Change for the better

Just did my 2nd swim this week and feeling super shiok over it! Though there was a minor scare during the swim coz I saw a mermaid while swimming in the dark. My vision isn't that good at night and I thought a tail swam past me during the 2nd lap..n when I returned again, I saw the whole mermaid! Some adult bought the tail and swim with it..🤣🤣🤣 next time I shall ask her where she got it from..hahahah.. can work on my core muscles..

This is the week to get back in shape after all the holiday feasting. Back to healthy eating and exercising twice a week. Been too indulgent with all the partying that I've put on 3 kg since nov! Omg! The goal this yr is to lose another 10kg and reach 65! I can do it! 💪💪💪

In other news, I will b doing a mini sharing next week in office..omg.. public speaking (again).. it's a love hate relationship.. love to step out of my comfort zone and improve on myself; hate it bcoz it's super uncomfortable. Hope that God grants me the wisdom to make a positive impact; and that I wont screw up la.. in Jesus name I pray amen! 

03.02.2005 received this bouquet of sunflowers 🌻 from u. I felt irritated that u kept haunting me like a ghost despite severing our ties moons ago. 我觉定那晚约你 肯你说清楚. 

Having just ended my 2nd r/s, I have no plans or mood to start another 感情. I just wanted him to stop pestering me. He picked me up and we drove for a long time before reaching "dunno where". 

When I alighted, God said to me in the most assertive voice, "Lena, this man is the most suited man for you. If you pass him by, more eligible men would come but none as suitable as him". 

And with that, I decided to marry him. 

That was exactly 15yrs ago. To make that decision, my friends thought I was crazy. My mom wanted to disown me.

July 2005 when we were 15 yrs younger 

To say that God works in amazing ways, is a huge understatement. I never felt so peaceful that eventful night. And we got married 1 yr later, on 11.06.2006. Though my parents weren't approving, I was firm and they knew there was no other way around it. 

Left: our wedding pic; right: at photo studio before wedding 

Fast forward and it's been 15 yrs since that fateful night. Time flies in super speed and before u know it, we are classified as "老夫老妻". On some days, I stand in awe of God's perfect timing for us. If I had gone ahead to apply a BTO with william in 2003, (yes he did the bto proposal), I wont have cherish our r/s. I would have taken him for granted, and we probably wont be together by now. My plans are not always God's plans but His plans are always for my best interests. When we got back together, I appreciated him more and also understood what I needed. We would eventually be lifelong partners and role models for our kids. 

On "battle" nights, I cried out to God..why why.. did I hear Him wrongly? Did He really say best suited? Lol... we went thru many rounds of ironing and realignment to be the Mr & Mrs Choo today. I'm thankful that God is in the centre of our union.

Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.

Deuteronomy 7:9 NIV

https://deuteronomy.bible/deuteronomy-7-9

2019

sleepless night..

Had this during my 2pm appt at TCC.. it was soooooo good.. but 5 mins into it, I regretted it. The caffeine was so strong that I knew I would have trouble falling asleep at night. And I was right. 1am and my eyes are wide open. I need to wake up at 545am tomorrow morning coz I have to drop joy in sch before going for my 830am appt at botanical gardens; followed by a luncheon at fort canning; back to pick joy from her school; then back to home to pick the rest before going to my mama house for a cny relatives gathering. I'm so dead. I know. The long drives plus the social activities would leave me hungry for a recharge. I would be lucky if I could at least last til the end of the morning appt and hopefully catch a nap in the car before going for the luncheon. Or I could skip it, but i promised J that i would go with her.. and it would b nice to take some nice photos there too..

We are entering Feb soon.. I'm looking forward to it..  fixed a couple of appts today and I'm going back to swimming/ exercise next week! Yeah! No more excuse. Need to work those muscles to burn the holiday calories..hahaha... 

And I hope I can zzzz soon.. omg.. why didnt I realize that its double espresso..argh it reminded me of the affogato I had with JM in Vancouver and that was splendid too..lol..

happy cny!

Did our first cny hosting at our new place.. was nice to have such gatherings again..

when we were more youthful - feb 2016

The last time we had it was in 2016, when we were still at our HDB. Coz it was impossible to host it at Jewel. And also bcoz it was difficult to invite some without offending others. There, I said it. The hard truth. It was less complicated when we were younger, when we were friends rather than colleagues. And as the company expands, differences enter and sometimes it's just difficult for all to be on the same page la.. that's the main reason why we stopped hosting. Coz it was just too tiring to please everyone. 

But 2020, i decided that heck la.. for anything to change, I shall change first. Even though it might b a tiny tiny step towards change, I  shall do what pleases me..lol..and my minuscule contribution towards improving ties/friendships. 

I'm thankful for all who has made a footprint in my life, and even though I'm not a friend-keeper, I'm thankful for the friendships forged, some stronger than before, some long forgotten.. well, it's time to change what I can change, and move forward.. 😘😘😘

Goodbye 🐷, harlow 🐭

We are getting there.. probably settling down to the new place soon, in the midst of the many cny hostings.. the twins cant be happier that they finally can scoot again! They didnt get to do it at jewel coz there wasnt the space to do it then.. happy with the pool/playground/scooting fun..

