What a month!

INTENSE is the word for my last four weeks.

I’m so thankful that I’m in a better place now. 

A client was upset with me (still is), and I’ve let go of it. 我没有错。我也解释了。It’s a long relationship, and he’s been with me for many years. So I’m sad about how things have turned out, but I’ve come to peace with how it is.

Ever since I did the Gallup strengths assessment, I’ve been more aware of my values and strengths; and how it torment me when certain values aren’t aligned with my core beliefs. 

The previous me will just 转牛角尖 & 想不通。

But now I could identify what’s the conflict etc, and why it’s tormenting me, and what are the things I can/cannot control. 

Another thing happened at work, but that has been resolved too. (Finally)

But that did cause a lot more tension in my little world, as I battled my own big emotions.. hahahaha.. 

I guess this is growth. This is the part of me that is still learning. 

I wanted to tender, cause I felt that the values weren’t aligned. 

I’ve always been someone who voices out as long as I don’t agree with things. And I did. Not because the event happened in my garden. It didn’t concern me directly or indirectly. But I still did it anyway. Cause CONSISTENCY is one of my top 5 strengths.. lol.. and I’m the kind if it’s not consistent, then sorry I can’t work with you anymore. 

I can’t. I just can’t. And that tormented me for days. Cause I didn’t have a plan B. 

Am I really going to sell my house and change our living standards just coz I can’t close two eyes? 

The torment and conflict 🤣🤣🤣

William says the family is willing to, cause there is no purpose in anything if I’m not happy. But even if we do that, what am I going to do in life? What skills do I have out of this?

Did a lot of soul searching and deep thinking during the last few weeks.

I had a huge ironing session - to clarify many things.   

Glad that I had a good talk with him. It repaired our relationship and also clarified many misunderstandings. All the “he say I say things”, and how we all have the same values of wanting to make the company a better place, but because of our roles, our priorities can be different. 

William and Leonard says I’ll drown in corporate life. 

I think I already did. 

This is me attending an event last week with new friends met this year. 

Happy and thankful that I stepped out of my tiny bubble, and didn’t let fear stop me from enjoying the learning. Thankful for the new friendship forged too.