 

Had so much emotions as I see this picture. 

孩子长大了，我们都老了。我想我人生中做最对的决定就是嫁给你，跟你一起把这些人带大。。哈哈哈哈。。生日愿望很简单。希望我爱的人和爱我的人都健康、快乐。

A heart of thankfulness

The helper has been back for 2 weeks++. And so far, it’s mere exhuastion + thankfulness. 

She is only coming back in another 2 more weeks coz I don’t know why we agree to a 1 mth break for her. lol.. this morning Joy was still saying that she misses our helper and that we shouldn’t have agreed on a 1 mth break. I told her we were afraid if we said 2 weeks she would just not renew her contract. Hahahha.. 

累是累可是 everyone has been helping out with some of the chores just so that papa Choo wouldn’t need to do as much. But when I said some, it’s really tiny some. Lol.. 

But I’m thankful that the girls and even Joash stepped up in helping. Breakfast w the girls this morning, and they were telling me some of the changes they have made. Eg, reusing their bath towels instead of changing everyday, and I hear them discussing abt re-wearing their sch uniforms (now that sch is going to start tomorrow), coz the turnover isn’t as quick as last time. I’m glad that the girls get to wear some of their less popular clothes bcoz of this too.. hahaha.. some clothes where they had forgotten they actually have, bcoz our helper turnover is T+1. 

Penning this down so that we can all laugh it over again in time to come. 

The truth will set you free

Today I felt free for the first time. I was not pressured by the need to bring the kids out over the weekend, or the need to prove anything. (I know many a times, it’s my mind at work). 

But today, I had the aha moment. That I am who I am. 

Yes there will always be more interesting mamas who does art and craft or baking with their kids, or mamas who bring their kids on outings every weekend or public holiday, or mama who simply provide the best gifts for her kids at bday parties. I’m not any of those. I’m just me. I tire easily when doing outdoors or play dates or just crowded places. I need naps like a baby. And I need my time away from my kids. 

And this is me - uniquely created by God. 

There isn’t a need to feel sorry for not being able to do it all. 

I felt a pat on my back when I finally realised it all. I felt enlightened.

I know it’s not much. And eventually the negative voice in me will start judging me in days to come. But at this moment, I just wanted to celebrate me - the free me. 

The one who allows the kids to watch tv so that she could take a break, the one who doesn’t do much revision w her kids or don’t even remember when their exams are. 

Life is too short to worry abt these. Let’s celebrate life. Celebrate this moment.