Milestone unlocked

This is me during training today. Today’s my turn to conduct our collab meeting.

I thought I was better with my nerves but this morning suddenly, pang! All the nerves just slap me on my face. 

Did I crash in the training? I think I did decent enough.. in fact today was the first time I felt stomach cramps before and even after the meeting. Never happened before, but if this continues, probably going to kiss the speaker dream forever goodbye. Hahahahaha 

Angela says that nerves will never go away. I just need to acknowledge their presence and get used to it. Probably. I like this reframe. 

I thought I did well for today. Not sure if everyone felt the same? Maybe it’s I ownself praise ownself.. hahahaha.. 

关关难过，关关过。

Just grateful that today is finally over. Did the best I can for today’s training. 

I like to give trainings coz it’s fulfilling when I see people’s eye sparkle after that. And also coz it’s just a way of paying it forward. 

Maybe I shouldn’t wish that the nerves to go away. They are here coz these people matter to me. So I should maybe wish for them to be here all the time? Hahahahah.. 

Fulfilling day. Grateful. 

Going for supper with my comfort friends.. hahaha.. 

One of the rare times where I'm not rushing to anywhere.. not trying to reply to 101 emails/whatsapp or having 200 things trying to check it away. 

I'm in a nice Mexican cafe, waiting for my my work-kid to come over for lunch.. she's not late. I'm early.

The first quarter just flew past. I didn't even remember what kept me so busy. I didn't even had that many appts to be honest. 

Today is a great day, sun is out. I had a morning work zoom, that I thought i should have prepared for more. But what's done is done. Then this work lunch with my kid, then 3pm client appt. 

Thankful that this period has been quite peaceful, not mad hectic. 

I even went for a networking lunch yesterday and did lotsa of recording in office..lol.. I see an improvement over time, but i also noticed a drop in energy after doing it for too much.hahahah.. work in progress.. 

Growth is uncomfortable, but I'm thankful that I get to try new things, appreciate life.

Today is good.

Throwback to last Monday

 The hubby booked me for lunch today, on a Monday afternoon where I’m usually the busiest. And to top it off, today is my video shoot! 

Alrdy feeling the whole of nerves over that and he has to do lunch today. 

But yes I appreciate his initiative, to still bring me out. I’m considering if I should tell him “pls no Mondays  next time.. or should I just prioritize him n make my Mondays less hectic” 

Thankful for a hubby that still dates me even though I should have book him for his bday. In a way, I’m guilty that I should have booked him for a lunch date, but I was so packed that he took matters into his hands... 没有心的老婆.. 🤣🤣🤣

What we did at the shoot. Thankful that Chengyi and Angela were there. If not I would have died.. hahahaha.. 

Not sure how it would end up like but we shall see. 

Growth is uncomfortable, so is fear, and unknown. Thankful for the cheerleaders in this journey. 

I wrote a small note in the morning. The purpose of us doing a shoot, to do up our branding etc.. it’s not coz I wanted to be an influencer, or a celebrity. But I hope thru my tiny efforts, bring those who want to know abt this career find us, to encourage women to not just settle, but believe that the sky is the limit. 

Learning a new sport

Learning a new sport at 45 is scary. 

Especially when I haven’t been a sporty person all my life. 

I always tell my friends: 

“球太大，我怕打到我。球太小，我接不到。” 

But I didn’t want to say no to Rachel for the third time. She has been organizing it every month, for our team. Says it’s to exercise together to work towards a healthier lifestyle, and not simply work work work. She did quietly tell me that it also helps save me money coz we can do team bonding very affordabily.  

真的是让我又爱又恨的小朋友。❤️

And so I went today. Even though I played out 101 excuses to fly them at the last minute, even though I’m not sure how it would end. 

Ming started with warm up, and even before it ended, I thought I was FINISHED. 

Hahahaha… 

Then we played. Small simple exercises at the start, then eventually the respective courts depending on yr skill level. 

I actually enjoyed myself more than I expected. 

Even though my muscles still aching like crazy as I’m writing this. 

Even though none of my comfort kakis are here. 

It used to bother me a lot when they didn’t come. In fact none of my seniors came. 

But I realize that I wouldn’t have come if I was an adviser even if my boss had organized. 

And I’m completely okay with it now. 

We all have 24 hours a day. 

I spend some time out of my comfort zone today and I’m proud of myself. 

I had no expectations or disappointment on the actions of others.

I’m proud of my own realisation. And I’m enjoying this moment of ME now. 

I’m thankful. 

Thankful for the growth.

P/S: Told Rachel my social battery was flat after I parted ways with them. She asked why? Especially since it’s my own team! I told her that my mind had less than 5 sentences that’s non work related.. hahaha.. just socially awkward. Hahahaha..

Emotional Comfort

Had a brownie and some ice cream after my afternoon zoom. 

Needed some comfort food cause Mondays are tough, especially when I have 3 physical appts and 1 zoom today.

