How much is a litre of confidence?

I talked abt this several times on my blog. 

https://pigletchoo.blogspot.com/2023/12/lessons.html?m=1

Looking back, I’m definitely more confident now compared to 2yrs ago. 

And I’m happy where I am now. 

I’m thankful I didn’t surrender when things felt overwhelming.

I’m thankful for the opportunity to grow, and grow tremendously which I didn’t expect. 

I’m thankful to have my band of cheerleaders who stood by me, waiting to just give me a hug whenever I feel like crying. You know who u are. 

On a personal note, I finally decided to hold a celebration for our 20th wedding anniversary. It’s been on my mind since my 10th anniversary, but I got lazy/distracted/overwhelmed. 

And then a whimsical trip to JB, I found myself wanting to do it again. Cause 20 yrs is a milestone. 

”我不知道我们还会有多一个20年吗？” that was what I told uncle Choo.. 

Thoughts of death or even the vulnerability of marriage kept lingering in my mind. 

So I decided, let’s do it! 

Looking for a venue to do a small cozy little party for now. 

Hope I wouldn’t give up and cancel it by the next post! Hahahaha.. 

Learning a new sport

Learning a new sport at 45 is scary. 

Especially when I haven’t been a sporty person all my life. 

I always tell my friends: 

“球太大，我怕打到我。球太小，我接不到。” 

But I didn’t want to say no to Rachel for the third time. She has been organizing it every month, for our team. Says it’s to exercise together to work towards a healthier lifestyle, and not simply work work work. She did quietly tell me that it also helps save me money coz we can do team bonding very affordabily.  

真的是让我又爱又恨的小朋友。❤️

And so I went today. Even though I played out 101 excuses to fly them at the last minute, even though I’m not sure how it would end. 

Ming started with warm up, and even before it ended, I thought I was FINISHED. 

Hahahaha… 

Then we played. Small simple exercises at the start, then eventually the respective courts depending on yr skill level. 

I actually enjoyed myself more than I expected. 

Even though my muscles still aching like crazy as I’m writing this. 

Even though none of my comfort kakis are here. 

It used to bother me a lot when they didn’t come. In fact none of my seniors came. 

But I realize that I wouldn’t have come if I was an adviser even if my boss had organized. 

And I’m completely okay with it now. 

We all have 24 hours a day. 

I spend some time out of my comfort zone today and I’m proud of myself. 

I had no expectations or disappointment on the actions of others.

I’m proud of my own realisation. And I’m enjoying this moment of ME now. 

I’m thankful. 

Thankful for the growth.

P/S: Told Rachel my social battery was flat after I parted ways with them. She asked why? Especially since it’s my own team! I told her that my mind had less than 5 sentences that’s non work related.. hahaha.. just socially awkward. Hahahaha..

Emotional Comfort

Had a brownie and some ice cream after my afternoon zoom. 

Needed some comfort food cause Mondays are tough, especially when I have 3 physical appts and 1 zoom today.

Needed comfort coz I felt helpless in my zoom appt. It was a review with my client. He’s a hawker, and his wife is a homemaker and they have 2 primary school kids. Their mthly income isn’t a lot and isn’t stable. So there are months where they had to dip into savings. 

I’ve been nudging them to apply for BTO after their failed first attempt. Failed cause they didn’t manage to get the loan approved. And before we knew it, the property prices shot the roof and getting another BTO just seem more and more difficult. 

Moments like this I wished I could do more to help. Offer them a job, or show them to another career that will be able to pay them better. 

Hopefully by the next review things will turn around for them. 

Protecting Boundaries

Yesterday, one of my advisers SOS and asked if she could have a crash course today at 11am about a particular product. 

The usual me would have say yes immediately. After all, it must be an emergency. 

But I stopped myself. Instead, I suggested that she come for my afternoon team training so that I can go thru with her. 

I’ve taught this product several times in office before. But she didn’t attend. 

She said she couldn’t attend the afternoon session and will find her way out. 

It’s a struggle to say no. But 2026, I want to be more protective of my time and the people important to me. 

I don’t know when or how long it started but my priority list / time allocation for 2025 somehow became:

Advisers -> Clients -> Family -> William -> me

I said yes to any of my advisers who needed an emergency training, case study, or anything. My time with my kids suffered. My marriage too. And lastly, I had only scraps for myself. 

I was burnt out, felt like a rabbit chasing my own tail. My client appts suffered too, cause I hardly had much energy to think properly. Each appt goal was to end it ASAP. 

So after a session with my coach, I’ve set out healthier hrs and boundaries for each area that’s important to me. 

I’m thankful for the break now, so that I can think clearly. Thankful that I can take a pause and not feel guilty. 

To many more learning lessons ❤️

Reflections 2025

Had wanted to book a date with myself again, in a cafe and do my annual reflections, but time spaced me out. 

Nonetheless there are so many things to be grateful for in 2025.

1. My kids and I survived 2025! 🎉 looking back, we more than survived! We SLAYED!!! 

Relationships got better. I had more time with everyone, except grace. The last couple of weeks kinda reminded me that I really should spend more time with her. 

2. My marriage. Thankful that God protected and guarded over our marriage. We got lazy over the years, but I’m thankful that we managed to talk abt it and putting more effort into it now.

 

3. Work. If you ask me 2 years ago, if I would be able to lead and grow the IWM today, or to even lead with such confidence, I wouldn’t have thought possible. Ever so grateful that I stepped into this unfamiliar turf, and grew so much! Learnt so much over the last 1 year and got so fulfilled growing with them. Even if I were to drop dead today, I’m thankful for all that I’ve done. Hahaha.. morbid but ya. 

4. My work kids. The final figures aren’t out yet, but I know the few that has confirmed hitting their best year ever. Proud mama moment. 

So thankful for the opportunity to lead, inspire and touch lives. God, I’m so grateful for you, for sending angels to guard over me, when I was fearful, when I was tempted, when I was unsure. God, I pray that You continue to lead me, as I lead your sheep, so that more can come to know you. In Jesus name I pray, amen! 

Small steps

 I love swimming. But I haven’t swam in mths. 

Sick. Weather. Overwhelmed. Just didn’t feel like it. 

Didn’t feel like crawling out of my comfy couch. Wanted to 躺平 til the end of life.. 

But I did it today. Walked out of all the “weeds” trying to convince me not to. 

“U have 4 appts today. U should prepare them” 

“The son will be upset if he finds out u swam without him”

“The water is too cold” 

一千个理由。 

I’m tired of being a sofa. I wanna walk towards a healthier self. Step by step. 

The first dip into the pool. 

Damn. The water is soooooo cold. 

Did my first lap. 有一点吃力喔. Argh…I’ve been a sofa for too long. 

Did 16 laps for today. Not my best. But celebrating the small win. 

I need to remember to love myself; and also to take care of this body of mine. 

Even when she’s still grieving, she doesn’t show it at all. 

She continues to show up to be the 大姐for her siblings, to help jaga Joash while William is out for his gathering. I know she’s crying inside and her way is to bury it so that we wouldn’t worry about her. I wished she wouldn’t hide it.

God, thank you for sending joy to us. I pray that you lead us in this journey as she seeks you, that we remember of your faithfulness everyday, every part of this journey. I pray that when one door closes, you will open the right doors for her. God I bring that You bring hope to her, that she be reminded that in everything You are in control. 

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12‬:‭9‬ ‭NIV‬‬