Random rants

still waiting for my appt. He texted me saying that he will be late. argh.. feeling feverish. Mr choo jus texted me saying that Grace is feeling lethargic again. seems like her fever only went away when she's home. or maybe she's feeling the same as me- emo and suffering from post- travel blues. 

so tempted to cancel on my appt, but I can't coz it's back to back appts. Meeting a 730pm appt for closing, followed by another friend/work/casual appt at 830pm. If I have to cancel, I need cancel both. The thing about canceling is.. it means I need to meet them again.. times like that, I ask God.. am I really suited for here? If yes, why do I still dread meeting people? Or is it bcoz my "work" brain has been switched off for too long that it can only think in the negative way when left on its own?

I went for 3 appts yesterday and only reached home at 11pm. I was exhuasted. I know I didn't do well for all 3 (It was 3-0 again). Then I started to blame myself, maybe I shouldn't have crammed my days to be so packed and leaving me gasping for air. Or maybe I'm still recovering from my flu and all the feeling-drowsy and high mode? 

Sometimes I ask myself, actually I only have 1 task and that is work and I'm feeling all so emo and shitty abt it.. I'm not even like those gungho mamas who juggle parenting/work/household on my plate. I have only 1 thing on my plate and I'm complaining about this and that.. argh.. why? why am i so emo about things? I need to get control over it. I prayed to God and looked at my daily verse and saw this:

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior,

    who daily bears our burdens. - Psalm 68:19

Dear Lord, You are my Lord and Saviour and I entrust all my worries to You. Maybe I don't understand the why, but I trust that all will pass and that You know what's best for me. In You, I trust. I just need to believe that all is for the better me. In Jesus I pray, Amen!

P/s: While I was preparing for my appts yday in the office, I realise that my vision has become blur again. I randomly told Joleen abt it, and she told me that I had told her a mth ago and I probably should go have it checked again. Called my eye specialist and made an appt for Friday afternoon.  Praying that it's not anything serious. 

The Holiday Aftermath

I had wanted to blog after the end of each day during the trip but got too tired to doing it. Came back and all 4 ladies were sick...lol.. we landed in sg close to 1am and once we got home, it was busy unpacking and washing of all the clothes. 1 week of happiness coupled with 1 week of hectic housework. I asked mr choo if it was worth it all and he said yes. The girls and even I, enjoyed ourselves very much during this trip. 

It was not a hectic trip coz the places we went were sparsely populated. We could feed the farm animals as much as we wanted. It was different compared to the Singapore zoo where there usually are long queues when it's near feeding times. We could be in close proximity with the animals as well bcoz there wasn't many tourists. Lol.. simple holiday, the kind I like. 

I had thought I would have problems sleeping on the trip but the accommodation at Khao Yai, although simple, was close to nature. We woke up to the beautiful greenery and there were various "science stations" where Mr choo could explain its science theories to the kids. 

I could get a book and read while the girls play in the gym, or I could swing myself at one of its gigantic swings while enjoying the fresh air..

* me posing posing.. haha

The girls played very well among themselves throughout the trip and joy even invented a role-play of a card-stuck-in-machine game.

I was really thankful that they could invent games to keep themselves occupied.. didn't we all do that when we were young? 

This is one of the few trips that I actually had blues coming home..  to which I was pleasantly surprised. Thankful for this opportunity.

Day 3-4

If I had thought I would leave bkk empty handed, I was completely wrong. This was the result of 45mins of shopping in the morning while the girls went swimming with papa.

✅ clothes for cny
✅ shorts for work
✅ off shoulder tops

cost a total of $160...haha.. happy mama..

My buddy came over to pass me some snacks and also met up with the driver to make sure everything was fine.. he's been my buddy since I was 13.. we used to b v close in school but of coz as we grow up, we also grew apart coz he went overseas for his degree and eventually settled down in BKK..but it's good to catch up like this once a while..

