9 weeks update

I don't know wats happening but been feeling nausea these few days n ultra lethargic.. But the frustrating thing is tt I can zz easily in the day time but not in the evening . I'm afraid tt when the twins come they too will hv this inverted way of zz which would make everything so difficult.
The other thing is my emo is super extreme. Losing my temper at uncle pig at the tiniest issue.. Sometimes I pity him, always serving me to the best he can n not flaring up at all..  I really appreciate it & it's not like I don't treasure this pregnancy . I do, that's y sometimes I'm so angry w myself, for not being able to calm down n b positive . Of coz, some days r better & today jz happen to b one of the more jialat days. It's kinda a torture when everyday is like today. How I wished it's apr now !

Believe in God's timing, in all times

Today while catching up on some of my IF bloggers that I've known since some time ago, I read an entry from Hillary that she's pregnant! I almost cried when I saw that entry. For someone who's tried so hard, tried so long (3 IVFs & many IUIs), it's indeed heartwarming to know that God has decided to grant them their wish, in His own timing. They had actually moved on to adoption, and was about to accept an adoption case, when out of a sudden, she just decided to buy a pregnancy kit. - just to be sure, no expectations..not remembering when her last period was.. but I guess God always has his own plans and timing for us, every one of us. My heart go out to this couple, who has spend nearly every cent on fertility treatments, and finally the courage to move on to adoption. And yet, all technologies in the world, did not manage to help them, and to think that after closing this door for a few mths later, God decided to show that He is the Lord, and the creator of all. He showed us once again, that He answers in 3 ways: Yes, No, Not Yet..

Thank you lord for all you have created for us. I pray now that you protect Hillary's womb, and grant her a smooth delivery through this 9mths. - Amen

8 weeks update

A lot of my friends have been asking me how I've been feeling since being pregnant, so I thought I did a summary based on my experience so far:

1) Morning Sickness - Managable
- I think it felt almost the same when I had joy, which is once a while, I do feel nausea, but if I were to drink some gassy/sugary drinks/sweet foods, it kinda chase it away..haha... so I think this time round, it's a lot easier coz i'm already prepared..hehe..

2) Appetite - Small, but better as time passes
- Ever since I did my Embryo Transfer, it felt like I did a stomach reduction operation and just a few mouthfuls would make me full for dinner..hehe... which is not a bad idea, since I hope to lose small weight during my first trimester

3) Cravings - A loooong list
- hahaha... actually it ties in closely with 2). Because of my small or sometimes lack of appetite, I try to eat the foods that I really like... and so far, I think poor Uncle Pig has been tasked to buy the wanton mee at Lavender Food Market..which is simply delicious! I started eating that when my mom was pregnant with Sharon, and now it's my turn..kinda amused by it..haha..

4) Sugar Rush
- It seems similar, in the sense tat during both pregnancies, I tend to have cravings for sugary stuff.. especially this pregnancy. Cause ever since Uncle Pig started baking, I kinda stopped having cakes (really sick of them), but now, during pregnancy, yes I'm enjoying them again! Yeah! Happy... and during a random search of I can't rem what also, I stumbled upon PCOS (which is me!) & their strong craving for sugar/carbs... haha.. no wonder! haha.. aren't I smart? you can read more from the article here...
http://www.mobimotherhood.org/MM/article-pcos.aspx

5) Mood swings - Light Emo
- On the whole, I think I'm alright.. I've started working, and wouldn't postpone my appt unless really necessary. However, having said that, something small, like my bro saying a completely senseless remark will throw me in tears, and sobbing for hours.. kinda drama.. and i know it's not his fault either... or when Uncle Pig starts throwing in some new biz ideas, it will make me breathless and easily irritable..hopefully all these will be over soon!

6) Tiredness - Super!
- I think this is the category where I'm really stretched to the max.. coz ever since the start of the IVF cycle, i've been taking afternoon naps, coz usually by mid day, I will feel like zzz... and zz can happen like almost any time of the day...juz hopefully i don't doze off when I'm working

7) Tummy - Big
- Now that I'm 8 weeks, my tummy always feel like it's 8mths preg...yesh, really! some of my friends tried to console me by saying that maybe bcoz its twins, thus the bigger size..but even if twins, at this stage, they are only about 1 cm big EACH! yes, can't imagine when they are full grown and how my tummy will look like...with all the stretch marks...eee....

8) Smells
- I think this is the part will strongly aggravate my nausea. Even though I'm good on most days, but strong smelling objects/environments/cabs will make me feel even more nausea, and simply awful.

9) Cramps
- lately, as in the last two days, I'm slight cramps on my tummy... i hope it will go away soon.....not really cramps but maybe pain.. and i was really afraid of losing the twins.. not sure if i'm over-suspicious but Uncle Pig says to have faith and when I prayed this morning, God told me the same too. To have faith in him. So I shall obey.

okie, i tink tat's all for now... my eyes cant open le..need to go zz before i pick joy later... to be updated again ba...

Missing Singaporean in Athens, Greece - Kouk Leong Jin

This morning we woke up with alarming news. One of our long time friends is missing in Athens, n uncontactedless for several days. He just got married abt two weeks ago, and I've kinda seen him grow up from a boy to a young man coz he was my brother's sec sch friend and they hv always maintained contact.. Although I don't know him well, but my heart goes out to his family members. Lord, I pray tat u protect him from any harm, tat he will be able to establish contact soon with the local police. Lord, I pray for peace in his family as they travel to Athens to find him, and understand the situation more. Lord, I pray for a miracle, tat he will be safe, despite being missing for >5 days. Lord, I pray for people in Athens, who may know some info to come forward to provide help, and I pray tat he meet some gd Samaritans who will take gd care of him, and bring him to safety.

