Day 3 @ Cruise (10 mths update)

Looking at my two babies (grace & joy) sleeping next to me, I know life is good. Yes it can be exhausting taking care of them but the rewards hv far more exceeded the pains .

My joy , who is 6 this year, is on auto pilot mode. But she yearns for the spoon feeding attention given to her two siblings . I'm glad Tt at least at this trip I'm able to spend some heart to heart talk with her. I need to hold her tightly before she no longer shares her thoughts with me.

My grace , the sticky glue , has been drinking from the "tap" these few days. Although she is more difficult to care for at nights due to the constant latching , I'm thankful also Tt this is the easy way to make her zz compared to daddy's way of walking her around. I hope she will love her sisters like we do as she grow older

My Vera, the playful one & the constantly exploring new boundaries. She's been more sticky to me on this cruise, which I'm not sure why but am thankful for it as this allows me to take care of her more frequently. Sometimes I'm amazed at how brilliant her brain works and I'm juz praying that she will not let her little intelligence cut any shortcuts.

God, I'm thankful that You provided us with this trip, to relax and enjoy as a family. I hope that You continue to watch over these 3 girls as they grow up, that they be good children of God. Lord, use them to their fullest capacity, and I pray that You use me to guide them. God I pray for patience in taking care of them, and much as the journey ahead seems tiring and challenging and unbearable, You provide the strength and wisdom to carry me through . Lord, thank you for all that You've provided us so far. In Jesus name I pray,
Amen

9 mths update

- Composed on 27th Jan 2013 -

My twins are 9mths old today! How time flies! It's so difficult to take a pic of them looking at the camera AND smiling at the same time! Daddy is better at it and always have nicer pics than me. 

To me, 9 months old is a big milestone coz it represents an equal time they spent in my womb n out of it.. Hahaha.. But seriously , looking at these 3 kids n the "uncle", I juz wanna thank God for them. Thank God for blessing them to me. No amt of $$ can be used in exchange for them. Not even if they hv made me much  heavier than before, not even if I become so sleep deprived, not even if I can travel the world w the many incentives .. They are my world, my everything, and im enjoying every moment of them, even though sometimes it can b exhausting n heart breaking at times

我的志愿

Today joy came back with homework for her journal writing. The topic is " What do I want to be ..."

I went thru the topic with her n asked her what would she like to b? And her reply? She asked me what was my job ! This came as a pleasant surprise coz I rem asking her a few years bk n her reply was " To be a baker like papa." I patiently explain the title of my occupation n what it covers; to which she says she wanna do exactly what mummy is doing now! Haha.. Nice n heartwarming to know Tt my girl wanna be "me" when she grows up though I know Tt its still too early to say. I know I wanted to be a lawyer when I was 5, but I changed to a dozen others as I grew older . Haha.. Doesn't this happen to all of us? :p

To hold or not?

Time suddenly flew past so fast that it just seem yesterday when we were still doing the hectic 2-3hrly night shifts. Oh my God, the twins are growing up so fast and I wished that time could stop for a while, for me to breathe and enjoy this moment.

Now that they are 9months already, the thought of holding their 1 year old party starts lingering in my mind. To hold or not? As usual, me being me, I shall list all in point forms for easy digestion.

Yes
1) We did it for JOy and so naturally, we should do it for the twins
2) We only need to hold one party, but we can celebrate two persons bday!
3) Its more for us, to celebrate our sanity over this past year. Looking back, I really don't know how we manage to survive. The crazy nights, the constant cryings, plus the sick days... everything.. i'm surprised we haven't got to killing each other yet..hahaha..
4) Who doesn't love PARTIES!!!!

No
1) It's a HASSLE, from the organizing of it, to the troubling of people to come...
2) The thought of having to entertain some of Uncle Pig's relatives is a huge turnoff..


can't really recall the No reasons for now.. it didnt seem so limited initially.. hmm, well we shall see la... vera is screaming her lungs out, so shall stop for now.. she's my little princess.. smiley and crying all the time...

My hero

This is a photo taken secretly at 4am when my man is making Vera, who is sick, zzz. My man and my girl.

I envy his persistence. Coz Vera can be pretty stubborn n cry real LOUD when she doesn't wanna do the things daddy wants him to. Eg sleeping

I'm thankful for him, for taking care of everything so that Everyone else can hv a peace of Gd night rest while he does all the difficult jobs. It's often easier to give in to the baby's demands esp at the wee hours, but no, he doesn't. What is right and what's wrong is clearly spelt out.

I'm thankful that he manages the household while I go out to work. Spent a full day with the twins today at home coz they were sick n I was afraid Tt he can't handle. The twins were Gd to me. They nap for 1.5 hrs straight in the afternoon and I too nap for an hour. But even so, my patience drew thin by late afternoon. I was like a cranky baby, tired and frustrated . He took it all, he took over the rest despite doing more things, sleeping less, but he never complained. My man, my hero. =p

To stop or not

- Drafted on 13th Jan 2013-

Recently the thought of stopping breast feeding has been lingering on my mind. Two weeks ago When the kids had fallen sick n having even 6hrs of zz was a dream, it became a strong thought. I've decided to list down to prevent this post become a long winded entry .

Pros of weaning:
1) 母牛的日子已经九个月了
2) tired of pumping every 3 hrly
3) wean Grace off the breast so Tt:
- she won't keep waking up middle of night to latch
- she wont end up perpetually on my bed.
- so that daddy can do night closing/feeds.
4) more attention/time can b spent on the kids instead with the pump
5) fatigue

Cons:
1) increases their immunity. Grace was actually not sick coz she's still on BM but Vera caught the bug fr joy
2) I do enjoy nursing Grace even though it could b 3am .
3) ticket to snacking
4) dwindling supply makes pumping pointless but prolong periods could worsen situation.

I did prolong the pumping periods when the girls were sick coz I was really tired n determined to stop it. However I'm having second thoughts now Tt a helper can come, plus the sick days r almost over.( though I'm still v sick). I'm afraid of regretting my decision once it stops completely. I know I regretted It during joy era even though that was a much easier decision as I only pumped exclusively back then. Now it involves Grace.. Ahhhh! I know it's exaggerating n most likely she won't remember it but I do enjoy the attention now. Haha.. I like babies.. Esp before one yr old when their world revolves only us.. Haha.. Simple .

Daddy's gonna start the sleep training for grace today. I hope I can tahan the long night. God be with me and guide me in making the right decision for your children: in Jesus name I pray amen !

I'm down w fever. 37.8.. :(

- Drafted on 9th Jan 2013-

I'm down w fever. 37.8.. :(

Haven't had fever for a looong time that I can't even remember when was my last time. But today is the first time I regretted. Regretted that I made grace solely mine at night. I don't even know how or what to do tonight when she wakes up. Am I still going to continue feeding her? Or shld William juz take over and implement the changes ? Super pissed with myself for falling sick and even more pissed that I run the risk of spreading to the kids. Vera is still sick and everytime I c William feed her the many medicines, my heart hurt. I know they will all come out of it, being survivors. But the thought Tt I might spread to them is hurting me now. :(