Saying goodbye for my deeply sensitive child

One morning while Vera and I were spending our special one on one, I told Vera excitedly that we have finally found a buyer for the bunk bed. Her heart sank. She was under the impression that the bunk bed was going to her brother’s (which was the initial plan until we realize that his tiny room wasn’t able to fit). Our mistake for not updating her too. I honestly didn’t expect that we would be able to find a buyer so fast. 

Anyway, my deeply sensitive child was feeling super super sad. You could see the deep anguish in her eyes and overall body language. She wasn’t sulking or throwing a tantrum etc. She was just sad and quiet. The me one year ago would probably say “ Can you not be so drama? Just tell me what’s wrong with you etc!!” .. 

This was what I did. I patted her on her back, look at her eye to eye and said the following:

Me: “My dear, I know you are feeling sad over the bunk bed. I know you are EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED to it. And farewells are hard. I know. Shall we do a farewell party for the bed? We could take some pictures with it, say a prayer, and do a sleepover together this weekend?”

Vera: she shrugged 

Me: You can think abt the ways we can do the farewell. Just like how we recently held a funeral for yr shoes (too small) and my slippers. 妈妈知道你不舍得离开你的床 but Unfortunately, our new place does not have the space for it.

I gave her a moment to digest. 

She agrees to the sale. (Coz I was prepared to tell William not to do it if she really can’t handle)

By lunch time, she was fine. 

These were photos we took the night before the movers came. I was unfortunately unable to be around due to a late night zoom 🥹 but I’m glad that William and I both acknowledged her feelings. 

When I came back, I ask Joy why she wasn’t in the picture, she 🙄🙄🙄 and said “it’s just a bed Mom”. 

Every child is unique and special. I’m starting to enjoy my time with this special child. 

Fast forward to today, the movers came and over dinner we had a conversation.

Me: “so vera what do u feel now?”

Vera: mummy! My room is so big now!!! I’m so happy! 

I’m so glad that we turned something sad into a teachable and sweet memory for all of us. She has taught me how to be more sensitive towards her feelings and emotions, something all of us used to brush off easily. 

Feeling proud of my progress as a parent. Wouldn’t have been possible if Shu hadn’t given me some pointers on how to relate to deeply sensitive kids. So thankful that our paths crossed 🥰