Conflict management

明明知道他在生气，可我什么都没说。我也很气他。There isn’t the perfect solution and no one is 100% right or wrong. We each have our view points. 

I was angry that he wasn’t home when the kids fever shot up. He said he was at the new house checking out the lights installation. I was guilty of not being home bcoz I was still having back to back zooms. Who am I to be angry with? If I hadn’t packed that crazy, I could have been the one at home. And to make matters worse, I was having so much guilt that I just lashed at it when I came home. 

I know I shouldn’t have. I know he’s just trying to use his small pockets of time to do the best for the family. 

I’m torn. Between the angry man and my bedtime. I’m tired but I want to mend the cold war before it drags further. 

I’m torn bcoz this is the second/third week I felt that my family were compromised bcoz I worked too much. A friend ask me yesterday why I’m working so hard. My answer to her is bcoz I wanted to prove to those who placed their trust in me that 他们没有看错。要做就要做好，要不就不做。This too shall pass. It’s the initial phrase that’s harder, I know. This is the same for all new beginnings.

The thing abt being married for 17yrs means that in a conflict like this, I no longer say spiteful things. U know.. things like “let’s split. (Split 什么鬼)?” Or pack my bags and 回娘家。lol… just suck thumb and try to look intently in his shoes and realize that 我们都错，可是我们都是为这个家付出。

I cried myself to sleep coz we were both tired. But he did kiss me in the morning before sending Vera to sch. So we are good