A happy confinement

I had blogged abt this entry abt a week ago but I'm not sure why the contents didn't appear.. After that, I kinda forgotten wat I had wanted to write so only now did I finally hv the same "mood" again. 

--------------

Even before my delivery, uncle pig n I had agreed that we were gonna do away with all the traditional norms of confinement n focus on the emotional well being of me. After all, despite doing a trad confinement the previous time only made me slip into depression n I hardly felt any better throughout the entire mth. 

We were going to do away with a confinement lady as Uncle Pig was gonna be the confinement daddy. Despite objections from my family n some friends, we decided to go ahead with our decision becoz it was after all MY confinement, and certainly I can choose to do wat I want. Well, so far, after coming back home for almost ten days, I'm proud to say that I've not regretted my choice. Yes, it's tiring for both of us but at least the advantage of being on our own is that we have the choice of doing the way we wanted and there was no one ard to say NO!

When some of my colleagues came visiting at my place, I even suggested ordering pizza delivery to host them. They were shocked! Haha! I think my mom would flipped if she knew.. Well, it's my choice.. N after all, people across the other side of the planet don't practise confinement n eating pizza is a norm n it was my comfort food too! =p

Breastfeeding is also another area that I decided not to stress myself too much with.. Coz during the previous time, I was so strict on myself that I wouldn't allow anyone to give Joy formula milk. To me then, formula was juz like "poison" and it was best she be introduce at a much later stage.  This time round, as Grace n Vera were premmies, they had to take formula. It was not an option at all as the PD was concerned w their initial low sugar levels. I took it to my stride n continued to breastfeed as much as I can. Even now, when they've become more accustomed to bottle feeding, I told myself that I will give as much as I can. And most importantly , the best gift for the kids is not breastmilk but Mummy's Love. And that shall be my focus.

D + 3 Days

Day 3

After delivery on Friday, everything still seems so fairy tale. That the twins are finally here, that after all the struggles w infertility, our precious gifts are here.

Both of them r doing well, and they look completely diff so there wont b a case of mistaken identity. And we r so grateful for all the blessings showered by God, our family and friends.

Tom we will be checking out of the hospital and starting on our new life! Although I had wanted to stay at the hospital for a couple more days, but due to unforeseen circumstances, we will leave Tom. I'm very grateful for the love and care showered upon us by the doctors and nurses here. The nurses here, are especially caring and I really admire their courage to be a nurse, really!

Tom we will have to cope with living w/0 help, and the uncertainty does bring fear along with it. I pray to God right now that You be with us when we go home, that we will be able to cope with the day to day taking care of the kids, the household , that I will remain sane while being able to cope with breastfeeding . Lord, I pray that You help me bf the girls, that I will have enough to feed both of them, that they will be able to latch well so that I don't suffer from any sore nipples n other discomforts. I pray that we will be able to cope well , in Jesus name I pray , amen !

D Day

At 230am after finishing my last dose of medication for the evening , I find myself super awake. It's difficult to zz on the hospital bed and I've forgotten how I managed to do that 5 yrs ago!  Unlike uncle pig who is "sound sound" asleep, although I'm tired , I find it super uncomfortable to lie on the inclined bed. Oh dear! I don't know how I can survive the few nights here..  My next course of medication is at 6am and I do hope that I can catch some sleep before that.  oh! N something impressive abt the toiletries here! It's all from Crabtree & Evelyn! Haha.. Nice surprise though I'm not a fan la.. Haha

--------

It's now coming to 7.. I've taken the meds at 6am n doc will b doing his rounds at abt 8.. Would like to know if we would b seeing the twins today or Tom . My initial suggestion was for me to stay for another day n we will do the surgery on sat. But uncle pig feels that we shld juz do it today coz he don't c a major diff in waiting for another day. N the prolong wait will only make me more tired. Hmm.. I was still hoping that maybe the doc can discharge me today n I will come bk again on week 37 for the original scheduled surgery. Well, we will c how it goes. Having waited for so long for the twins, the last few hrs can b excruciating. 

-----------

@ 12pm, the gynae has confirmed that we will be doing a c-section later this evening at 7pm. I'm supposed to take this last meal, before I start to fast. It's pretty exciting and yes, finally, we are gonna see the babies soon! The feeling can't be described and I'm just so excited that we will finally see our little princesses soon. God is so good!

---------

@ 645pm, I was wheeled to the operating theatre. Uncle Pig was taking some final pictures, before all the action begin. Right now, I'm simply nervous. I just pray that the operation will be successful, and that the gals will be fine. =p

@ 730pm, the girls are out, and we hear their loud cries! Both are healthy, and Grace weighs 2.78kg, while Vera weighs 2.74kg. Although only 40 grams apart, their size looks a lot different.

Thank God for the smooth delivery, and once again, for creating the miracles that we have prayed for! Amen!

Week 36 update

It is with a heavy heart that I'm composing this entry. Juz seen my gynae and he's concerned abt my raised blood pressure & protein in urine. So here I am , at the labour ward monitoring my blood pressure n Bbs' heartbeats to c if it's necessary to do an earlier delivery or if we could wait till 3rd of may.

