Hfmd. .

Grace and vera got their 1st bout of hfmd juz a few days ago. The thought of hfmd itself was scary enough for me to say a few prayers every now and then. Anyway it really caught us unexpectedly coz joy had it when she was barely 2 yrs old. So when the twins were much younger I usually get very paranoid when I hear someone's kid has it. Was juz proudly telling another colleague of mine that the twins are coming to 4 yrs old and they have yet to get hfmd before. . Hahaha.. TA-DAN! AND it comes.. hahahaha

Thankfully it wasn't as bad as when joy had it. I remember during joy's time it got so bad that she didn't want to swallow anything, even her own saliva ! And of coz after she recovered, she spread it to me too.. lol.. the twins hfmd were a lot milder, with only a few spots at their throat..and that was that.. and I'm hoping that it ends at vera and not spread to anyone else.. and also becoz this week is my rest week so the hfmd came timely in the sense that we could spend extra time with the twins, juz playing and doing nothing. .Hehe. . I even managed to go on a cny shopping spree with joy this afternoon !

Praying that they recover soon and be well again!

Here's a few pics of us outdoors over the last weekend!

Sleepless night

The twins crept up to my bed at 330am and they kinda occupied the entire king size bed. Uncle pig is sleeping on the floor while I'm lying on the other end of the bed. I didn't manage to zz back unfortunately. Took the time to play some games , catch up on fb, did some quiet time and went back to my blog.

Saw the many past entries, some of our prayers for the family and friends.. some has come to past while some are still waiting for things to pan out. Re-reading the past entries it's like taking a time machine back to the past. . Where for many many things I've forgotten abt it.. or only agar Agar rem the gist of it.

It's amazing now tt the twins r coming to 4 yrs old, the same age when joy was ard when I was expecting.. yes, time juz fly past like tt.. how did we manage to do all these ? The frequent night feeds , the many tantrums , the sick episodes , and the many many challenges we went thru during this 4 yrs.. it's amazing coz God is with us.

Was just telling uncle pig this evening that our friend's daughter (15 yrs old ) is dating. .and how the friend is struggling to manage the r/s between her n the kid; and the BG r/s . I ask uncle pig how would we b able to cope when it's our turn, how would we react and how should we handle it ? The whole circumstances itself seems to b freaking me out too.. oops.. he, being him , says that when the time comes, we'll know how to do it. And God will be there to guide us, to nurture our kids. 😊

It's coming to 6am, almost 3 hrs since I was woken up by the girls. I rem that 4 yrs ago when I was still preg with them, I always have trouble sleeping back after my toilet visits. . Hehe.. how time flies.

Usually every Jan/Feb, my house will always smell like a hot oven with CNY goodies coz it's the time when uncle pig does some cny orders. This yr, he has decided not to take in any orders. (Sorry friends!) Coz it's really too tiring for him and time should b spend more wisely with the family. Time is the precious commodity here, more so than $. Not that we have a lot of $$, but bcoz recent episodes of health scare have made us more appreciative of time on earth. Nonetheless my house should still have his baking cny  creations. . Hahahaha.. Can't wait for him to start baking!

Going back to catch some sleep.. hopefully I can!

My job..

Fear is when u think everyone is beneath u or when the world revolves around juz you yrself.

I hate it when people don't regard financial advisory as a professional job. Some see it as a sales job out to con people, some see it as a desperate job to hit quotas or targets. I hope to clarify this once and for all. It is a consultancy job and is much highly regarded compared to the likes of doctors and lawyers. I don't regard it as a sales job coz to me it don't required selling at all. When I meet people, I look thru their statements and the things they hope to achieve and provide solutions to the loopholes they have. Some would have already realized about the loopholes before meeting me while some would only come to realize it after I've highlighted to them. These are called blind spots. The solutions I've offered , will cover these loopholes, might not always be taken up for a few reasons. Eg budget constraints, unwilling to forego short term benefits for long term returns , fear of commitment etc and the list goes on. To me, my job is to highlight all these and if the clients do take up my proposals then gd for them and me .. but even if they don't, so be it. I don't push them or am I so hard up for the sale that I die die need it n be desperate or whatsoever. Coz to me this is a profession. Juz like how doctors can advise the course of treatments but patients can always choose to go for 2nd opinion or alternative treatments, they do have a choice. Bcoz of the way I conduct my biz, I do not get offended when people don't take up my proposals. But I do get v frustrated when some clients think that they can expect their agents to give them some rebates, be at their beck of call, postpone my appts for the nth time, or even expect their agents to meet them at some far far place within an hr. That is not the way I work. It doesn't mean that if u give me a lot of biz I will rush down whenever u call me (urgent or no urgent). I've done a lot of bona fide work and to some of my clients who give me very little money, they always feel guilty when I spend so much time with them. To which I tell them that it really doesn't matter whether u can give me $1 or $100,000 today. To me, if I can help u today, I've done what I have accomplished and that is enough. To those that have always been very encouraging, thank u for always trusting me and believing in me. To those who think their money is v big, I like to remind u that money is not the biggest asset we have in life. For that is transient. What is core is character. And if character is lacking then it sticks to u. And that, is sad.

