Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Babies at 10 weeks...

- written on 17th jul 2012 -

A lot of pple thought the hardest thing for twins is when they cry together ..But I think thats fine.. Coz once pacified we can all zz together.. The hardest thing I feel is when they wake up at completely diff timings .. Haha...  But I'm learning n enjoying every moment !

A typical hectic night feeding:

12am Last night feed for both of them
2am Grace wakes up for feeding
3am Vera wakes up for feeding
4am Grace feeds
6am Grace and Vera feed
630am Joy wakes up for school..
* This is when Grace was drinking on a 2hrly shift, while Vera was on a 3 hrly shift..

Not forgetting that I still need to squeeze in two pumping slots in the nights in order to maintain my relatively low milk supply..

I don't know when things will get better... ( Joy started to sleep thru pretty soon after her 1st mth)
I just know that I wanna zz all the time...and I'm not even doing as much night duties as Uncle Pig..
Praying to God that He gives us the strength to continue on...

First day @ work

First day @ work

- written on 6th Jul 2012 -

Today I went back to work, almost ten weeks since I delivered. I thought I would hv stayed at home for a longer period of time, but both Uncle Pig & I felt tt it was better for me to go bk to wk. (read here)

I had tried working fr home abt two weeks ago but it was hard. There wasn't a moment that I was either feeding the twins, pumping or washing bottles. I was dead tired. And stressed. Their constant demands plus Mil surprise visits were giving me stress. I was worried also w how Uncle Pig was gonna cope when I was not ard. How would life be? How was he going to hv rest when he would b "on shift" 24 hrs a day.

I was worried yet excited when today came. Worried for obvious reasons; excited bcoz I love my work. I hate to admit this but my work gives me satisfaction n recognition. I was excited also bcoz I wanted Uncle Pig to know tt mayb it's really time to hire some help ; which he kept saying that it was not required.

Outcome of today?
It was gd. I enjoyed my time busying in the office, while he managed to cook dinner, n even ironed clothes today! He says that it's manageable n ask me not to worry. I was glad. Guess its back to work! Yeah!

One of those intense fights...

- written on 2nd jul 2012 -

the past two weeks have been hectic.. because everyone at home (except Uncle Pig) has fallen sick.. either a short 3 days or over a longer period.. the twins are down with wheezing, and Vera had it more seriously and had to be on nembilizer. Joy had her allergy cough and was coughing pretty bad.. haiz.. i too had those irritable cough too... and its at this time, the first time ever since the twins were here, that I really think having an extra pair of hands really really could help tight us over.. and this is the first time I quarrelled with Uncle pig over having a helper, so that we could focus on taking care of the kids, the now-demanding Joy, ever fighting for our attention, the small tiny twins and perhaps some couple time...

this was what I texted him (even though we both were in the house)....

" Sorry dear.. Mayb it's the menses, mayb it's the long day, mayb it's the sun, or mayb it's juz the long battle... But at this moment in time I juz wished for another pair of hands, someone to take over when u n I are exhausted, someone to wash the bottles when all I wanna do is juz watch a bit of tv n zzz, Someone to iron my clothes regularly so tt I don't hv to worry abt u not having enough rest; someone to supervise the twins while I spent some time alone w joy..

I know that most probably we end up underutilizing this extra pair of hands considering how hands on both of us r.. Maybe all this exhaustion will come to pass sooner than I thought.. But at this very moment, I hope tt u can reconsider hiring one again..."

So did he agree to hiring? Some might ask... of course.. no lah... he says no... no.... and no.... because in his view, the cons of hiring is more than pros... and yes, it might be tiring and exhausting now, but we will all overcome it eventually... (ya, right... but i cant see it yet, my dear..) I asked him does that mean I never will be able to go back to work, since it almost seem impossible for 2 of us to cope, and if i were to go back to work, then how would he be able to cope?

Uncle pig, being him, says I can go to work, as long as I'm ready, and not to worry. Becoz he is Uncle Pig (hahahha...) and he will be able to manage. At this very moment, I told him I'm going to work for 2 reasons:
1) If he can't cope, then yeah! We are hiring!
2) If he can cope, then gd la.. i can go back and work..else no income...then how to feed everyone?

So it seems like a win-win-win situation for everyone.. and so yes, i'm going back. yeah! Yeah to my freedom .. I didnt know working can be such a happy thing..but it is to me now, at this very moment...

Today was the Day

- written on 25th May 2012 -

Today is a special day bcoz today is actually my EDD, the day the twins should hv turned 40 weeks. But of course they have arrived here abt a month ago.

Today is very important to me, not only bcoz it's my EDD but also bcoz it marks almost the end of the 1 month confinement. Yes, time flies and it's coming to a full month! Yeah! It's like a mini graduation whereby the mama greets the world w her newborns , and a chance for the world to see both mother n children. It marks the end of confinement, being enclosed n isolated for a mth..

