Reflecting on 2022

Counting my blessings for 2022 and after listing them down, I’m just so thankful for everything that happened

1. God provided food on the table, despite how quiet work was for me. 

- not going to lie that 2022 wasn’t easy for my business. There were long seasons of droughts and I asked myself many many times if this was still the place God wants me to continue to be at; or if I should start planning for plan B. But God is faithful. He continued to provide for us, gave me strength and comfort. 

2. God provided shelter 

- we finally managed to sell our houses and bought a place. Never expected to be able to find a suitable home so quickly but we are thankful. The kids are looking forward to the new place, William is thankful that we no longer need to live like nomads. I’m just thankful that I no longer need to pay taxes on rent. Hahahaha 

3. Thank God that we are all alive and healthy

- despite William health issues early part of the yr and it giving me much anxieties, I’m thankful that we have sorted it out. Will be thankful for each day that we are alive. Don’t know when / who will be called, but we will trust that He knows what’s best for us. Learning to always trust in Him.

4. Covid

- we survived Covid! Recovered from it, and there’s certainly a lot to look forward to now that this has passed.

5. Vera 

- thankful that my r/S with her has improved by a lot. I’m better at understanding her struggles, her non verbal cues nowadays. She definitely has also stepped up as a reliable big sister for Joash. In fact, it’s bcoz of her childishness/child likeness that she’s often the person who plays a lot of fun games with Joash. 

6. Surviving Joash sleep regressions

- I honestly forgot how bad his sleep was, until I went to re-look my entries. I’ve forgotten the motn car rides; the “起来一百次” happenings for his sleeps.. lol.. did all this really happen in 2022?

7. Weight 

- I lost 7kg this yr.. hahaha.. not as much as I targeted but I am thankful for it. Thankful that I still manage to lose some weight despite the emotional eatings happening so frequently.

Finally back from all the holidays and back to back gatherings. Seriously I’m exhuasted. Have hit the social capacity for the month and I’m just so thankful that there isn’t any upcoming ones in sight. 

Tried to start kickstarting my work engine but it’s so hard. Everyone on my list seems to be one that I’ve just met recently; or is one that I don’t feel like meeting 🙊

It’s so hard and it seems to only get harder. J reminded me that we can only pray and ask God to lead the way. So thankful for her; that when everything seems so hard, she’s always my cheerleader (even though she too is struggling)

Praying that God guides us in our work; strengthen us when we are weak; and remind us that He is with us in every step of the journey. 

 “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭10‬:‭23‬ ‭NIV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/111/heb.10.23.NIV

Emo

I forgot what was the trigger but I remember questioning myself recently why I even prayed for another kid. Why did I make myself restart the whole cycle again? Aren’t my hands tied w work; the girls and cumbersome relatives?

Was just speaking to a friend yesterday that as I see all my friends with their kids growing up, and I look at this little fellow, I ask myself.. why? 哪来的勇气？I’m the earliest among my friends to have kids, and slowly slowly I see them entering parenthood and graduating.. and I’m still in this game of diapers/night feeding/ zoo / hfmd cycle.. #rant

But there are days where seeing him, I thank God for sending him to us, sending to our noisy family. His eyes lit up so brightly whenever he sees me. No agenda, not complicated. His world is simple. Tonight is one of the nights where I’m thankful and honoured to be able to still make him zzz.. where even though he doesn’t quite know how to speak, his intentions are clear. I love babies. They are a joy. Sometimes I wished they remain at this stage. But sometimes I wish they faster zip to a more advance stage. God, only You know what’s best for us; yr plans will always be better than mine. And as much as I don’t understand, I only need remember this. 

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Date night

Thankful that we are doing this together. Loving you more with each passing day.

 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭4‬:‭8‬ ‭NIV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/111/1pe.4.8.NIV

Meeting my shopaholics for lunch later to celebrate their bday! I feel a lot better today compared to yday despite the lack of sleep. 

Saw a sticker at PD this morning and thought it was pretty meaningful and “borrowed” it from the boy.. hahaha.. 

We are traveling next week; the whole village and probably that’s why my emotions were everywhere. I need to be in control. Can’t control what others feel abt me or do; but I can control how I react to it. 

Thank you God for a beautiful day!

雨过就会天晴吗？

 

This is probably what I feel currently. Thunderstorms and a heavy downpour that one will be drenched even with an umbrella. 

I want to remember that God will always be our biggest shelter and He is always there for us. But in reality, it is a struggle. My emotions got the better of me and I felt so depressed. I honestly haven’t felt so down for a long long time, and not even food could help perk me up. 

Praying that I’ll walk out of the tunnel soon. 

Started a new project today coz I clearly needed some distraction or stress reliever. Clearly forgotten that I had promised Vera that I’ll stitch something for her for Xmas until Sunday when she reminded me.

I’m thankful for the reminder coz the stitching helped me feel a lot better. Can u guess what this project is abt ?

Always very proud to be called a Singaporean, especially when I see the night scenery this evening. William suggested going for a night walk so that our helper could make Joash zz regularly, less the boy gets too used to us doing the night closing. 

我的背影美吗？

Been feeling a bit overwhelmed these few days. And it’s nice to be dragged out by him. I need the extra dose of endorphins. We had a long talk, abt everything under the sky. It felt so good to be open abt my fears, my struggles; everything. Most of the time, it’s hard to hold a long conversation without any distractions at home. 

My goal is to grow old together with you 

I remembered he took a similar pic of this when the girls were much younger. The link can be found here. 

Thankful that we went out tonight. Even though by the time we came back, the boy was crying inconsolably. It’s fine. We will go out earlier next time.. hahaha

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:”

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4‬:‭9‬ ‭NIV‬‬