This is our room for khao yai.. very simple, basic room. The beds were hard and the blankets were the thin kind, very different from our BKK hotel. This is more like a hostel, with a common living room shared with another room. Thankfully the hotel staff had kept that room empty, so we could have the whole space to ourselves.

I'm not sure how the girls felt when they saw the room but I myself was a little disappointed that this was really a basic room.. Lol..  the irony of wanting the girls taste humility yet the mama is too pampered.. hopefully the stay would b pleasant. 😊

Day 4
I slept for >8 hrs straight today ! Omg..hahaha.. love this place.. haha.. thank God for good sleep.. it's rare that I could zzz so well on unfamiliar beds.

We visited a few places today and one of the highlight was to primo pizza where we could feed farm animals like sheep, alpaca and goats..

Even I had fun feeding all these farm animals.. hahahah..

Scenery is nice and weather is cooling too.. 

It was not crowded at all and the few families that were around were all Singaporeans.. lol.. guess khao yai is becoming a very popular spot for Singaporeans nowadays. Coz throughout the whole leg, we either bumped into our locals or thai locals only. So I should b thankful la..at least it's not crowded at all and not flooded with xxx...

The girls also managed to do some strawberry picking at khao yai.. it's not fantastic but a good experience..

I limited each of them to only pick 10-15 strawberries coz the last we did at Australia, we ended up with so much strawberries that we couldn't finish.

We also went to the zoo and it was another round of feeding the animals too.. haha..objective is to feed them as much as we wanted. The zoo is more like a park coz it's pretty small and when we were there, there was only 1 other family. We had the whole place to ourselves literally.

Day 2

I woke up at 5am this morning and couldn't go back to sleep..  argh.. this is the reason why I don't like travelling. God pls let me have 8 hrs of undisturbed sleep tonight.

The first stop this morning is sea life at Siam paragon. It's pretty much similar to the one in RWS. Thought would be quite educational for the kids since we didn't wanna go kidzania (again)

 Vera and her 苦瓜脸。。。and she was the one insisting to take pics but all with her sour face. Think probably too tired from last night. 

After leaving sea life, we headed for lunch before going to hello kitty cafe. This was like the twins highlight for today.. Lol

Vera still with her sour face. 

Being the cheapo mama, I told the girls that we are simply going there for photos and not going to buy any food there. Tried it few yrs before with William and it was over rated and too over priced. 

Thankfully we managed to leave as promised. 

Went back to the room shortly bcoz the girls were tired. Could see from the way they snap at one another. But once we reach back to the room, it's like a recharged of their energy. Sometimes I wonder do they like a holiday or simply love staying in a hotel room .

- playing their card games while I was out for a quick spree. I didn't manage to buy much today. Lol..dunno if it was bcoz my clothes are still v much wearable or bcoz on the 2 slots that I went out most shops won't open/ had alrdy closed. I have a feeling that I would not be buying much for this trip..and tom is the last morning I could shop before leaving for khao yai. And there's no shopping at khao yai.. bittersweet moment..lol.. 

-they literally played hide and seek the whole evening when we were in the room and it's not like we have a huge bedroom..lol... but yes I'm thankful that they are stil playing well today. 

Managed to also catch moments with each girl and asked them their thoughts abt the trip etc.. I guess especially so for girls , it's impt to have conversations with them, look them in the eye and let them know that mama is with u.. 

The girls on their first tuk-tuk. Told joy that unlike spore where there are many traffic rules , there are none in Thailand... Lol.. 

My pre trip thoughts.. and day 1...

 Today is the day when the village goes for their holidays. I had an early morning appt and headed to office to finish up the rest of the paperwork. The plan was to meet back at home and we will go to the airport together. I came home and saw Mr choo still folding the clothes that has just came out from the dryer. The plan was to clear all the outstanding housework before we fly so that when we come back, we only had to clear the 1 week of chores. Seeing him still busy bustling here and there made me wonder if it was really worth to go on a trip. Yes, the kids are ecstatic about it, especially the twins. The thought about going a plane just makes the 5 yr olds on their best behaviour for this whole week. Lol.. excellent I would say..