1) weight gain
@ 36 weeks they r abt 3.1 kg each n my total weight gain is 20 kg! Faints! So much weight gain..

2) status update
After staying at the labour ward for the whole day I'm finally shifted back to the normal ward! Yippee! Much as I want a normal delivery , looking at how things r, I think most likely we will either do a c sec on fri or sat (assuming I can tahan further) coz the additional days I drag, the longer the twins can stay in and develop further. Well, we will c when the gynae comes tomorrow la..

Right now , I'm juz thankful that Joy is coping well with all. In fact, she sounded pretty chirpy at my mom's place when I called her an hr ago. I'm hoping that she can tahan her first night w/0 us.. And if so, then she doesn't need to bunk in at the hospital with us.

Pls also pray that the twins will come in God's timing and also if possible a normal delivery. However, the most important thing is that they will be delivered safely and if a c sec is required, may God grant the doc the wisdom to decide otherwise. Pray that I can zz well to prepare for the delivery, that I will be optimistic with everything, that I will be in the best spirits. Thank God for all that He has blessed us and we are looking forward to embarking on the new exciting journey together. In Jesus name I pray, amen !

When will it be my turn?

Today I had a gathering with my friends and we were all talking abt our delivery experiences and due dates. It's been a long wait for me and now I'm left with 10 more days. I had wanted to really tahan till week 37, but the excruciating pains experienced last night made me tempted to shorten it to week 36. 

Surely there won't be much of a difference bet 36th and 37th week right? I mean, yes there will be a difference la but will the difference b significant? So much so that is it worthwhile to wait for an additional 7 more days? I was an owl last night, having only zz fr 730am - 9, and another half hr at 1130am. Zz was difficult n a rare commodity. N if this repeats for the next ten days, by the time the twins r here, I seriously doubt I would have any ounce of energy left to take care of them. 

Having heard of mummies delivering their twins super early in their pregnancy, I'm thankful that I managed to last till now but I'm also tempted to shorten it myself. I really wanna c the twins soon too! Kinda excited n wondering if they will look like joy.. Haha.. Hopefully the excitement don't set me off to another sleepless night. Hopefully my water bag burst tonight! Hopefully hopefully hopefully.. Hopefully tonight I can zz well and change my mind!

Relationships can be so fragile..

Had lunch with a very old friend today. Had always wanted to catch up with her but bcoz all of us were busy with our own lives, we only met at major occasions like weddings etc.. I initiated today's lunch bcoz I suspected that something was going wrong between her n hubz. Both of them were my personal friends and crossed their paths at my 21st birthday party, dated and got married.. It was a long relationship that span more than ten years and I was delighted when it was finally their turn to walk the aisle a couple of years ago.. But relationships can be so fragile at times. There was another woman in the picture, they started  barely a few mths ago and hubz is now sure that "she" is the one and wanna end the marriage. My heart sank when my friend told me this. She was still in love with this man, wanna forget him n give each other another chance. But the decision was not mutual. It seems so unbelievable. 

Right now, I juz pray that she will pick things up soon, that the wounds would heal soon although I think it always take time. Oh God, I pray for this couple, that You fix their relationship , that You carry her and You heal her wounds. I pray that she/they will turn to You, to know you and I pray that in the midst of all these, something gd will come out of it. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

Week 35 update

It's been a slow week but finally we are at week 35. Everyday seems to be passing by slowly n the wait seems so long. Anyway @ week 35, it seems a milestone on its own. I've passed 7 days and there's another 14 days left. (small yeah!)

1) weight gain
- its a lot! I've gain 4kg since last week! Gasp! The twins are at abt 2.8kg each.. They've only gain 300 grams each since last week weighing . Anyway the gynae did reassure me that the huge gain is normal for a twin pregnancy n I really shldnt b worrying too much. He's quite pleased with how the twins developed and commented that it would be nice if we could push ourselves a little bit more n tahan till week 36. 

2) delivery date
- it was original slated to b on the 3rd of may but looking at how uncomfortable I am w the swollen feet, my backaches n everything, the gynae did say that we can push the date earlier, but Ideally it would b best if we can tahan tahan, so that the girls can stay in me n grow fully. Yes, I'm really trying, trying to tolerate all of it that comes along. Zz has not been easy, together with the pains n swollen feet n not able to do much except be waited on. 

In no time I won't be able to see my toes i guess! But in the midst of all these discomforts , I'm also so appreciative of what God has done for me, by blessing us with two wonderful lives. Uncle Pig says to look at this as a situation that God has set for me, a challenge for me to overcome. If I could overcome all the heartaches while TTC-ing back then, this surely is a manageable task for me. Ultimately, God is with us all the time n in times of despair, we just hv to look to Him, for help.  Yes, it will be manageable for me and yes I should try to be more optimistic abt it. I still have Uncle Pig and Joy who dotes on me n waits on me like a queen. I'm so thankful for them in my lives and I really should count my blessings. I love them and I thank God for them. 

Okie, shall stop here for now. Trying my best to be optimistic and happy abt things and counting each day as it goes by. For now, let's juz look forward to week 36. :p

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18