A step of faith

Joy's been quite a darling recently.. she will touch my tummy and says "mei mei is inside, i wanna touch her"
Sometimes I will play along w her n sometimes I will believe her.. that it's her child instinct telling me tat i'm pregnant.. funny how one will trust a 3 yr old in this aspect but i guess it's bcoz this is the only hope/dream tat i can cling on...
There were times when after playing "pretend" and my period comes, the disappointment fully consumes me such tat there were nothing much I can do except hug a pillow to cry.. but I know tat God loves us n much as we don't understand y we need to go thru all these, I juz need to rem tat God loves us and each challenge given to us is a leap of faith and He's always with us.

- When there's faith, there's hope..

MYOB..

Have you ever met with people who's ever so insistent abt their views? Such that they will just go on and on and on, abt their views and that only they are right? I always dread meeting hubz's relatives coz they will always insist that hubz quit his baking job and go back to being an engineer.. but in the first place, shldnt the decision be based on his personal choice?

Hubz has always been a household person. He can do all the housework and he enjoys it while i've always been doing relatively well in my sales career. So many years ago, even before Joy came into the picture, we have already decided that should we need a full time parent at home, it will be him since both of us enjoy our own environments, which can also be classified as Division of Labour or Specialization of trade?? But after so many years, his relatives were never supportive, always ridicule him tat he should come out and get a proper job. But hello, we dont need his income to maintain the household. But what we really need, is his time and energy in maintaining the household! Juz becoz you guys need a dual income, doesnt mean that the whole world needs that! Please wake up to yr ideas Please!

The 2nd part that i cant tolerate is that ever since hubz started his biz at fortune centre, this same grp of relatives kept inssisting that we change our place: to a HDB shopfront, whereby we can stay on the 2nd floor and he can operate his biz on the 1st floor. Their rationale is at least we can save the rent (maybe a couple thousnds), but at the same time, we would hv to spend hundreds of thousands just to buy that place!!??? this silly conversation has carried on for so many mths that i'm so sick of it.. if it really works, why dont you do that? It irritates me when I see people so insistent, and yet, when it comes to starting a biz, they juz shrug away and say its not for them! Since its not for them, then please MYOB! Please understand that much as yr idea is gd, we dont have the capital to get another place, nor am i interested to stay on the 2nd floor. Our stand now is juz to build our current client database, and since our bakery is in relatively town, that's where we are sticking to. You can decide on yr own biz, but please dont stick yr nose into ours! MYOB!

- But God chose what the world thinks foolish to shame the wise, and God chose what the world thinks weak to shame the strong. 1 Corr 1: 27

Blessings from work

Lord, I'm thankful for the blessings you've granted me in my biz.. it makes me always wonder.. y is it so easy for u to bless my biz but nv with a baby? is it bcoz of my utmost faith I have in you when it comes work? N yet when it comes to the latter, I'm always trying so hard that I may be ignoring your words? Lord, I surrender to you.. in ALL aspects of my life..i pray tat you give me the peace, the ability to have complete obedience in U and tat you give me wisdom to share yr miracles with a fellow friend so that they may too be able to know you more
- Amen -

Little Mercies

Thank God for the little mercies shown upon me! Even though it was raining, it stopped whenever I needed it to.. Thank God for that!

The Wrong Order?

Have we ever received a wrong order of our food before? ie. Ordered a fish but it turned out to be beef? and usually we'll always insist a change of our food.. but what abt God? Has He ever given us a wrong order? Last nite the topic at CG was abt the wrong order.. somet times when we pray for a specific thing, God doesnt give it.. does that mean that God has forgotten? Or did God issue a wrong order? No, He is the Almighty and when He gives, He gives FAR BETTER than we can ever imagine.. His plans for us are always FAR BETTER than we can ever dream of.. and when I hear this msg, I really feel that it's so true in my heart..

Every time when I pray for my work, God delivers, not juz the amt tat I prayed for but MANY MANY times more.. and I know that this is only possible bcoz it is God.. Today's msg did make me calmer and maybe sometimes what we want is so specific but only He knows best and whats best for us may not always be in the way/form tat we anticipate it will be but I'm sure God knows whats ideal for us and we juz have to be patient and obey...

-- Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don't worry abt evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Stop being angry! Turn from yr rage! Do not lose yr temper - it only leads to harm. For the wicked will be destroyed, but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land. (Psalm 37: 7-9)

Are We ready?

Recently, the idea of adoption kept popping into my mind...especially after a powerful message by Pastor Dale on Hope... I ask hubz if he would be open to it and his reply was that God has asked him to a long time ago but I wasnt open then.. at that spur of the moment, i told him to prepare the process coz i tink i'm ready... or am I?

Maybe yes, maybe no.. i really dont know.. after hearing the sermon, images of Joy playing with her kid sister flashes.. i know i know, she's been wanting for a mei-mei for the longest time ever.. and it hurts, when I see her play by herself.. but will I be able to accept the new member as family, w/o any prejudice and really treat her as my own? Will the sisters fight? Will Joy ever regret her desire of having another child? Is my heart big enuff to love both daughters and will william ever have time for me then? I really hope for a complete family, not that its not complete now, juz that with 2 kids, it kinda make the whole family more completed..

Lord, you are the Almighty, and you are the creator of everything. I pray that you give me the peace in choosing the paths, direct me in Your Plans, and guide me along.. i'm fearful and I pray that you carry me in yr ways..

A new Beginning...

I've been wanting to do this and while I was trying to set up a "new" blog.. i found one which hubz created for me a long time ago...i thought that it would be a gd idea to keep track of my emotions and maybe one day, just one day, when God grants me a 2nd child, I can be reminded of His grace towards me & my family..