幸福是什么?

幸福是什么?在我眼里，幸福就是当我忙碌地在跑我的 appts 时，看到一盒热腾腾的晚餐在车上。对我来说，这就是幸福。虽然意大利面很简单，可是我还是很感动。知道他现在是忙到连睡觉的时间都没有，可是还会怕我又因为没时间而没吃晚餐。感恩。

While trying to gobble down my dinner before the next appt, I heard this song over the radio 。
It's by Sandy Lam : 

《至少还有你》

我怕來不及 我要抱著你 直到感覺你的皺紋 有了歲月的痕跡 

直到肯定你是真的 直到失去力氣 為了你 我願意 
動也不能動 也要看著你 直到感覺你的髮線 有了白雪的痕跡 
直到視線變得模糊 直到不能呼吸 讓我們 形影不離 

如果 全世界我也可以放棄 
至少還有你 值得我去珍惜 
而你在這裡 就是生命的奇跡 
也許 全世界我也可以忘記 
就是不願意 失去你的消息 
你掌心的痣 我總記得在那裡 

Just find this song so suitable to express how I feel at this moment. A lot of friends have been asking us how are we coping, be it if it's because of the big shift, the smaller space or being maidless. And my reply would be "actually not too bad". To be honest, we are coping much better than what I had expected; even when the floor is always littered with hair every now and then; or when our dog has been having pee accidents almost every day or when on some days, there's mountains of clothes waiting to wash>dry>fold/iron>store.

To me, all these didn't matter.. as long as we are staying together as a family, healthily. Ever so thankful for all the blessings in life, big or small; as long as we are together. Amen !

Reflections 2016

It's the last day of the year and as always, I like to look back at what has happened and give thanks to the Lord.

2016 came back and left in a flash, such that I didn't have much memories of it, other then recalling that I blogged abt the last day of 2015. It felt like juz yday when I wrote that entry. There are a few things to be grateful for this yr:

1) good health in the family

2) 10 wonderful yrs in our marriage and many to come. 

3) I manage to find new passion in my work, thanks to Joy.

4) Joy
- she has been a darling this yr, especially the last few mths. Not as jealous of her younger siblings and more willing to step up in caring for the twins.
- I'm not sure if it's becoz we hv really made a lot of efforts to assure her our love for her, and spend time with her, that her emotions are more stable this yr. But irregardless the case, I'm thankful for her, her change and what she has done for this family.

5) The big move
- there's so many things to be thankful for with the big move. Yes, we have shifted to a place that's only half of the previous house and it is tiny, according to a lot of my frens.. Haha.. but tiny comes with its advantages too. Becoz it's tiny, we simply can't afford to keep too much junk. Things that aren't useful or we haven't use for at least the last 5~10 yrs, are to go. Becoz it's tiny, everyone is only allowed a certain amt of space for clothes, bags and personal stuff. So this means that no more excessive buying, be it for myself or for the girls. Becoz it is tiny, we also had to make sure the girls keep their toys when they r done playing. There is simply no place for laying around. So for this 1 week plus, I'm thankful that the 3 girls have been cooperative. They have also started to do some of the household chores now that our helper has went home for good. Thus far, they have been sweeping the floor and emptying the trash several times a day (currently their top favourite chore); folding their clothes and keeping it in their wardrobe; wiping the table after eating; and some simple dishwashing.  I've tried to iron my clothes a while ago, and trust me, the first and last time I did that was 10 yrs ago when I juz got married. Ever since then, Mr choo has been the iron man, with the task transferred to the helper a few yrs ago. While I was sorting thr clotheswith joy in the afternoon, she told me that the helper even ironed her inner wear and panties ! I was like.. ermmm.. mummy will try iron yr shirt.. and let's all try not to change so many sets of clothes from now onwards. Lol..
I guess the true test if all of us would b able to keep up with the chores would be when school / work starts. But no matter what, I'm sure God will prepare for what lies ahead. :)

As I looked at the new yr resolutions I made for 2016, I was actually quite pleased that I managed to achieve most if not all of what I had set to do. Yeah !

Thank God for all that He has provided for us in this household and may 2017 be a better year for all!