This is our luggages..all of it.. a lot right.. for 5 of us on a 6 days trip. Majority of it were clothes , toiletries, diapers, medicine pouch, our air bed, blankets and toys. We brought some card games and some board games too. We did bring more toys than usual bcoz the aim of this trip is to focus on the 5 of us. No tv, no iPad and no hp..lets just gel together for the next 1 week.. focusing on bonding. Each kid also had a backpack of their own where they could bring whatever they wanted but they had to carry themselves. Vera had the lightest backpack among them as she had managed to scam/coax/persuade her sisters into sharing their soft toys with her..😅

This is our first long trip since we shifted to the new place. N i think the biggest struggle is having not enough clothes to pack (for the trip) n still have enough panties to wear while in sg.. Lol.. I guess this is the flip side of leading a minimalist lifestyle..

I do hope that the girls learn more abt how blessed they are in this trip, when we go visit the farms etc and interact with the kids there. If successful we probably can go to such places on a regular basis..  shall see how it pans out.. 😊

The objective of the trip is also to spend frugally. It's not because we can't afford but bcoz we have all we already need. Thus there is no need to splurge or spend excessively. Otherwise we would have a problem with storage when we go back.

While waiting for boarding..

And we are in the plane now.. having successfully checked in and positioned ourselves in our seats..

The girls are so excited, especially Grace. She's so loud while watching her emoji movie. Every time I take the plane, I say a silent prayer that we will reach the place safely. I think as one ages, the fear of mishap is real. I pray that God grant us journey mercy on the trip and may it be a fruitful one.

 This is the seating configuration for the leg to bkk.. 

To be honest I haven't sat next to mr choo alone for a long time for family trips. Kinda enjoy the space and freedom.. Lol..  love my man..

Upon arrival..
And here we are, at Bangkok airport.. the plan is to take their airport link (aka express train ) bcoz we would arrive at 5pm and it would probably have bad jam if we took the car. And so we did, like the locals.

It only took half an hour from the airport to the station near our hotel. And we walked for abt ~15mins with our kids and luggage in tow before arriving to our hotel. 

William, joy and I each took 1 luggage while the twins held each other and we began our long walk. Of coz I was hoping to get a taxi or something. But I thought it would be good for the girls to "work" a bit for their trip. Really thankful that we all survive the walk. Lol.. thank God for the beautiful weather too.. 

Met a good friend and his wife for dinner (A pity we didn't take any pics) before heading to the supermarket to get some tibits.. tomorrow should b  more relaxed .. told the girls that all should zzz til 10am at least.  (I wish)

The past haunts..

Sometimes the past comes back and haunt you..lol.. I'm not talking abt some horror story.. but yes.. the past came and indeed haunt me.. the ex-bf msg me few days ago asking abt details of his policies. I arranged to meet him today bcoz it's easier to explain technical stuff face to face. I haven't seen him for ages.. he stopped doing any reviews after we splitted.. the wife was not comfortable abt it even though I suggested transferring to a colleague..she wanted to transfer to her agent, who turns out to be from a tied agency and unable to represent him.. so he ended up in no man land, with no adviser in my previous company.

So I met him today. I told mr choo prior that, bcoz I had nothing to hide.

And we did discuss work stuff and also stuff about how our lives have been since we parted.. and through the conversations, it just reminded and reaffirmed that we are not suited for each other..lol...he's starting his own biz selling some industrial goods after being retrenched 1 yr ago... but he says it's tough..bcoz of various reasons.. I think that was the start of how differing our views can be.. to him, obstacles are everywhere and it's not possible to succeed.. but for me, I view all these as challenges.. he asked "how can?" But I viewed as "why not ?" Being a self employed myself, much as everyone sees how successful I am, it is not without sweat / hard work / grit / perseverance. It is a thin line in mindset between  "I'm not good at it" vs "I need to overcome this".