Needed comfort coz I felt helpless in my zoom appt. It was a review with my client. He’s a hawker, and his wife is a homemaker and they have 2 primary school kids. Their mthly income isn’t a lot and isn’t stable. So there are months where they had to dip into savings. 

I’ve been nudging them to apply for BTO after their failed first attempt. Failed cause they didn’t manage to get the loan approved. And before we knew it, the property prices shot the roof and getting another BTO just seem more and more difficult. 

Moments like this I wished I could do more to help. Offer them a job, or show them to another career that will be able to pay them better. 

Hopefully by the next review things will turn around for them. 

Protecting Boundaries

Yesterday, one of my advisers SOS and asked if she could have a crash course today at 11am about a particular product. 

The usual me would have say yes immediately. After all, it must be an emergency. 

But I stopped myself. Instead, I suggested that she come for my afternoon team training so that I can go thru with her. 

I’ve taught this product several times in office before. But she didn’t attend. 

She said she couldn’t attend the afternoon session and will find her way out. 

It’s a struggle to say no. But 2026, I want to be more protective of my time and the people important to me. 

I don’t know when or how long it started but my priority list / time allocation for 2025 somehow became:

Advisers -> Clients -> Family -> William -> me

I said yes to any of my advisers who needed an emergency training, case study, or anything. My time with my kids suffered. My marriage too. And lastly, I had only scraps for myself. 

I was burnt out, felt like a rabbit chasing my own tail. My client appts suffered too, cause I hardly had much energy to think properly. Each appt goal was to end it ASAP. 

So after a session with my coach, I’ve set out healthier hrs and boundaries for each area that’s important to me. 

I’m thankful for the break now, so that I can think clearly. Thankful that I can take a pause and not feel guilty. 

To many more learning lessons ❤️

Reflections 2025

Had wanted to book a date with myself again, in a cafe and do my annual reflections, but time spaced me out. 

Nonetheless there are so many things to be grateful for in 2025.

1. My kids and I survived 2025! 🎉 looking back, we more than survived! We SLAYED!!! 

Relationships got better. I had more time with everyone, except grace. The last couple of weeks kinda reminded me that I really should spend more time with her. 

2. My marriage. Thankful that God protected and guarded over our marriage. We got lazy over the years, but I’m thankful that we managed to talk abt it and putting more effort into it now.

 

3. Work. If you ask me 2 years ago, if I would be able to lead and grow the IWM today, or to even lead with such confidence, I wouldn’t have thought possible. Ever so grateful that I stepped into this unfamiliar turf, and grew so much! Learnt so much over the last 1 year and got so fulfilled growing with them. Even if I were to drop dead today, I’m thankful for all that I’ve done. Hahaha.. morbid but ya. 

4. My work kids. The final figures aren’t out yet, but I know the few that has confirmed hitting their best year ever. Proud mama moment. 

So thankful for the opportunity to lead, inspire and touch lives. God, I’m so grateful for you, for sending angels to guard over me, when I was fearful, when I was tempted, when I was unsure. God, I pray that You continue to lead me, as I lead your sheep, so that more can come to know you. In Jesus name I pray, amen! 

Count my blessings

A huge case that I’ve been following up has flew. 

My heart shattered💔

It’s heartbreaking coz I was really depending on it to hit my TOT. My garden is barren, the few people I’m texting doesn’t seem ready. 

The irony of it all slapping at my face. Just like how I try to motivate my audience, and then here I am, feeling downcast. 

I woke up from my nap abruptly deciding to count my blessings. 

So here goes:

1. I have a healthy son who’s napping with me currently. He’s a joy, and blessing from God. 
2. I have a husband who loves me to the fullest, and he is healthy too. 
3. I have a team of advisers who dote and look up to me. 
4. I have my band of sisters who are always there to listen to my rants whenever I feel down. 
5. I have clients who love me and trust me fully.
6. I am earning way more than a lot of people I know. 
7. I’m learning new things every week and it excites me that I can have the freedom to learn such things without compromising my family lifestyle. 
8. I’ve done my best to convince some clients to top up their coverage and even though they decide not to, I’ve done my best. 
9. I still enjoy doing my work, I’m passionate with it. 
10. I’m healthy, and I have 4 beautiful kids who squabble all day long. I love them even though it can be challenging at times. But I’m thankful that they made me who I am today. 

Thankful for this reflection. It reminds me that despite of what happened, I have so much more. I’m thankful. 

I’m not going to give up just yet. But I’m also not going to let the stress chase me out of my mind. Will do my best, to reach out to my clients, provide value, and updates. And whatever happens, is all up to God. 

Just do my best and let Him do the rest. 

Thankful that I’m able to still have the support and the health to do what drives me. 

感恩🥹

I am ❤️

 I’ve always felt NOT GOOD ENOUGH. 

Not good enough when I first lead the team, not good enough when I first joined this advisory business, not good enough even in my teens and earlier. 

