Goodbye FB..

- posted on 27th sep 2014

About 2 weeks ago , I deactivated my fb account.  Yes , I did the unthinkable. . Have decided to cut away fr social media after several quarrels with uncle pig. I was pissed that he could reply to the rest of the world on fb and yet forgot abt replying my msgs or calls.. yeah, call it crazy or whatsoever . The missing my calls/msgs were killing me..

I also wanted to cut away fr FB coz I felt that it was taking away too much of my time. It was becoming an addiction , always refreshing my news feed to have the latest update of the happenings of my circle. Shouldn't time be spend on face to face conversations ? Instead even at gatherings , it was always impt to take pics and tag and post.. I'm tired of all these.. juz wanna go back to the Dinosaur age whereby one needs to call/meet in order to know how one is..

P/s: as of today I've been fb - free for a mth plus. . Nv thought it would last that long.. it was quite nice to occasionally check on my frens via uncle pig fb.. but still happy that my acc is close for now..

Weaning #5

Thought i do an update of my weaning process, since the last I tried weaning her off was abt 6 weeks ago.

The first mth was kinda crazy, every night she would wake up at unearthly hrs crying and crying for milk. In order to make sure that she doesnt wake Vera up, I would carry her out to the living room and battle it out with her for at least an hr, usually 2 hrs. On some nights, I would be very confused. Coz a bottle usually would only take 5 mins to knock her out, while a war would usually take 2 hrs.. and it hurts when I see her cry like that..  This lasted for a whole mth, when i almost thought it would last forever.. she started to sleep through (finally!) yeah! time to open the champagne bottle.. =)

Having said that, out of the past 5 days, Grace woke up 3 times this week (before 5am) asking for milk.. I hope this cycle ends. Its better for her and me, if both of us get at least 6 hrs of uninterrupted sleep every night.. haha..Praying for God's strength ..

Joy

她长大了。。今天刚好须要在带她去上芭蕾舞课之前meet一个client..

Happy and grateful that she could juz sit at an adjacent table and have her breakfast and read her book.. although my appt was delayed for quite some time , she didn't complain abt it.. I think it's gd to bring her along at times to let her know tt it aren't tt easy doing mummy's work..

Praying that God give me wisdom to speak to her and open her heart ..

Weaning #4

Did I say that I manage to wean her off my breasts in feb this year ? This was after my Cape Town trip , which was a bittersweet moment coz I had tried a long time to wean her off but each time my heart juz melted and relented.. it was only bcoz of the long trip , thus when I got back, even though she still wanted I said no to her. . I guess it was easier coz I had a 5 days break away fr her.. she was 22 mths then ..

Fast forward to now.. I'm back to weaning her off again. . This time off the bottles coz despite being 27 months alrdy , she is still waking up at least once , if not twice a night for feeds. Vera, on the other hand, has started to sleep thru a mth earlier.  It was a struggle and still is (coz the battle is still ongoing ) bcoz if I give her the bottle she probably go back to sleep within the next 5- 10 mins. It took me 2 hrs to convince her to zzz back without a milk feed, and an hr last night.. I'm praying that today will be a complete sleep thru ..

It probably is a gd time to wean her off. . Honestly I think it's kinda overdue .. besides a fren who's child only zz thru at 3 yr old , Grace is probably the oldest "newborn" waking up every 3 hr... I was telling a client abt my situation and she too felt tt Grace is over age .. haha..

Praying for God ' s strength as I battle on for the next few days. . Praying that Grace sleep thru  coz both of us really need uninterrupted sleep , I guess. .

One of those emo days

Have you ever had days when u wondered why things doesn't seem to be working out for u ? Today is one of those days.. I had a couple of appts and all ended up with a NO .. Some of the appts were a Not yet while one of it was NO..

I'm sad not becoz I failed to close the case and earn my comms. . Of coz I will be worried in that context but today I'm worried coz I failed to convince the client who is a sole breadwinner to get even a term policy to insure himself in the event he meets any mishaps.. I'm disappointed with myself coz he has 2 v young kids.. I wondered if it was bcoz I had not tried hard enough , mayb coz I wasn't desperate enough , mayb I wasn't pushy enough.. Mayb today I was defeated even before he said no.. A lot of maybes.. One of the times when I'm not sure if letting him have his way was the right thing for him .. what if things didn't happened as planned ?

One of those days whereby I felt that I failed as a consultant to help others .. One of those days when I can only pray and rely on God that He knows best for everyone .. and that I tried my best , my very best to do what I felt right for my clients .. that is my philosophy fr day one.. to be a financial adviser to help others. .

God , I know You place me here for a purpose .. I pray that You give me the wisdom and words to speak to my clients and the people I meet . I pray that You help me guide them, I pray also that You guard my heart , that it remain truthful and committed in serving You. I pray that You guide me in all ways Lord,  in Jesus name I pray , amen !

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
- Psalms 139 23-24

On the lesson of telling lies

Ever since joy entered primary 1 , I've caught her telling lies on 3 separate occasions . It was hard breaking when it happened the 1st time , and it was over something very trivial.. We went thru the scoldings and canings too and still the lying didn't stop ..

Today was the 3rd time it happened and it was a back to back lying incident. . I saw her using a different 2B pencil compared to the ones we bought and upon asking her , she said that it was a gift fr a fren.. Further investigation found out that it was something she picked up at her sch " Lost & Found " section .. next I found a packet of sweets in her bag and this same packet actually belonged to a friend of mine who came over last week.. when I asked her who gave her the sweets , she say her friend again. . This time I totally lost it. . Both of us totally lost it. .

I was devastated , by how well she can tell lies one after another. . She was in a break out saying that she no longer loves me , wanna leave this place , blah blah blah. . It's heart wreaking when this comes from my firstborn , the one I pride myself as giving the most attention to in her first 5 years and even till now.. The one I pride myself as always being there for her everything , the one I pride myself never to even use iPhone or its kind for any kind of parenting. .

Coming fr my own background where caning is always the only solution , I know that i can't use the same approach any more . I'm learning yet whenever I seem to have advanced 2 steps ahead , an incident like this always sets me back to ground zero. Who is this girl that I thought I know?

Praying that God give me the wisdom and a lot of patience to guide the girls. .

Grace first hospital stay

Juz last week grace was admitted to hospital for the first time. . To be honest , having been parents for 7 years , we are so blessed that this is our 1st time staying in the hospital.. haha.. something that I'm so grateful for..

It was a gd learning experience for me and uncle pig and we were also so grateful Joy, who showed such maturity in taking care of her younger sisters - Vera who is at home and playing with grace when she came to visit her.. 

Anyway I'm thankful that it was nothing serious. I'm thankful that God was with us throughout the journey and that by the end of this entry , Grace has recovered and is back to sch. . God is so good , all the time. .

P/s: I'm using a new app to blog recently. . Thanks to jm who showed me.. haha.. blogging is much easier now and I hope I can blog more often ! Thanks jm !