Recalling back, I definitely enjoyed my 'honeymoon' this time round as compared to Joy's era. The previous round, I was so overwhelmed by the many changes and slipped into post natal depression pretty much early. But this time round, I was prepared. Like a student prepared to go to the exam hall, like a cancer patient preparing for her chemo fight, I was prepared not to let history repeat itself. I wanted to make this confinement (probably my last) a memorable and happy one. After all, receiving a new live(s) into our house is a joyous event n we shld b happy abt it. I'm glad tt I manage to do that. =p

Sleepless night

- Written on 23rd May 2012

@2am today, Vera refused to zz again... My night owl .. In fact she's been like this on alternate nights. Woke up at 2am for milk, after which, she remains wide awake. Most of the nights, Uncle Pig will juz take this shift n let me continue to zzz. Of which by 6am I would wake up again for my next pumping session n cover the rest of the morning if Vera remains awake. (which she usually would ko by then)

The frequent night shifts hv kinda taken a toll on him n tonight he woke me up at 3am for help, which I gladly obliged. I would hv continued to let him rest if not for the fact tt Grace woke up abt 330am requesting for her feed. I either had to risk forsaking my half asleep Vera or wake uncle pig up so tt we could each handle one, n hopefully shorten the process. I did the latter.

Sometimes when both requires yr attention concurrently, it can b quite chaotic . Juz this evening, as I was alone with the twins n both wanted me to carry! What to do? Their necks are still soft so I can't do it w my both hands carrying each. I had to use my legs too! Kinda funny when u think abt it.. Haha.. How how? I sat cross legged n put grace on my lap while carrying Vera on my arms as she was colicky n had to be kept in an upright position after feeding. Really felt quite proud of myself. I didn't panic n I manage it well. Both babies were happy. I'm happy too..

Zzzz.....

 my cheeky vera...

Happy half a mth !

- written on 13th May 2012

Times flies and the gals are 15 days old! I've survived half a mth of confinement (C)! How amazing! I rem tt during the last C, I would hv cried buckets n buckets of water, for reasons tt didn't seem important anymore. But during this time round, C is pretty much more manageable, despite the fact tt we didn't hv any additional help at all. I'm so looking forward to the baby shower! Haha.. N then I would b able to assure my mom tt despite all her initial concerns, we survived! N to all the relatives tt had insisted we either hire a maid or a CL, we survived too! Haha.. * as one can see, I'm already on a high note juz thinking abt it!

Since the arrival of the twins, friends n close relatives hv been sms-ing /asking us how we r coping. And the standard usual qn would b "how's the twins?" , of which I would reply " they are gd! " I mean seriously, there's really nothing much to complain abt. They zz well, eat well n cry okie.. Haha..

The close 2nd question would be " are u still breastfeeding them?" This qn comes up ALL the time! It's as if there's no alternative solution to it but excuse me, there's still formula milk if I'm not bf-ing them, not that I'm not. It's as if the entire country has been brainwashed to believe tt breastfeeding is the best n there's strictly no other ways to go abt. Yes, I agree tt Breastmilk is the best for the child, but often, I don't know if it's more stressful breastfeeding the twins, or the stress tt comes fr answering all these pple, which is more jialat? The stigma of not being a worthy mother if u didn't bf yr child seems more overpowering then the struggles one face at the initial stage like sore nipples, blocked ducts, infection, fever, etc.

Yes, I know the benefits and yes I'm doing it. Then why am I so pissed? Becoz I feel tt the emphasis should b on the overall well being of both mother n child. I'm sure all mothers would want to bf exclusively but not all manage to do it, for various reasons. So rather than ask something total irrelevant (Seriously, how does one benefit by asking the mother if I m bf-ing my kids?), shouldn't the emphasis b on the kids or on the overall management of the household? Eg " r u coping well?" " would u need add pair of hands to help u over the weekend?"

I mean seriously , unless u r one of my "bf buddies/advisers" , I really appreciate if u don't ask. I hope no one ask a new mother especially, coz I'm sure she would feel even worse or hv shortchanged her child if she's not doing it.

I can't seem to emphasize enough tt the greatest gift a mummy can give to the child is LOVE and not milk!!! N i hope for all the new mummies out there, don't b stress abt milk la! The more stress u r, the longer it takes to come. After all, we all grew up w formula, didn't we? And all of us turn out okie too! Put the emphasis on rest in this crucial mth n taking care of yr precious addition(s). They need u. =p

Continuing to enjoy my confinement n my time with my precious gals and thanking God everyday for all the things He has created for us! God is good, all the time!

While waiting for my appt today...

Looking at my past entries only did I realize how loooong I've not blogged! I did write once a while but they always remained in my Hp coz ever since blogspot made some changes, I hvnt been able to load my entries via my hp. Hopefully will b able to post them soon .. Haha