Sunday, March 26, 2017

Parenting is hard

It's one of those days when everything that could go wrong, went wrong. Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's the hormones, maybe it's becoz of the frequent bickering among the girls.. but it's so overwhelming for me last night..that when joy threw another of her "the world owes me" black face during dinner time , I was exhausted.  I stood up and said I had enough. I had no appetite for dinner and went to the room. I was exhuasted. And her non appreciative attitude was the last straw for me. I gave up.

Maybe God shld nt have made me their mom. Maybe He should have given them a more capable mummy who could cook and still parent and even work. I was struggling with managing joy and her tween behaviour.. struggling with her "Why muz it be me attitude; her y do we have twins attitude? Or simply y can't mummy be juz mine only ?" And it's definitely not helping when most of her BFFs are only child.. I feel so overwhelmed even thinking of what happened last night.. like can I pray to God that perhaps I could ask for another clone of me?

It's like another dimensional shift towards parenting..where's the textbook guide for level 3? What should be the model answers to parenting? It's not juz making sure they eat and sleep well.. not only making sure they do their homework.. but also making sure they grow up to b of gd character. To have empathy for others. To make sure that their world doesn't comprises of them alone only but to care enough for their family and strangers as well. No one told me that parenting was this hard. Perhaps if anyone told me, I won't have sign up for this.

Praying to God for wisdom to overcome the obstacles ahead, for strength and stamina and faith to carry forward . I believe that all these will come to past one day, and all these are part of training to be a better me. In the meantime, pls God help me along..

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Learning to live a minimalist lifestyle

The man helped cut my fringe this evening, after some pleading from me bcoz he is currently v busy. Trust me, ever since we came back fr the cruise, there has been  juz loads n loads of washing , drying and ironing.. even now at 1am, he has yet to complete his iron duties. Note to us: remember to wash our clothes midway of the trip to prevent backlog !😊

Anyway, this wasn't the first time he cut my fringe..he has cut my plus the girls several times.. juz tt now that the girls all wanna keep long fringe, I am his only customer. 

Growing up, my mom has always been the family barber.. my dad, brother and I all grew up under her cutting skills.. so it was quite funny when we had to wait and "queue" while mama completes her barber duties.

N now this job has been passed on to Mr choo.. juz tt day during reunion dinner, my sis asked where I cut my fringe.. coz she wanna cut something like tt.. she say it's like the "空气流海"; some craze going on.. I burst out laughing n told her that Mr choo can help her cut if she wants.. hahaha

Anyway, today he didn't do a perfect job, but it's fine.. hair grow , and it's a hassle to go to thr salon juz to cut the fringe.. expensive too..been trying to convert to a minimalist lifestyle, which Mr choo is pretty into recently too..

Counted the total number of shoes I have that day.. til date, I hv 2 pair of slippers, 1 pair of sport shoes , 1 pair of boots and abt 9 pair of work shoes (6 black, 2 beige and 1 red) ! Omg.. that's quite a lot right..
Have been trying to wear them out and cut down the number of footwear I have.. I'm not a caterpillar..so I really don't need soooooooo many pairs.. lol.. to be honest, out of the 9 pairs, most of them belong to the not-comfy-to-wear category..the ones that are comfy have since been worn out and threw away... it's like a "headcount freeze" coz I'm trying to reduce my footwear and only buy/keep what I need.. praying everyday that my feet change and grow to like them.. how many shoes do u have? Let me know! 😚

Friday, March 17, 2017

5 is a magical number

Recently I met a client for review. She also had a pair of twins (boys) who are turning 2. The last time I saw her was during her confinement, and now that her boys have started childcare, she can finally come out and do a review. Her first comment when she saw me was " How did I cope?" "How did I even manage to work and be sane?" 

Indeed, those days of my life has long been over, and much as I love my kids, I won't want to go back to that era again. I assured her that things WILL get better, told her to look at me. I didn't die, nor did I kill the girls. So she should be comforted that light is at the end of the tunnel SOON. It will only get easier as time passes. =)

As I was reflecting during one of my quiet moments, I realize that now that the twins are coming to 5, life has been good to me. The girls have been pretty managable, even with the helper gone for 3 months now. We even went to a cruise recently, and I didn't recall feeling overwhelmed or helpless at any stage during the trip. Even when we go on meals outside, we usually bring only a packet of wipes and a bottle of water. Such is the life now. 5 is a magical number. At least to me. 5 is the age when joy was, when we had the twins. And I remember feeling loved by her acts all the time. I do experience such acts now that Grace is at the same age.

