Tuesday, March 6, 2012

On confinement nannies

Ever since we are expecting twins, one of the popular questions is " Who's gonna do yr confinement for u?" Which I would proudly declare as Uncle Pig coz he knows how to cook all the confinement food I like and he knows how to take care of newborns. Simple answer, case closed. 

Of coz this was unimaginable by some of my friends who felt that it's best to hire professional help, like a confinement nanny so that I don't end up killing him before the end of the 1st mth. haha.. Well, at least for friends, they are still okie.. They will voice their opinion and that's it. But of coz, when yr mum happens to be one of them, then things aren't that simple. 

Almost Every weekend over dinner, she will ask " How are we gonna cope w/0 hiring an auntie?" and sometimes u know that she's asking bcoz she is worried. But on other times, u wished that she juz stopped asking and offer more substantial help ie cooking for me would be ideal.. Or coming by to take care of me or the twins for a few hrs a week would be nice too.. But being her and knowing her, she wouldn't do that. It's a taboo to enter the house of a "uncleanse" mother, who has yet to pass her confinement. I rem during my last confinement, I struggled w my auntie and begged her to let me stay w her for the rest of the mth, which she plainly rejected. It did hurt at that time, and ever since then, William and I kinda depended on ourselves for parenting. 

Anyway during this pregnancy, a lot of friends n relatives are concerned for us, plainly bcoz we are expecting twins and I did contemplate hiring one too. Esp when my friends who recently delivered commented that theirs was gd help. I thought abt giving myself and a new auntie another chance, esp since its been 5 yrs so the trauma has been more or last forgotten. 

Before deciding, i prayed to God.. And I pray that he showed me signs n guide me along bcoz only He knows best - my needs and my shortfalls. And He sure did. Cause immediately after that day, God reminded me of a friend of mine, who had twins and no parental help as she was in NL when she delivered. She married an Ang moh, and they don't hv confinement nannies there. She also didn't hv much help fr either side of her parents. I consulted her and she too felt that it's do-able, esp since she's done it before and also bcoz we weren't first time parents anymore. Bearing that in mind, I really felt more assured and I thank God for everything. 

Then recently, one of my close friends delivered too.. And I called her to check on her too.. N her only complaint was that the auntie was too nagging, bossy and highly irritable.. All her complaints on day 1 after the confinement.. - another gentle reminder that I shldnt juz follow social norms bcoz they might not be the best for me.

1 comment:

J1am1n said...

great! be confident with what you have decided! We will always be around if you need any help too!