The big move

Today marks the day when we officially move into our new house. Everyone is now sound asleep while I'm still emo-ing abt how the old place is so much better than the current place.  To be fair, there wasn't major faults abt the new place. Mr choo has done a fantastic job packing all the things and planning the move all by himself. And I really mean all by himself. Till date, he has shifted a queen size bed + mattress, a clothes wardrobe , a camera cabinet that's taller than joy , and many many boxes of clothes, shoes , toiletries and kitchenware.. all by himself. I was more worried abt his back but him being him, once he has decided to do what he wants to do, no one can convince him otherwise. The most amusing thing got to be the way he bubble wrapped our queen size mattress before trolleying all the way from the hdb to our new place. I asked him if it was tedious and the man said it was more embarrassing instead.. my man..

Anyway back to my emo... I guess I'm juz not someone who adapts to changes very well. After the move and after I came back fr work, (yes, despite the official move day, I still had to work), I started to complain and nitpick.. lol.. like asking him why doesn't our toilet has a dustbin or cup holder to put the tooth brush ? Why is the shower head not the same as the old house? Or why I can hear the girls clearly even though they are in the other room? And the list goes on and go.. I was snapping and getting out of control.. but he was so ever patient with me.. explaining all my 101 questions.. even I myself couldn't tahan me, if I'm the hubby.

Really thankful for him yesterday, today and for the next 50 yrs.. a friend say I would b able to adapt in a week's time..well I certainly hope so.. despite all the grouses , I'm thankful for God in our household, and Mr choo in my life. Merry Xmas everyone !

A little prayer

Always like the empty pockets of time when I could pray to the Lord , reflect upon the past week and enjoy a little of "me" time..

While waiting for my appt today, I penned a little prayer always reminded of what God has done in me and my household..

"Dear God, I pray for patience and strength as I carry on with the work. I pray for the right mindset in approaching my appts and I pray for the right attitude. No fear, no self doubt; with a willing heart to help all that comes my path; a humble heart to treat all with dignity and respect. Lord, it always seem arduous to begin a fresh week, with nothing. But many times, You have shown me the miracles and Yr ways; and many times, I stand in AWE of yr presence.  I pray that as the yr comes to an end, that You help me help all that comes my path, I pray that You encourage those who are struggling, that they b reminded of Yr presence and great love, that You are the answer to all questions and doubts. LORD, I pray that as I collect the keys to the new place, that You help me make things right. If this is the place for us to stay, I pray that You walk ahead and pave the way for us. Lord, if the plan is to sell, I pray that you bring the buyer to our doorstep; that we all will KNOW, it is from You. Lord, yday while talking to a colleague, he ask if I'm running for banding; which I wasn't. Nor was I running for any deadlines and he commented that life muz be good to be so stress free. It only daunt on me when he said that. Lord , I want to continue to believe that my purpose is You and I wan to look up to You. Wherever You point, I follow. Thankful for being in an environment where I don't need to chase after targets or any material possession, bcoz You are all I need. Thankful for Yr providence. In Jesus name I pray, amen."

I will say of the Lord, " He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust." Psalms 91

Travel blues..

Will b going to Dubai/ Vienna next week and right now, my heart isn't as settled I guess.. emo + everything.. argh.. worried about taking such a long break and having a haywire work cycle when I come back. I pray that God give me peace & let me enjoy this when I bring my mama along.. it's one of the reasons why I'm going.. coz she would like to.. and one of my intentions of bring my parents overseas once every yr.. as much as I no longer enjoy travelling.. Haha..

I pray for peace for going away; I pray for openings.  My appts are few and the week is empty; I'm not sure how the bills can be paid but I know that God's with me and that's all it matters.

I pray for a friend who's pregnancy isn't that stable; I pray that God you protect her and her baby; I pray that you give her peace so that the mind will not wander; I pray that the pregnancy will be smooth and in a few months time , she will deliver a healthy baby.

I also pray for the salvation of the unchurched; that they come to know You; that indeed life with God is more assuring. I pray that they see Your works in me. Indeed, in all, I give thanks to the Lord for all He has provided. In Jesus name I pray, amen !

10-5-0?

- Posted on 29th Jul 2016-

Something happened that day & I might be pregnant. The initial feelings were " Yeah! #4!"; followed by " How are we going to cope?"; "Can we really handle another one? Diaper bag again! ???"

Of coz, all these were just wild thoughts and nothing has been finalized yet. Will know by Joy's birthday if it happens. (Muz be crazy). The inital hopes quickly turned to fears within a day. Even when a colleague brought her baby to office, it did lift my spirits up for a while, but only for a while.

