Decluttering

Following my post on minimalism, I decided that 2023 will be the year where I want to declutter a few areas of my life:

1. Food 

- Realize after doing 2 weeks of my expenses that I/my household simply spend too much on food. And I’m not even talking abt proper meals. I’m referring to the occasional kopi break ; tea snack; cakes and pastries that I can every now and then. All these adds up. Also going to cut down on the number of cups of coffee I buy outside. I used to get a cup every time we are out. So for now, I’ll reduce it to 3x a week and eventually to none outside. 

2. Bags 

- Going to sell some of my recent purchases coz I realize that I don’t enjoy carrying leather bags. They are too heavy when I put a laptop and iPad in. Yes they are pretty. But I don’t need them to validate anything. Getting rid of the old stash as well. Going to sort them out this weekend.

I do enjoy such cute bags a lot more to be honest. Lightweight with lots of pockets. 

I think that’s the two main areas I wanna focus on for now. 

Why do I wanna do this? 

Knowing the why is v impt. Coz it helps to remind me why I’m going thru this and what I’ll see at the end of the (rewarding) journey. 

1) Less clutter; lesser things to store and lesser things to clean up 

2) lesser calories 😝

- truth be told, the twins have gained so much weight in the last few years. And as much as I dote on them and wanna let them try all the super nice desserts / food; it’s not helping them in their self esteem or waistline. Mayb instead of an indulgent snack every now and then, we should go do an exercise instead!

(Easier said then done but we will get there!)

3) self discipline 

- I think it’s a mental exercise for me. To cultivate the habit of self discipline. To exercise the mental resistance.. haha. Chim hor.. but I do feel that every now and then, money slips out ever so easily and it’s not even going to things that we notice. And what happens? We end up needing to work MORE in order to provide for what we think is necessary. But what if we can live with less than necessary, and then we can save MORE or work LESSER ? 

Okie I’ve reached the office. It was a struggle to walk past all the coffee shops and not get a kopi or atas coffee. 

Yeah to small wins! 

Day 6-7

He’s finally home! For which I’m thankful. 

Last night was bad coz Joash woke up at 430am again and both of us didn’t zzz until the helper woke up at 6. I tried all ways to make him zzz, but in the end, we just ate some strawberry Swiss roll from our dear Angela yiyi; had 1 banana and some milk. 

I went to nap at 6ish and I think Joash also went for a pram ride at abt 8. We both woke up at 830 and he was super super sticky. So I just brought him to do all my drop offs today. 

Dropped vera at amk at 9am; went to bishan to collect some stuff. 

Had some fun at the nearby playground while waiting

Boy refused to give up his seat when he was at my friend’s place! 

Went back to pick vera from her art class. Boy started to cry on the way there coz he accidentally dropped his chou chou. Continued to cry all the way from AMK till we reach Grace swim school. 

By lunchtime all of us were exhuasted. Had lunch, showered him and off he went for another pram ride. I wanted to take a nap but the girls kept asking a lot of questions or talking real loudly. Joash barely zzz on his pram ride and was awaken by his annoying sisters.. argh.. I know right!!

In the end he slept on my chest for 2 full hrs. Tired right.. why u don’t wanna zzz at nigh?

Anyway finally uncle pig arrived at our door step at 430pm. I’m glad. He took the girls to church and jaga the boy while I finally had some rest. 

Praying that now that Uncle pig is back, our little man wouldn’t wake up every night. When I was in Iceland , he simply slept thru the whole entire time other than the first night ! 

So glad that Tom is still a weekend so that I can catch up on my zzz. He says he’s bringing the kids out for bf.. pls go without me! Hahahah.. so glad this is over. I surprised myself by how much I did this week. There were days where time went pass in a blur and the severe sleep deprivation left to crazy eating. But there were good days where we really spend time tog with each kid. Just need to start focusing my time with grace coz I think she is often the neglected middle child. Don’t get any attention from parents coz she doesn’t need help academically; always hide in the room buried in her books etc. my goal this week is to spend some one on one time with her. 

Day 5

 Joash slept til 930am this morning but this was with a 2hr interval from 4-6am. I was so hungover this morning that I scrapped the zoo excursion. Mayb I’ll do it on Sunday. So angry with myself for not being able to let him zzz properly. Decided to let him go sch today since his diarrhoea was cleared. But the moment he left, the moms guilt overwhelmed me. Oh man! Why is it so difficult to b a mom!! Why don’t dads have this issue? 

Promised myself that I’ll pick him up once I end my zoom call in the afternoon. Picked him at 4 and by dinner time I was kinda questioning my life choices liaoz.. haiz.. 穿牛角尖的女人很麻烦。可以对自己好一点吗？

Bcoz of the solo parenting plus severe lack of sleep, I ended up eating so much carbs this week. Even had a huge cup of ice cream after I made him zz today.

