Closing the milk factory

 

I did this yes/no table while waiting for my zoom appt to start. I’ve said it a couple of times that I wanna stop breastfeeding soon and going to extend my pumping hours. As of last mth, I was still pumping every 3hrly and at least 8-10 times a day either latching or pumping.. it’s exhausting and crazy. So I started to stretch to 4hrly but once I do that, the volume drops. Which I am not surprised bcoz storage cup small ma.. then I’ll be like okie go back and forth, then the lack of 😴

So being a mathematical person, I wanted to list down all the reasons for and against. And clearly, the reasons to stop are more justified. I just need to do it NOW and not let the guilt eat me alive. 

And coincidentally the zoom appt I had yday.. my client also said the same .. to stop and not b guilty. Bcoz only with rest,  can we go a long way with our children. 

Praying that I dont like the stupid guilt overwhelm me. If I stop breastfeeding, I’ll be able to do many fun things .. like traveling next yr ; go adventure cove with the girls in Nov when we go for our staycation; more time to focus on my work or even sleep for extended hrs at night… 

Yes let’s just do it !

Just as I thought he has stopped latching.. this is really what I enjoy abt breastfeeding… 

Eventful 24hrs

I posted this on my fb but thought I leave an entry here to remind myself how great God has been in protecting me and my household. And of coz this is a more detailed and elaborate one since this is my personal blog. The story goes like this .. 

On Tuesday afternoon on the way home walking with Joy, I twisted my left ankle and fell to the pavement. I had a bad landing and my right knee grazed the hard solid ground. I could feel the blood on the open right knee. Joy was in shock and ask me to get up but I couldn’t. My hands had also scratched the floor and both ankles were sprained; my right calf hurts badly and so does my back. I told her I needed time before I could get up. Being a veteran in falls, I know that there is no need to rush to getting up. Took my time and considered a few options:

1) call a cab / ask William to bring us home coz it’s still another 10 mins walk but where I landed was just after a highway. It was impossible to call a cab. As for calling William , for him to rescue it also meant he needs to make a big big detour before he would reach us. Option not possible.

2) call ambulance

- honestly this thought went thru my mind but it felt super guazhang plus I was due for my pump. I needed to go home pump. If I took this route, it probably means another few hrs away. Nah 

3) sit and wait til I was better

- that’s what I did and once I got up, I could lean on Joy and we began to walk home. 

I wanna shoot myself coz this pair of shoes have always make me twist my ankle. This isn’t the first time but I like how comfortable it was and how I could wear for causal / work. So I’ve been repurchasing this pattern for several yrs. As I recall now, I’ve fallen in this series for at least 3 separate occasions so yes, good bye shoes. 

Once we reach home, I washed up and William attended to my wounds. By now I could no longer walk without hurting myself. Even wearing my pants while sitting down was not possible. 

Can see the bruised ankle also ? And can I say that William was so gentle in doing the dressing but it still hurts big time. (Okie, I also happened to have Low tolerance for pain, so ya)

And becoz I was completed immobile, it meant he had to take the night shift. Joash hasn’t sttn. In fact he is more punctual in his night feeds compared to his day feeds. So I had a really peaceful night (haha.. woke up to pump and zzz straight). 

The next morning, he had to do the usual morning routine which is to drop the 3 girls at their school. In addition, it was also Joash vaccination. And bcoz I was still immobile, it meant one trip with 4 kids. I bade goodbye to time and went to zzz more.. hahaha.. I had some rest la despite the leg being super pain in certain positions. 

Then when they were done, he came to pick me up . My turn to see doc; change dressing and collected some meds. On hindsight I should have just seen a doctor on the night itself but I didn’t wanna see a locum. Aiya but today went to clinic at 11am , the doc left liaoz.. argh.. in the end went to my childhood gp..hahaha.. change and all’s good. 

By then had lunch and pick girls and headed home. Time 145pm 

330pm we left again; this time to see an ifc for Joash (yes, we concluded that ifc is required / necessary to give us sanity). Done with the sch tour but sadly sch wasn’t a good fit for us. Dropped me and Joash before he bring twins to minton for swim class. 

630pm papa and twins came home; dinner 

730pm grace swallowed fish bone and we tried to get her to swallow some rice and water. It didn’t work but she didn’t say much . Okie we wait and see. I go to the room to prepare for zoom. Joash has slight fever

745pm William asked for the dosage which I stared back at him. Coz usually the nurse will say the dosage but coz I wasn’t there, no one told him or he forgotten to ask. Tried calling pd, but he didn’t pick up. Lol..

750pm I hear a hysterical baby crying and his sisters trying their best to pacify him. Mr choo was in a dazed alrdy. He says his head is spinning aka he is fainting. I tell him to go lie on the couch. Cancelled my zooms. SOS some mommies on the recommended dosage etc. Managed to administer meds. Yeah ! By then William was gone. It’s not the first time it has happened. It’s his body telling him that he need rest. So I just let him lay on the couch. 

