My cheerleaders

The company posted me and my achievements 1 day after my bday, which isn’t something uncommon. What was surprising was when I saw this:

One of my sister/therapist/girlfriend reposted this on her IG! 

I felt a rojak of emotions la.. as usual.. hahaha.. and I text her to say Thanks! Her reply was even more amazing. She said that both she and her hubby are so proud of me… she is so kind. 

It was a simple gesture but it made me v 感动。If someone who isn’t even related to me or in this industry can do this, certainly the hermit/low self esteem me can do better in promoting myself right !? And so I reposted this today. 

I also listed down the reasons why I wanted to be a leader again and most importantly, I decided that since I wanna be a leader I shouldn’t hide behind anymore. If my objective is to want to help advisers, then I should find them. I should put my focus in training, in recruitment, in fishing. I shouldn’t hide behind my personal sales appts. 

Such lofty aspiration. 

Talk is cheap. 

I saw the photos that some of my fellow peers posted on a gala dinner tonight, and wondered if the statement I said 5mins ago hold any truth. 

How is it that my immediate thoughts was “Heng I didn’t go.” lol… hahahahaha.. instead of “wow, I manage to mingle and talk to xxx…” 

Is this really the right job for me? 

Change is uncomfortable. 

I wished I stepped into this when I was much younger, when my skin was thicker.. Hahaah.. now many things also think 2000 permutations before I consider again. 

I wished I can c the transformed lena or have a glimpse of it now, so that I know the uncomfortable change is worth the mile. 

I wished I could be the convincing leader that stands in front and delivers a charismatic speech. 

Like what Joleen says, “There is only 1 LKY. I need to find my style and personality.” 

But what if I can’t find it? What if I was never meant to be a leader? 

Will I look at this msg in time to come, and smile? Or will I be chasing my tail endlessly?