Right now, I pray Lord that God, You know the shortfalls, the situation, I pray that You know best for me & whateven happens, I will obey. I pray that Your Will be done; and may all things be right in yr eyes! In Jesus name I pray, Amen!

* By today, I'm glad to inform that it's just a false alarm. :)

Birthday celebration

I decided to pen how I celebrated my bday this yr.. actually wanted to do it last yr too..but in the end kept dragging it, n finally forgotten abt it.. eventually when my bday came this yr, i couldn't recall what I did for last yr.. so in order to remind myself, I shall pen it every yr.

This yr, the celebration started early coz my bday falls on a Sunday so Mr choo wanted to pre-celebrate with me, as well as a date for us to spend time together.

28.06.16

He brought me to Wheelers Yard for lunch, as I had casually mentioned to him a few weeks ago that it has been some time since we went to that place. As it was too early for the lunch set, he suggested that we wait it out...

See the nice pic.. but deep down I was craving for bak kut teh.. super unromantic wife.. but I managed not to tell him.. lol.. it's not easy, trust me.

We then proceeded to espa at rws for a spa. Didn't take too many pics there since it was v troublesome to take care of the phone while enjoying the nice steam baths..

Went to chomp chomp for hawker food ! Ya, my comfort food..before going home to make the kids zz.. that ends the couple date!

01.07.16
Incidentally my appts flew for this day and Mr choo suggested that we do a proper bday celebration today.. like a date again..coz the place he wanted to bring me for lunch was closed on 28th jun. So I agreed. We went back to sentosa again.. Haha.. to the lunch buffet at W hotel.. nice ambience with nice scenery.. and v quiet place.. well, i think the logical Singaporean won't drive in just to eat ba..since the food wasn't something to wow about.. okie i shall be gratefull that my huby makes the effort to bring the wife to nice places la..much as the wife is trying to be the stingy auntie and trying to make every cent count.

He also got me a present, which I was quite happy with it. Coz it was a practical gift and since the old one is quite worn out. 

After which we headed to vivo for some window shopping before going home to be with the kids.

03.07.16 (Actual Day)

As we needed to go to church today, Mr choo suggested that we do a simple lunch after church before we head home. Celebration this yr would be dinner at home.. yeah!! Honestly, to me , that was great! Coz i really prefer home cooked meals nowadays.. hahaha...and now that I'm older, bday is just another day.. at least to me la..

The kids were especially nice to me too.. haha.. I won't mind having bday everyday if i get to see them in their best behaviour... hahaha..

Simple meal by him.. 

After dinner, the kids kept asking where's the cake.. actually I, too, am curious.. as I didn't smell any baking smells these few days.. so would there be any cake? 

The creative baker thought he give a surprise to his Queen by making a strawberry strudel this yr.. when I saw him scrambling to complete his "project", tears streamed down.. although I tried to hide it la.. but when the kids started to sing the bday song, I couldn't control and the tears just kept flowing.. the kids were concerned but Mr choo says " mama is too happy, so she cried.." ya right.. as though he knows like tt.. blah blah...

 My bday pic.. not too nice coz sad face.. but strudel looks decent... haha..

After the kids zz, and I really can't tahan and tahan liaoz, I started crying and man, did I cry v jialat.. asked him why didn't he make or buy a normal cake? Told him I was disappointed that there was no proper cake.. haiz.. honestly, I also dont know what got into me.. the usual me don't usually fuss over such things. But this yr, especially this yr, I really hope to have a cake, with the many candles and everyone celebrating together as a family.. hahaha.. but Mr choo surprised me in a way that I wasn't expecting.. in fact, I cried so hard that he asked if he should get one now.. which I told him there was no need to, since the kids have zz, and even so it would have passed midnight. 

Even when I was telling my colleagues over lunch  the next day, I was kinda emotional still.. haiz.. muz be the hormones.. nevertheless, I'm thankful for them, to be able to relate to them, and be sane.. what an eventful 35!

Despite all the drama, I did see a cake 2 days later..yeah! so happy!

We sang so many times of the birthday song and blow the candle again and again coz the twins insisted that my bday was over and it was theirs! hahahaha.. but it was fun doing it 4 times.. all the girls are happy and the man is happy when his girls are happy.. happy ending!