Oh before he fainted, he told Joy to go get dressings for me coz my knee’s having a period and overflowing like crazy liaoz.. so nice to have a teenager at home.

I went to close cranky Joash. Received the following text

At this moment, my heart is 满满的感恩.. what have I done to deserve this love from her. I’m so grateful really. 

After settling the baby, came out and walked into Grace room only to see her sitting up, in darkness hugging her giraffe.. she was in pain but she knows our hands are tight. I asked her if she would like to see a doctor immediately and she said yes. Told her to get dresssed and we will head down. 

Asked William to go into the room to zzz. Joy says she will hold fort at home and call me if anything. 

Prayed that kkh q wouldn’t b crazy. Thankfully it wasn’t. The nice doctors tried to find the bone and even did an x ray but no bone to be found. Oh well, came back home but at least Grace felt more at rest. She also got a free pass at home for the next 2 days. Lol.. 

At kkh 

Came home and joy was just done preparing her bf. I had to eat something before I could take my meds so she chatted with me. Shooed her to bed at 1130pm. 

Photo update from joy while I was at kkh.. haha 

It’s an eventful 24hrs but I’m so thankful that my girls have raised to the occasion. Really. 长大了也会开始体谅家人. Really thankful. 

Going to bed now. Showered, pump and also Just fed Joash his midnight milk . Tired but God’s protection and covering is with us every step of the way. A lot of things could have gone a lot worse but it didn’t. 

Tomorrow is a long day but I’ve cancelled my work appts. So hopefully that would help. 

Praying that the right ifc comes along soon. 

My slimming journey continues

Decided to kickstart my cupping sessions simply because I can no longer stand how obese I look and how much I’m gorging myself even after the delivery. 

Today is the first session and I pray that I have the determination to get rid of the calories that have so easily piled up during the pregnancy. True be told but the day before I deliver, I was 90.1 kg. Even after delivering a 3.4 kg before, placenta, water bag and other things, I’m still now 90.3kg. Not even breastfeeding helped to remove some calories. I think it made things worse coz fatigue made me eat crazy. I’ve tried to eat clean on my own, but it was always one step forward and two steps back. 

Not going to kid myself anymore that I can do it on my own. Decided to let the professionals do their job; I’ll try my best to eat clean in the midst of it and let God do the rest. Praying that God be with me in every step of this journey. It’s not just for beauty but for health,  God. I need to have the energy to carry Joash to play with him or be present for the kids in general. Steer me away from all the temptations. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!

20/9/21

Weight: 90.3kg

My work and I

Financial planning starts early. While I was preparing for my case today, Vera came over and ask what exactly do I do for work. So I wanted to tell her exactly what I’m doing. Bcoz it’s a rare thing that they are curious. Below is our conversation:

Vera: “ Mama, what exactly do u do?”

Me: “Well baby, I’m a financial adviser and I help people plan their monies.”

Vera: “Dont they know how to plan their monies?”

Me: “Well, my job is to help them grow their monies so that they become bigger and bigger” 

Vera: “ You mean like putting it in the bank for them?” 

Me: I smile and decided to draw a simplified drawing of what I was planning for my client. 

Her eyes sparkled when she saw how monies would multiply with time and said she also want to get this.. hahaha.. but when she realize it means waiting for a good 20yrs, the usual objections come out liaoz..hahaha.. 

“20 yrs is a long time.”

“Why would I need the money then ?”

“Can we do a shorter term?”

I was so delighted when she ask all those questions.. hahaha..

I told her that well, I could consider her concerns and customise something for her tomorrow night because I would need time to prepare something suitable for her. 

When I first started this job, my trainer always says that if you can sell successfully to a child, you would be able to sell it to anyone. That’s why I used to present to Sharon, my kid sister, who’s abt Vera’s age now. It’s like déjà vu and reigniting my passion and why I feel that financial planning is an important aspect of life and why it’s so easily misunderstood. 

Looking forward to the little conversation with the kids tomorrow.

Today’s such a hot hot day.. took the twins out coz they didn’t have school today. We went to Pasir Ris to pick up some documents from my client’s place, before dropping some mooncakes over at my mom’s. My mom decided to join us for lunch so she followed us to Jewel. 

Her delightful face when she gets to have one whole glass on her own.

Loving this picture coz I’m at the back.. hahaha..

Dropped mama back home, pumped and dropped twins at their tuition place. I was so tired and baked from all the driving.. plus Joash kept screaming and waking up last night.. and that was despite I decided to just give him the bottles yday.. felt like I had an hangover lo.. lol.. 