A a resident lend them this float while at the pool.

this is a huge carousel by any standards..lol..

Before we say goodbye to the 🐷 year, just wanna take this chance to give thanks. 

Thankful that we found this place, and even though it isn't near the mrt, the twins and I are really enjoying the benefits of staying near the school. There were days where they only woke up at 645 and we would reach school by 715. Tight, but not late.. hahaha.. 

Thankful that Joy is adjusting well to her new school. As of now, she has been talking on and on about her fantastic her secondary school is, and how glad most of her classmates are like her - first yr in the school.. blah blah blah.. 

Thankful that I've rested for 2 mths..lol.. dec and jan have been great, just simply being with the kids and not working much (oops!) .. just trying to take things easy at each season.. work will come from feb onwards and I will accept whatever plans my Lord has for me..

Thankful that everyone at home are healthy; that's most impt to me. Health and time with them.. 

Praying that God protect us from the flu epidemic.. trying not to over react even though most places have ran out of surgical masks.. my God is my shepherd..

Impromptu BKK

Saying goodbye to mama duties! So glad we did this impromptu trip! It was pretty last min, and I was hesitant of traveling with my BFFs for fear that it would ruin our friendship when we come back..lol.. I'm glad we came back stronger. 

We manage to eat some awesome food; some hits and some misses; did some crazy shopping and had many heart to heart chit chat sessions..

After checking in: I was kinda worried that I would sleep talk too much at nights and disturb their beauty sleeps..

Lunch on the first day followed by my fav kind of desserts..hahaha.. 

who could have imagine that we had fried chicken for breakfast on the 2nd day! It was their promise that we going to have some awesome fried chicken after I cleared my COT. The chicken was nice, but the pork cheek was awesome! Lol...so is the company..

crazy shopping at platinum mall..the boba milk tea was soooooo good.. and obviously only jiamin and I couldn't resist the sweet drinks..hahahah.. 

The good thing abt shopping with girls of different sizes and styles is that we could exchange our loots if it didnt suit us! Hahahaha.. overall we were pretty happy with our purchases / exchanges.. happy shopping!

Briefly mentioned to Jiamin that we had some super nice thai-Italian food on our last trip and she managed to find the place, when I couldn't even remember the name of the restaurant! She is the foodie planner - where and what to eat; Joleen is the map planner - which streets/ shops that we have covered and where to head next.. I'm the shopaholic with a checklist on what I wanna get at platinum mall..hahaha.. 

Day 3 - aka flying home day

we did something different and went for a brunch at a palace gardens..lol..

The palace gardens had legit food and scenery! We spend the whole afternoon there. It was nice to just laze by the pond and watch the swans instead of doing part 2 of crazy shopping..hahahah... 

And our last pic before we board our flight home..lol..

I've known Joleen for 16 yrs but there are still new things I got to know abt her on this trip! An amazing and capable woman, who wears many many hats. 

It's only after this trip that I realize we got closer to JM abt10yrs ago after the "split".. lol.. 我们的天真的小妹，我们的小白兔，到现在除了是3个孩子的妈，她还是一样的天真善良。

emo.emo

Havent been sleeping well for the last few days.. woke up like 4am to pee and became wide awake.. 😭

Joleen said it's my pre-travel (w/0 family) syndrome..lol.. mayb thats part of the reason..but I'm really looking forward to traveling with the 2 of them.. it's our first trip together without anyone else.. hahaha.. n it's really really short.. flying off on mon and coming back on wed so that mama duties wont b heavily affected..lol.. 

Or mayb its bcoz I saw this on my darling instagram.. and this was right after we had fun and laughter over 1-to-1 supper time, after topping up her love tank.. i know she is struggling, struggling to get over the broken friendships at primary.. but I was still surprised t0 see this, right after our deliberate efforts to engage her, to be there for her. She doesnt say much abt what happened and I could only try to piece the missing pieces here and there.. e.g. when I realize that she doesnt even know where her "BFFs" are posted to or when she no longer talks abt them.. or her occasional sleepless nights/panic attacks.

It's so tough to grow up.. she felt ostracized (I guess) for her outspokeness; her mature self a stark contrast to her classmates who are still into unicorns and elsa..

She needs to know that she doesn't need the world to love her, but this knowledge is something that even I as an adult, started to embrace only in the last decade or so.. I was tempted to peep into her hp (should I?), but william felt that we should give her space, so that she has the room to grow.. 

Its tough being a parent of a pre-teen; yes, the diaper days and sleepless nights are over.. but along comes different challenges that I pray, God will guide me along as I entrust my kids onto Him. 

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord , whose confidence is in him.

Jeremiah 17:7 NIV

https://jeremiah.bible/jeremiah-17-7