On new yr resolutions

1st Jan came and left , just like any typical weekend with the kids and no school. We had home made pizza for lunch today and after nap, went to a neighbouring mall for dinner and jalan-jalan.

I haven't made new yr resolutions for a long while, maybe coz i hvnt had the determination to see thru it. But this yr I thought maybe I should list down the things I hope to see a change to:

1) FB
- I've deactivated my account again ! Yeah! I've done it before and I really like the days without FB. Perhaps will do this on a regularly basis. Life is a lot more free without FB and time can be channelled to doing other things.  😊

2) Exercise
- yes I want to kick-start back my exercise regime.  The few travelling trips+hectic work+festive kinda stop everything for a while.
- I want to exercise at least 3 times a week (my highest was 5 a week). I thought I never say this but I do enjoy the exercise regime and the level of energy it gives me.

3) Joy
- want to spend more 1 to 1 time with her. She is often the neglected one and I should give her more time together. Perhaps can push her together to do some exercise

4) blog more and attend church more regularly.

Hope that when 2017 comes I can look back at this and be proud that I did what I've said today.

Goodbye 2015, Harlow 2016

As the yr comes to a close, I can't help but be thankful for the many things that has happened this yr.

Joy was a lot more stable this yr compared to when she was in P1. Compared to the constant tantrums and frequent lying incidents where I caught her last yr, this yr it seems both of us have adapted well. I try to spend more time especially during the holidays with her. After all she is juz an 8 yr old. But being the firstborn, we always tend to have bigger expectations of her; that she be independent, be mature enough to take care of her sisters, be responsible n polite; and the list goes on n on..I'm thankful for her in my life and a lot of times as I look at the past photos, I often am reminded that she is the one taking care of me rather than the other way around. Academically she did very well this yr too. I just hope that all of us won't b too caught up in the exam race that we forget that the tests / exams r juz stations in life but it doesn't end our lives.

Grace
She's the one that will kiss me more often than the other 2.. still innocent and bubbly , mama juz hope that u will take yr time to grow up. And I pray that you will look at joy as yr role model. She's also the one that has visited the hospital more frequently than the others, i'm thankful that she being the braver one is not afraid of all the misfortunes that has happened in 2015.

Vera
The little princess of the family, I have to constantly remind myself that she isn't that little anymore.  That even though she's the mei Mei of the family , she is actually only 1 min younger than grace. . 😂 she has come v far from the colicky baby in her 1st yr. She is still demanding and at times I won't have the confidence to manage her. And for this , I'm thankful for uncle pig. .that bcoz of his stern dad personality, the kids won't dare step on too many lines. .hahaha.. ever always so thankful for him to be in my life.

In the past , I'm always worried when the yr ends.. coz it means that for the coming yr I need to find new biz n sometimes the future didn't seem that clear.. but in recent yrs I'm no longer afraid or jittery. I know God is here and He will be with us in all circumstances. He's the only 1 constant in my life and no matter how rocky the future might b, He is here. And that's what it all matters.

Recently met up with some ex-colleagues and someone asked if I've qualified for this xxx incentive or that xxx incentive coz he just started his "run". To which, I've already qualified 2 tickets each to the incentives. . I don't know how it happened and my only explanation is God allowed it to happen. I wasn't tracking on either of the incentives but was notified few weeks ago when I've achieved it. I pray that God will give me the right words to speak to the people, so that they won't think I'm crazy or extreme, but it is really a fact that all is becoz of Him. And we really only need to entrust and believe that He knows best. It's like going into an investment not knowing where or what it's investing in but u know it's 101% guarantee that is the best for u. 😊

Right now I wanna pray for 2 of my friends' parents who have recently had stroke. One of them is still in the hospital while the other is discharged and recuperating at home. The recovery path is long and tedious . I wanna pray that Lord , you strengthen the family members and give them hope . You carry them in their woes and I also want to pray that they recover soon. In jesus name I pray, amen.

Wishing all family and friends a happy new yr and may the new yr bring you joy, hope and peace.