Finally reach home at 3pm and thankfully William will be bringing Joash along to pick his sisters from tuition. Managed to zzz for 2 hrs of uninterrupted sleep.. it’s really so nice.. to wake up naturally, not bcoz someone was arguing outside or to a wailing baby etc . I’m thankful for the rest. 

Enjoying the nice view from my bedroom. The twins are delayed from their tuition .. I hope time could freeze here for a moment. I hope I can zzz for another hr.. hahaha

Tonight William will be going to the hospital for his sleep test. I will be holding the fort at home and ideally if all’s good, I could still pick him up tomorrow morning. (Assuming tonight is easy) 

I had a random check on my blog to see what my life was about 12 mths ago and laughed when I saw this. It was things that I could do, for myself not as a mom. I will be back to do all of these (I hope) in time to come. Coincidentally I’m thinking of getting a small car for myself, an indulgence I know. Well, the hubby bought a new tv which arrived today. And I just thought maybe I should get something for myself too.. after all, it’s seldom that I get something for myself. It was always abt getting things for the kids or essential household stuff .. oh well.. we shall see coz I also don’t wanna it to turn into “need to work to pay for it” mentality. Will explore it further in the days to come. 

Next week going to be an hectic week with a few doctors appt and some zoom back to back.. praying for wisdom and strength to pull it thru .. 

Wfh

 I’ve always loved wfh; enjoyed the zoom sessions and the convenience of just lazing at home.. until Joash came into the picture .. lol.. 

Then it became hard to draw the line between a working mom and a mom mom..I find it hard not to rescue a crying baby if I’m not in the midst of a zoom session even though I might still be working. 

So in the end, I told William last week that it was so exhausting; to work at home and still jaga baby.. there, honest facts. 

So starting this week, I’ll be working from Minton, make good use of the lease, and hopefully kickstart the momentum. 

He packed my lunch this morning for me. Little gestures like this filled my heart with love and gratitude. I’m touched. 

Thankful for him. There is no one else I would want as my life partner, besides him. 

Trying to kickstart my work. It’s not easy. Probably the toughest this time round. But I know my God is with me. He is with me every step of my life and He will guide me and protect us. 

Amen !

Quick update

It’s been 3 full mths since my last entry. Been wanting to blog and update on my little happenings but I had neither the time nor the energy to do it. Even during the middle of the night pumps, I only had space to scroll thru online shopping to keep myself awake.. lol.. and yes there were a few impulse buys becoz of this.. hahaha

So right now I’m pumping in the nursery room at forum while waiting for the twins to finish their abacus class. It’s my 1hr break away from any of the kids but still stuck to my pump. I’m early for my pump but if I do it at home , it would b stealing time away from the baby or the girls. So it’s better that I do it now.

We have since shifted to our new place for 2 weeks ! Yeah! So glad that everything is finally coming together. On our first night there, I cried coz we got this place in a rush and there were so many little defects of the house that we had missed before signing the contract. And it’s hard to wrestle / demand changes after signing it.. that’s the hard fact of being a tenant in a landlord’s market. It’s really crazy. Coz some of the units we shortlisted were snapped up even before we could view. And we wouldn’t have been able to get this if not bcoz the first tenant who “booked” this place couldn’t start the lease earlier. I was also feeling emo emo that the twins had to give up their play kakis at minton becoz of the shift, but it’s really just my emo thinking la.. checked with them a couple of times before and after we shifted and all 3 girls were really happy tat they finally gotten a room of their own. So I guess it’s a YEAH! 

So many things to be thankful for, like how we manage to pack everything and shift; how uncle pig managed to unpack everything by that weekend itself .. if packing was headache, wait til u see the unpacking. I felt sorry for putting him thru this, and I told him that if we ever were to shift again, it would b for good. Not gonna rent anymore if it’s not this place. Even though financially, and the math / science behind it makes more sense to rent, but I think it’s the non quantitative things that I should factor into as well. Of coz if we can continue to stay here , good. If not then we will buy our next place. That’s my thoughts for now. 

Work wise, I’ve started to go back to work. But it’s so tough. This time round it’s so much tougher to go back to work. In the past, it’s so nice to just leave the house and go to work and come back feeling full of energy to jaga the babies. But now bcoz everyone is wfh, work and being a mama is clearly not separated. I can’t b in the room doing admin and not rush out to rescue a crying baby. Or I can’t continue my things and not try to catch up on the girls little happenings in their lives. I can’t. And it’s exhausting to juggle the many things. I’m just praying that God will give me the wisdom and energy to do what’s on my plate. After all, He will never give me too big a task if He knows I’m not up to it. 

Joash is growing well. At the last weighing, he has crossed 7kg even before 3mths. An incredible feat. Waiting for him to sleep thru. He did it for the first 3 nights at the new place, then he went back waking up every 3-4hrly… lol… patience is a rare commodity and I pray God gives me that to weather thru the night feeds and pumps.