Random rants

still waiting for my appt. He texted me saying that he will be late. argh.. feeling feverish. Mr choo jus texted me saying that Grace is feeling lethargic again. seems like her fever only went away when she's home. or maybe she's feeling the same as me- emo and suffering from post- travel blues. 

so tempted to cancel on my appt, but I can't coz it's back to back appts. Meeting a 730pm appt for closing, followed by another friend/work/casual appt at 830pm. If I have to cancel, I need cancel both. The thing about canceling is.. it means I need to meet them again.. times like that, I ask God.. am I really suited for here? If yes, why do I still dread meeting people? Or is it bcoz my "work" brain has been switched off for too long that it can only think in the negative way when left on its own?

I went for 3 appts yesterday and only reached home at 11pm. I was exhuasted. I know I didn't do well for all 3 (It was 3-0 again). Then I started to blame myself, maybe I shouldn't have crammed my days to be so packed and leaving me gasping for air. Or maybe I'm still recovering from my flu and all the feeling-drowsy and high mode? 

Sometimes I ask myself, actually I only have 1 task and that is work and I'm feeling all so emo and shitty abt it.. I'm not even like those gungho mamas who juggle parenting/work/household on my plate. I have only 1 thing on my plate and I'm complaining about this and that.. argh.. why? why am i so emo about things? I need to get control over it. I prayed to God and looked at my daily verse and saw this:

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior,

    who daily bears our burdens. - Psalm 68:19

Dear Lord, You are my Lord and Saviour and I entrust all my worries to You. Maybe I don't understand the why, but I trust that all will pass and that You know what's best for me. In You, I trust. I just need to believe that all is for the better me. In Jesus I pray, Amen!

P/s: While I was preparing for my appts yday in the office, I realise that my vision has become blur again. I randomly told Joleen abt it, and she told me that I had told her a mth ago and I probably should go have it checked again. Called my eye specialist and made an appt for Friday afternoon.  Praying that it's not anything serious.