A day by the pool...

Today while at the pool, we met with a special needs child, who is in her 20s. She was at the slide pool where joy and some of the older kids were queuing for their turns at the slide. She seem happy, like a child, not caught up with the troubles of the world. When I looked at her, I asked myself if we had the capacity n heart to take care of a special needs child. It was not without hesitation. Looking at her, I wonder deeply if we were able to take care of her as if our child would always be in her early stage. Its as if Joy would remain as a 4 year old year even when she grows older. Would we have the patience to take care of her then? Would we have the humility to accept Joy for who she is, and to be proud of her when she accomplishes her own milestones completely different from her peers? I asked myself many What Ifs? as thou it has been cast in stone because I wanted to be as prepared as I am, although I know no matter wat, we won't be 100% prepared if it really happens. Being in my occupation, I also thought of setting a trust fund for the special child n we would hv to teach Joy over the years, that taking care of the child and loving her, would be of primary importance. Joy could be the legal guardian when William n I are no longer around. It was not a case of a decision that involves juz William & I , but it would includes Joy as well. I wanted to think of all possible scenarios because I didn't want our decision to be based on spitefulness or pressure, but because we have thought long and hard of it. I know for once, my mom 's reaction would be tat all these was due to IVF n it won't hv happened if we didn't explore this route. Was I prepared to accept all these groundless accusations? Not that they will form the root of the decision-making, but they will be there. And if I wanted to still go ahead, I must be prepared to face all these and much more. 
Looking at Joy, I wondered if it would be fair for her too, to have such a huge responsibility. I'm glad tat God gave me William & Joy so tat they r able to take care of me, and the twins. I know with them, I didn't need worry abt almost anything else. And if this is really in God's plans, then I will own it too.