But I never asked myself why I felt this way before. 

Until I did the discovery call with Rae. And she asked.

Why do I feel this way when I have so many accolades? When will I ever feel enough? When did I first felt not enough? 

It led to many aha moments. 

I realized that my first memory of it was when I was in my primary school, my smart sibling would always do so much so much better (without studying), while I would study and revise so much and barely passed. 

This was my first memory of it. 

And I realized that it was so silly as I look back. 

And yesterday, I finally asked my advisers “Why did you join me? Why didn’t you choose someone else more capable? Have you regretted? your choice?”

A few were shocked. They thought I was the obvious choice. 

“Producer, leading a team, mother.. how many are there that fits this profile? Why are you asking this!??” one of my Kia asked. 

I was shocked by her reply. Coz she’s also a producer.. and I was humbled and touched by her words. 

I am good enough. 

I might not be the most handsome or earn the most. But I am enough for my tribe, for those who voted for me. 

As I look at the chile qualifiers for my team, I am proud. 

We have so many of us this year. Even when so many are still walking out of maternity etc. 

So thankful for the change in perspective !

我是最好的。Im doing the best i can, as a mother, as a wife, as an adviser and lastly as a FSD! 

I am super proud of how far I’ve come. 

I’ve just done two rounds of training. I did well. Let’s not go down the critical “can be better” route. 

From now on, I want to be nicer to me, myself. 

I’ve done well. Thank you for putting yourself out there, when you didn’t need to. Thank you for challenging yourself to do what you never think possible. Thank you for stepping out of yr comfort zone. 

我很棒❤️

 

Really wanted to report sick and cancel the trip. But William nudged me not to; so did Angela. 

I’m so thankful for the many angels around me; people who know me so well, people who will guard and protect me. It’s as if they know my emo is acting up again, and thus they send well meaning messages, just to check on things.

I wrote a post about Joleen today and text her to thank her for being her in my life. I think I gave her a shock more than a surprise. She asked if everything’s Okie etc. it send a chuckle into my heart and how fortunate I am, to have the love showered upon me by so many people. 

I’m still the emo me. But the me now wants to use whatever I can, to inspire and touch the lives of the people around me, to impact their lives and create a more meaningful purpose. 

所以我还是去了。

A thankful heart

The birthday came and left. My heart is filled with gratitude for all the love and messages received. 

Birthdays hold a different meaning especially as I grow older.

When I was in my 20s or younger, birthdays meant big celebrations; loud parties 🥳. My goals then was to just earn as much as I can, so that I can prove to my parents that this career was right. 

When I was in my 30s, I just wanted more TIME for my family. The balance between being there for the kids vs having a decent career was what drives me. 

Now that I’m in my 40s, I just wanna bask in the current moment - to enjoy what’s on my plate, my friends, my health and my time now. 

When I read some of the msgs written by my kids @ work yesterday, my heart is filled with gratitude. Almost wanted to cry 🤣🤣🤣 让我又爱又烦的小朋友。

Thankful for the opportunity to lead, to inspire, to support them, to see each of them grow in their baby steps. And that fulfils me. 

With a grateful heart and a tummy full of yummy cakes! Thank you God!

Small victories!

Just wanna record a fulfilling day for me. 

Finally launched my first e-book online! Although there was quite a few hiccups here and there, I’m glad that I managed to pull it thru! Like how I spended more time than I expected in drafting the book, doing up the web link and then friends say they didn’t receive the copy. Somehow the web link had some glitches! And I couldn’t resolve it coz by then I had a team lunch with my work kids followed by our team bonding event. 

I’m happy that they enjoyed the event. Everyone who came managed to know each other a little better I guess. 

I was the only one who went on to fix a work appt in office! Kinda regret my decision.. lol.. coz I was so sweaty and smelly by the time the team building. . 

Thankfully the clients came on time and I even managed to close an unexpected case from that appt! Praise the Lord!! 

Thankful for a great Thursday! My heart is full. 

If anyone would like to download my e-book, here’s the link too: https://mailchi.mp/lenafinancemama/first-finance-book

I struggled to think if I should post this - be it on my LinkedIn or here. But this is my safe space. So here it is. 

一分耕耘 一分收获

Behind the glamour and recognition, there are so many people quietly supporting me to where I am. The hubby who took full shift of the kids just so that I could work without guilt and fear. The colleagues who cheered for me and pulled me along when I doubted myself. My cheerleaders who simply listened and cheered as I fought my way thru. 

My goal this year is TOT. Not COT. So yes I’m behind schedule. Hahaha.. I know. 

Why did I wanna do such a crazy goal?

Cause I believe actions speak louder than words. Because I feel that this is my way of showing my kids@work that everything is possible, as long as they try. 

If God is willing, I’ll do my best and trust that He will do the rest.

2 rounds done, 4 more to go! Let’s go! 🎉