Today I finally engaged a Lactation Consultant to guide me on J’s latch. Suspected for a while that his latch wasn’t as perfect as his sisters and finally called one over. I was undecided between quitting entirely or just tahan the pain and hope that eventually it will work out. 

So the LC, who was highly recommended by many, was good, in teaching the latch. But she was a bit hard core to me appetite. Kept insisting that I just put him to the breast 24/7, to stimulate demand. Halfway thru the session, J already started wailing v badly bcoz he was super hungry (LC was 45mins late), and a hungry man is an angry man.  It got a bit stressful towards the end coz he just wanted his bottle and I also wanna just give him the bottle la.. 

I needed to also filter what she says bcoz my objective is to improve on the latch, so that the latching experience is more enjoyable. But if I kept insisting (the way she advise), yes I probably see good success in 2 mths time, but I also risk him quitting latching right now! He wail so badly just now that I almost cried too. For me, each additional day that J latches, is an additional bonus day  coz I had thought we would quit during my last emo emo post 

Another reason why I wouldn’t b so hard core is becoz I will b too tired if I do this 24/7, and I still have other kids that I want to be there for! There are many other things that I wanna do besides just breastfeeding him to b honest. And I’m not going to let mums guilt come attack me anymore! 

Feeling at peace at my realisation. I wouldn’t b surprised if J decides not to latch the next morning. But if he does, I’ll give thanks and enjoy that moment !