Lord, I know tat not many people read my blog, but I hope that those who do, can help by clicking on the link below, and pasting it on their fb profile n thus sharing with more people. Thank you , and Amen

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Missing-Singaporean-in-Athens-Greece-Kouk-Leong-Jin/227251480665138

Another sleepless night...

Don't know if it's the coffee I had this afternoon or the pure excitement but I cant seem to fall asleep again! Maybe also a bit stressed tat since everything's kinda sink in, it also mean tat I've got to start working now! Haha... Coz if the twins r here by apr, technically I only have 6-7 mths to work... Ahhhhhhh! Really pretty scary ah.. Esp tom is 1st Oct, so yes, it's back to work.. No more slacking... Muz at least do my very best and trust that God do the rest! Haha... Right now I'm praying tat God will help us in our situation, tat I work sufficiently but not too overwork thus straining myself, tat I have better control of my emotions (n I know it's not gonna b easy with the swings) so tt I can focus n work..haha.. I do love my work most of the time n I'm glad God has placed me here, much as I always wonder y but I'm thankful for his plans... I'm also praying tat I don't gain too much weight, in fact I hope to lose some in my first trimester coz I'm too big to start at the beginning.. It's juz like an already inflated balloon n u insist on pumping additional gas.. Haha... Ya, will try to curb my appetite n the sweet stuff... And hopefully do some exercises in the 2nd &3rd trimester..haha...need to keep reminding myself to curb... Haha... Hard but i will do my best! :)

Double Blessings

This morning I woke up , hand on my tummy as thou making sure I can feel the twins in me.. Everything seem so unbelievable..it juz seems like y'day when doc told us abt our infertility report, n the procedures tat we have to do.. The medication, the rounds of IUIs tat we did, the many prayers tat our CG n friends prayed n cried together w us, the decision to do IVF, then the many rounds of injections, n now here.. It juz didn't seem possible, unbelievable.. And it juz is pure sweetness. I wake up each day feeling full w sweetness, n thanking God for his blessings.. The period when I was down, esp w the low egg retrieved n the probability that maybe nothing to b transferred, I know God was with us.. And I thank God for his presence, strength n everything made possible.

I had lunch with two of my best friends, J&J, and told them that maybe it was the long wait, maybe it was our age, which made this pregnancy even more treasurable. We started our search for infant care when we knew about our blood test result, pram shopping y'day after the scan, and now I have a mental checklist of the things required to buy/do.. haha.. talk about being kiasu parents... i didnt rem doing all these when i was pregnant with joy..

I also had a practical conversation with uncle pig.. in fact, he initiated it.. maybe he realised that two's a completely different ball game or he doesnt wanna overload me with things.. he has suggested of closing the bakery and operating it from home again.. which is something I had really hope he could do.. considering the fact that joy will be starting pri sch in 2 yrs time, plus the twins.. i really hope that either one of us could be a full time parent, to stay at home and take care of the kids.. anyway, i could see the reluctance in his eyes...of giving up his biz, and I pray that God, you provide a solution for this bah... I don't know what's best for us, but I know God always has plans.. so we shall just surrender it to Him la..

Right now I'm pram & infant seat shopping.. havnt really decided if we should do a twin pram tat comes with those infant seats, or should we just recycle Joy's pram and sling the other one... anyway, the bulky twin pram makes it hard to put itself our car boot too.. haha.. i welcome all suggestions..so pls drop me some..thanks! :)

1st ultrasound

1st ultrasound scan
Finally! The long awaited scan is here.. Couldn't zz well last nite coz was so excited abt it tt I ended up feeling half asleep at the clinic today. Haha.. 
Anyway we prayed tat we will b able to see the heartbeat today which was crucial in today's scan.. At 6weeks 5 days, we could c the foetus, and the faint heartbeat.. But wait! There's another one at the other side, the gynae was saying! Huh?? Two?!! I thought we were expecting a singleton based on the bloodtest previously? Gynae says tat surprises happen at times n now,yes we r expecting twins! Praise the Lord! Can't wait to let Joy know abt it.. Haha.. 
We were so thrilled tat after tt,nothing tt the gynae said seems to register in me.. Both uncle pig n I were filled w emotions tat tears juz swelled in our eyes.. Tears of joy, of course. Everything still seems like a dream come true.. 

Wat I did chk with the gynae was the 3 embryos n if they did made it to b used in the later cycle.. But they weren't gd embryos n kinda stop growing n thus can't b used.. Oh well, tats fine for me too.. At least I didn't hv to face the torment of freezing many of my babies for future use. God knows how many's required n He gave us juz the right no. He shows tat He's in control ALL the time n I can't express fully how I'm amazed at His plans..thank you Lord .. I pray tat U continue to protect the 2 babies in my womb, tat they continue to grow healthily n strongly.. I pray for Yr Guidance in walking the rest of the journey.. Like wat some of my friends say, there's so many things tt we need to do now.. N I pray for guidance n wisdom thru this route.. Thank u Lord!-amen