In a certain extent I do pity the wife.. bcoz of his everything-not-gd attitude, I doubt he's contributing much to the household (be it in terms of $ or services).
If we had been together then, I would sing the tune of many wives that I know personally, who complain how their spouses are not bringing much to the table etc.. 难道今世的男人还以为带一点💰回家就很了不起了吗? 现代的女人不至需要赚钱,还要做妈妈,做maid 还有很多很多。

I wished I had more good things to say about him.. Coz this post wasn't intend to talk bad abt him.. 😒

It was intended to say how thankful I am that the man I see every night before I sleep is Mr choo..  that every time I go out to work, 我都可以很放心因为我知道他会好好的照顾孩子。。Much as how people say surely he should go out and get a job since the girls are older now, no one knows how much he has contributed to the household that money alone can't be measured. 我很感恩以为我有他。我是幸福的。我也希望我的朋友们能找到最适合他们的另一半, someone who can make the best of each other..

Counting down...

The massive 11.11 shoppaholic event just passed and I too, took the chance to grab some bargains. Out of those that I've bought, the one purchase that caught me by surprise was air tickets! Yes, the choos are travelling.. although there was no plans to initially. Wow! Hahahah... surprise surprise..

During our recent melaka trip, I told William that if we were to travel again, I hope that it would be something meaningful. That the girls would learn something out of it..either humility or be able to see snow coz the twins hadn't experience snow before.. we considered bringing them to HKK but it was simply too expensive for the village to go.. air tickets on scoot alone would easily b $5k, not mentioning all the accoms and transpt etc..  I did considering doing farm stays in Aust/ TW but even that too would cost quite a bit.. the most affordable option we had was to bring them to a farm stay in JB but some of the reviews said that the mosquitoes there are commando grade and I wasn't comfortable risking Vera on another mozzie attack. I suggested legoland also bcoz it was a place that the girls havent been before but Mr Choo wasn't keen.. when it seems like all options weren't possible, I suggested Khao Yai - a place 3 hrs away from Bangkok. We had all watched a travel show before on it a few mths ago and really like what we saw. But even tickets to Bangkok wasn't cheap considering the school hols (aka super peak). Budget airlines were going for ~$300/pax, only slightly cheaper than full carrier fares. One might think $300 sounds reasonable but when I have to budget for the whole village it would easily cost abt $5k for the entire trip and that wasn't something I was comfortable to spend on a whim. I would rather spend the $5k on groceries and let the girls bring it to the children home we adopted last yr. 11.11 came and I was still sitting on the fence. I'm not sure if it was 11.11 or what, (I was sure that the lowest fare we saw on SQ was $1600++ for the whole village the day before) but somehow by God's grace, the SQ tickets became $217/pax! Which would mean that we would only spend abt $1k on air fare. N it was the dates that we could go in order to stay at the cheap accommodations at khao yai.. hahah..(~$400 for 3 nights with 5 beds is a steal)
And so , we booked the air tickets and accoms on 11.11! And getting ready to leave on sat ! Really excited to see the place! The scenery is nice and we would be going to a few farms so that the city kids could appreciate nature..hahaha

A casual chat with my buddy and he referred me his driver contact which would bring us there too ! And at a discount ! Yeah! Praise the Lord ! Mr choo had checked out the car/driver rental rates and it were all much more exp such that we concluded that we.probably just rent a car and he will have to drive. But God is good.. for He has given us a driver who will fetch us around and we didn't have to worry abt getting lost or finding a petrol kiosk etc..

Feeling pretty excited abt the upcoming trip. We have decided that there won't be any T.v. on the trip so that the girls could spend time with each other and with us. Praying that God grant us mercy on the trip and protect us throughout it.. and I hope the girls will know how fortunate they are when they see kids living in poverty in other parts of the world. Moving forward I do want to be deliberate in my travel plans such that they do learn something out of it. But this is the first one and hopefully it pans out well..