Day 9 of solo parenting

话真的不可以说得太早。 

One of those days when everything felt overwhelming; exhausting, and one where I just wanna whisked myself into thin air. 

Vera hasn’t been in her mood for the last few days, and no amt of “letting her do her way” has done anything to help. 

Joash is a close 2nd. 

Grace has been very sweet in attending to her twin’s needs but equally triggering next to Joash. 

Counting down to 1 last night. 

I think I’m coming down to something too.. either the hormones or I’m getting sick soon.. 

This too shall pass. Amen!

Happy Mothers Day!

This must be the most number of bouquets I’ve received in a week! 

No I’m not showing off. Just super grateful for the love showered by many. 

孩子好像长大了。 I even got a bouquet from Joy too!

I don’t quite remember when was the last time she bought flowers for me.. usually Mothers Day meant bringing the kids out for a meal, or they would write a card for me.. 

But this week, they have all given me gifts in their own special ways. 

Grace baked cream puffs which were so nice… 

Vera volunteered to take care of Joash.. they are so lovely dovely that they wanted to nap today.. and that explains why I can’t nap on my bed 🤣🤣🤣

Joash made bf for me this morning! And he even told me that he would take the train to his swim class, so that I can take the morning off to REST! 

感恩小朋友好像真的长大了。就算只有今天，我也很感谢🥹

Awwwwwwww my heart is filled with gratitude. 

William even send a second bouquet of flowers today, so that I wouldn’t be lonely.

 Few more days before he comes back from his sabbatical. Looking forward! 

Thank you for letting me be yr mama all these years! 

Delayed emotions

Suddenly felt a dash of emotions today when I realize that both uncle choo and joy would be away for the next 10 days… 

And I’m going to hold the font while they are up in their respective mountains 🥹

This is how I’m feeling now. Probably started since last night when I couldn’t really zzz.. 

It got so bad that I skipped my afternoon nap today.. 

I know it’s only 10 days and they will be back faster than I realize. Just a tingling fear abt the worse case scenario:

1. what if joy had some mishaps during outfield ? 
2. What if uncle choo got lost in his jungle trekking? 
3. What if things got so overwhelming at home and I end up screaming / killing the other kids ? 🥹🤣🤣🤣 
4. Grace even ask who should she save first if I put the remote control or vera phone into the freezer? (Happened before)

I know this too shall pass… Haiz.. I should mull over a cup of Nutella .. Hahahhaha.. that thought itself gave me a smile 😊 

They will be 14 tomorrow. How time flies. 

I remember how those early days were - always overwhelmed; always exhausted; always tired and even if I wanted to fight with Uncle, using that time to sleep felt more important. 

The days are long but the years short. 

I guess there is some truth to it. 

Grace was just reminding me recently that the current house is the only house where vera and her stuff wasn’t thrown out of the house! lol…  those years had been so hard, coz she is as stubborn as me; more sensitive / emo than me; and more whiny.. it’s like Lena 2.0. 

Recently it’s nice to just hug and cuddle her. I think I might invite her to my bed when William goes for his sabbatical break. 

I’m not a perfect mom. We fight so much then. I/We cried so much; either together or alone on my bed. 

Thankful that even though things aren’t perfect, we make it thru. 

One of the rare times where I'm not rushing to anywhere.. not trying to reply to 101 emails/whatsapp or having 200 things trying to check it away. 

I'm in a nice Mexican cafe, waiting for my my work-kid to come over for lunch.. she's not late. I'm early.

The first quarter just flew past. I didn't even remember what kept me so busy. I didn't even had that many appts to be honest. 

Today is a great day, sun is out. I had a morning work zoom, that I thought i should have prepared for more. But what's done is done. Then this work lunch with my kid, then 3pm client appt. 

Thankful that this period has been quite peaceful, not mad hectic. 

I even went for a networking lunch yesterday and did lotsa of recording in office..lol.. I see an improvement over time, but i also noticed a drop in energy after doing it for too much.hahahah.. work in progress.. 

Growth is uncomfortable, but I'm thankful that I get to try new things, appreciate life.

Today is good.

Peaceful Easter Weekend

This is by far one of the most peaceful Easter weekends I ever had.. i remember for the longest time when the girls were little, the long weekend often meant many meltdowns, endless cryings and battles after battles.. i tried to search on my blog, but i probably can't find it. Just a snippet of Easter here

Anyway this weekend, I went to NUS with joy.. the last time i was here with her was 9 yrs ago! And I drove past that college today too..How time flies when that NUS visit was initiated by her school back then to encourage the kids to be motivated to study hard so that they can go to a better university when they grow up.. 

Now that kid has grown up. She's going for her BMT on Tuesday, and overseas uni in Sep.. that little bun.. my little baby..

Uncle Choo whipped up a feast today.. as a farewell treat for the firstborn ba.. 

But little did I know that as I was chatting with him at the end of the dinner, he was overwhelmed with emotions.. 

"I'm not ready for her next phrase of life.." he said softly..

My quiet giant.. 🥹🥹🥹

I know he's proud of her. I am too. And even though we are proud of her achievements, and how sensible she has blossomed over the years, this moment is HARD. She made us parents first.. its as if she's our first teacher..lol.. 

Praying that God continue to guide her in her next season, that God comfort my CEO, that he has peace in his heart. 

THank you Jesus for everything! Amen!

Throwback to last Monday

 The hubby booked me for lunch today, on a Monday afternoon where I’m usually the busiest. And to top it off, today is my video shoot! 

Alrdy feeling the whole of nerves over that and he has to do lunch today. 

But yes I appreciate his initiative, to still bring me out. I’m considering if I should tell him “pls no Mondays  next time.. or should I just prioritize him n make my Mondays less hectic” 

Thankful for a hubby that still dates me even though I should have book him for his bday. In a way, I’m guilty that I should have booked him for a lunch date, but I was so packed that he took matters into his hands... 没有心的老婆.. 🤣🤣🤣

What we did at the shoot. Thankful that Chengyi and Angela were there. If not I would have died.. hahahaha.. 

Not sure how it would end up like but we shall see. 

Growth is uncomfortable, so is fear, and unknown. Thankful for the cheerleaders in this journey. 

I wrote a small note in the morning. The purpose of us doing a shoot, to do up our branding etc.. it’s not coz I wanted to be an influencer, or a celebrity. But I hope thru my tiny efforts, bring those who want to know abt this career find us, to encourage women to not just settle, but believe that the sky is the limit.