Prayers

Came home very late today bcoz of work. . So late that even uncle pig has fallen asleep on grace bed, while for grace, she was found sleeping diagonally right in the centre of my bed. I lifted her and adjusted her to b right next to me and took many glances at her. I put my finger under my nose to check if she was breathing. I couldn't feel her breath.. or mayb I didn't know how to do it. Juz as I was wondering , I heard her snores... 😅 yes all my 3 kids snore.. juz to what extent. I kiss her n kiss n continued to kiss her, wondering if she would wake up and look at me. I wondered if all these was juz a dream , a wonderful dream or is it for real that I am now a mother of 3.. and my gem is juz sleeping next to me. It seems so surreal that I am so blessed , to have all and so unworthy to have all of these. 

And the fear in me grew , that one day this might all end. Before I let the fear grow deeper , I juz wanna pray and b grateful for the many blessings that God has given to me and my family.

So many things have happened since my last blog entry and I won't hv stumbled back to my blog if I wasn't looking for some encouraging verses for a friend who was having some struggles in her work. Indeed, life is always a lot easier when we r closer to God. As I looked at the no. Of entries that I've made in the respective yrs, I'm also guilty of not giving God enough "air time". Of coz God being God, he doesn't complain or becomes jealous or do funny stunts. But looking back , much as the struggles of infertility had occupied me previously , I was strong becoz I had God. As things come to past , human being human, forget and become distracted.  Mi included. I hope this will b the start of many intimate entries back with the Lord again .

At this juncture , I just wanna pray for this friend who is angry abt the many ups n downs happening at her workplace , I pray that God you remove the hatred and the angst in her, n let her realign her goals and focus back to you. Man always disappoint and fail us, but God is the only one who never fails.  I pray that You give her wisdom to manage the relationship between people, n give her favour in Man.

I also want to pray for my friends who are having issues, be it with work / family / relationships that God you lift them and carry them in their walk with You. I pray that they will come to know You n have peace in them.

I also want to pray for a friend who has recently come back to You , that You guide her in her small spiritual steps and use her well in her workplace . I pray that You speak to her and let her experience Yr presence every day. As I see her taking her small baby steps , I am also reminded of my own baby Christian walk many yrs ago. As she seems Me as a role model , I am even more touched and encouraged of God's presence thru her. Indeed, let us walk together and come closer to you Lord! -Amen

Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you. Remember, O Lord, your compassion and unfailing love, which you have shown from long ages past. Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth. Remember me in the light of your unfailing love, for you are merciful, O Lord. The Lord is good and does what is right; he shows the proper path to those who go astray. He leads the humble in doing right, teaching them his way. The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness all who keep his covenant and obey his demands. For the honor of your name, O Lord, forgive my many, many sins.
- Psalm 25:4-11

The day I thought I will say goodbye. .

The day I thought I will lose Grace.. yes a frightening experience indeed.. when the little girl decide to climb over the bench and fell into my mama's fish pool. I won't hv notice if not for the fact that Vera shouted her name in alarm and I couldn't see her.

My instinct was to walk out and check where the cheeky girl had gone and to my astonishment, she was "swimming back float " in the pond and gulping mouthfuls of water in between.  I jumped into the pond and rescued her. Both of us were in total shock and I knew that it would b a complete different story if Vera hadn't shouted her name or if I hadn't reacted immediately . Things could hv gone a completely different way.

She is better now but still in shock. She cried a little when we put her to sleep.. kept crying and saying she doesn't want to fall into the pond again. Juz in case one is thinking it's juz a shallow small pond , my mama happens to have one of those that's more than 1 metre deep pond.. so yes I'm in total shock.. but I'm so thankful that God protected her. I want to believe that it's our Saviour who rescued her and it was a quick reminder for me (especially) not to always complain .. complain abt her not sleeping through , having bad tantrums and not willing to share etc.. All these juz pales in comparison when this incident happened. It's like a wake up call from God to remind me like .. " hey!! Didn't You requested for more kids juz a couple of yrs ago ? Why the many Complains now ?"

Yes , I hear it. . And yes I should juz relax and embrace whatever that comes along. . Suddenly joy's checkpoints and tests doesn't seem that impt.. I even started to think what would life be without anyone of them ? Be it the kids or William .. I'm scared... and I know I will not know when .. but God, our almighty God will know.. and it will be at His perfect timing.  And today is not that timing . Thank God for that . Thank god for everything .

Sometimes things happen because we always focus on what seems important, and missing out on what's truly important .

The pic on the left was taken when the twins were a few mths old while the one on the right was taken in Jan 2015 when we did a staycation. How time flies. I pray that God give me the wisdom and patience to guide each of the girls so that they will grow up to be yr worthy servants , in jesus name I pray , amen!