Couldn’t quite decide if I should let him continue sleeping here and me having interrupted sleep or putting him back to his cot and missing out on all the night cuddles. I know I’m problematic and I wish life was as easy as 1-2-3! 

I wanted to confirm my Japan flights for mar next year but on the other hand I’m worried that the helper wouldn’t b able to manage Joash all by herself. Esp when he’s a night terror. Anyway shall wait til the man is back. I know he has booked the accoms but aiya free cancellation.

Day 4

Suddenly seems that the day passes so fast and uncle pig is coming back in another 3days!! Woohoo! Or mayb bcoz I was out the entire day so time seems to fly even faster.. hahaha

Had work discussions in the morning and I’m glad that alls sorted out. At least there is clarity now. Had to rush to Novena to go for Joy’s medical appt with NSC. We probably spend 3hrs there and then I had to rush back to office to take a zoom call while she did some revisions in the office. 

We had dinner at the Korean restaurant nearby. I feel so blessed that I’m reaping the rewards / ROI of my kids when she was cooking the whole entire time. Just waiting for the time when she’s going to start paying for the meals and giving me an allowance.. hahahaha.. glad that we spend some time together to hear abt her student life and her new collection of friends. 

Came home and saw that Joash wasn’t asleep yet so I volunteered to do the closing. I actually missed him so much today and the many times I went to check on the cctv I couldn’t find him in sight. The helper says he has been staying in her room watching her do ironing. 

Joy entertained the little boy while I took a shower. 

Finally no early morning drop offs for the next 2days. I pray that Joash zzz thru til 9am! If that happens, maybe we will do a short excursion tomorrow. And this wraps up today!

Me time

Source: Less Stuff by Lindsay Miles

I only managed to read chapter 1 today coz I got distracted with my phone. But I just wanna pen my thoughts for the future me now. 

This reminds me of what JM spoke earlier abt “帐单自由”. In my trade, we all know that it’s never abt how much we earn but how much we save. One can earn sky high but becoz of poor financial decisions end up not saving even a penny. And there are others who have humble jobs but the savings they have in their bank are jaw dropping! Note to self: Don’t be caught up by the brands in the world. There isn’t a need to buy anything just to prove that I’ve made it. Learn to live with less. Be contented with what I have. It’s sad if I need to buy more to make myself happier and in order to afford that kind of lifestyle I need to work longer and thus be more stressed and more unhappy? Work should b challenging and fulfilling not stressful and unhappy.

Does the clothes/shoes/bags I use reflect the status I am or are they a reflection of the slave I am?

Day 3

Had a bit of time in the afternoon after the visit to the PD in the morning. Fed Joash his meds before I went to have lunch with the twins and send them to tuition.

I decided to have dinner out with the girls so that our helper only need to jaga the sick boy and his dinner. Boy will b at home the whole of this week coz he had diarrhoea and I 不放心 the school will do a good job in checking and cleaning. 

Tried to arrange for some work appts for the next few weeks. Also deleted the game that I was obsessed with for the last few mths! And suddenly I felt that I have a lot of time! Hahahaha… 

Even managed to spend some time in the library to pick up some books for myself and Joash..

Decluttering is one of the things I wanna work on, to live with lesser things. I also recently downloaded an income and expenses app! The amt I spend on food/snacks is scary! Omg ! Didn’t realize it until I put it in writing. 

While waiting for time to pass at the Starbucks this morning. The wait time was 2hrs+ but we survived!

Night times are most stressful for me. I pray that it will get better in time to come. 😜

Day 2

Last night was bad. Joash woke up at 3am and only zz 2hrs later after I screamed at him. 🥹🥹 The thought of bringing him for a car ride did cross my mind but I’m afraid of it’s repercussions. He is obviously bullying me and the helper. Haiz…felt really bad that I was incompetent to make him zzz. That I had to resort to violence or scolding. And even after that I hardly zzz coz it was really too squeeze for 3 pax on the bed. He woke up at 7, and vera hug him to zzz so that I could have more space. They woke up by 9 and she took the morning shift while I zz for a while longer. I’m thankful for her, such is the merits of having a highly sensitive child I guess. Never saw it as a virtue until last yr. 

Had wanted to bring them to the outdoor water play but helper says that Joash seems to have diarrhoea and soft poop which means we are grounded. Gave him some meds. Will bring him to the pd and most likely no sch😭😭😭

人老了。每当需要熬夜，隔天起来不管睡多少都觉得不够。 Finally understood why uncle pig always rejected my proposals for weekend excursions bcoz he’s always too tired from all the night duties. 

Had lunch at home before bringing the two girls out to study. 

As much as I wanna take a nap, I know Joash wouldn’t zzz if I’m around. And vera definitely is more well behaved studying outside. So here we are.