I did an update of Joy previously, so I thought I do one for the twins as well. So this shall be it:

Grace - The Sentimental kid


She is the latch kid at birth, refusing to wean off despite both her sisters having weaned off night feeds much earlier. She only relented when she was about 3. I remember the times we had our night battles, when she would wake up at 2am (every night), and cry for milk. She would hug the whole can of formula, crying and begging that I make her a bottle, like mommy pls.. just a bottle today..for the last time PLSSssssss.... and this continues every night.. till I surrendered. She won. But of coz she finally stopped before she turned 4?

Joy was an emo kid when she was 5, but Grace is a sentimental emo kia! After the helper left, she has cried for at least 3 times in the evening requesting for her to come back. This did come as a surprise to me, coz the child that was most attached to the helper was Vera. Grace was mine..lol.. if you know what I mean. No one could come close to me when she's around. On the last night of the cruise, I was briefly telling her that she won't see the friendly teachers she met in the kids club anymore, she teared. She was truly sad. She requested to celebrate her bday (next mth) on the cruise again, just so that she could see the teachers again. Reaching home, she refused to cut her cruise tag, becoz she's sentimental.

At 5, she definitely swims better than any of her sisters and despite the near drowning incident, she definitely loves the water. 





She is the affectionate kid, who will kiss me and her sisters everywhere. Be it the face, the body, the arm pits, and even the feet. That's the extent of her love for us. Her love is HUGE for us. 

Being the middle child, I do feel that she does inherit the middle child characteristics. She will listen to the older sister, and give in to Vera even though she might like to have it as well. But she can be quite "bull" at times, bull-charging when things don't get her way. Unlike vera who is able to read situations, Grace is more innocent and will simply charge when she wants her things. I don't know which is preferred, but at times when you see her throw her tantrums, you wish that she understand and know where is the line that we draw and say No.

Praying to God to guide her in her growing years, that He grant her favour..


Vera - My youngest child

She has been a challenging child since birth. Being colicky and always needing someone to carry her, I remember her battles with Mr choo during her infant days. Now that she's 5, she is still challenging although in different ways. Juz tonight, when we were abt to sleep at 1am, Mr choo went out to take his hp and when he opened the door, our dear darling was sitting at the passage corridor playing with Donald (pet hamster). I have no idea when she woke up and it pains me to see her playing alone with Donald. She shld have woke us up if she has prob sleeping.

Even before 5, she knows clearly how to read people's moods and situations. In circumstances when it's not in her favor, she will not go head on and demand her ways, unlike her two elder sisters who are still childlike and unable to foresee "weather conditions". I'm not seeing that it's not a gd trait, but sometimes the ability to do so and use it in her own favor is worrying.  I do hope that her 小聪明 will not harm her in more ways.
She is stubborn and very much like me. Even when she was younger, I could see her temperament exactly like when I was dating Mr choo.. volatile; unpredictable and he often had to guess what I was thinking abt. This, she mastered before she turned 3. When I prayed for God to have a child like me, I certainly didn't expect a child that is so me! As I often say, if Joy is the child that leads me to have more kids, vera is the full stop to that desire. I feel that with her, I needed to spend even more time to understand her and watch over her, so that she doesn't be led astray.

Unlike her two chek cheks, she is not the conventional box that u can put her or mould her into. She thinks in ways u don't expect and parenting certainly took to a new level that I am still learning.
Despite all the challenges and struggles with Vera, she is still my child and I love her with all my heart ❤ When she is in the right mood, she will open up and talk to u , as much as she wants and she will help her sisters to do all the tasks required. When she is in the right mood, she can be as sweet as cotton candy.

I juz pray that God will grant me the wisdom to lead and guide her, to understand her. I pray that God will watch over her and protect her, that she will continue to grow in His favor.




When trust fades...

It's hard when trust is not around.

Recently a gd client that has been with me for many yrs, turned sour. He started to qn why the savings policies that I've recommended him has -ve returns. Certainly savings should appreciate over time right? Yes, I agree too. Otherwise it's not called savings. The policies doesn't have negative returns, but they are meant to be held til maturity. Early surrender will only mean huge penalties, thus u will see -ve returns. And this insurer has been delivering it's returns all these yrs, and is the only insurer that has never cut its bonuses before. (从来有cut过)

"Then why my other policy (from outside) even if I surrender now will be at least higher than capital?"

"Yr other policies have been with you since >20 yrs ago. So it would have breakeven. The fact that even after >20yrs, it is marginally higher than yr capital means that savings plans are engineered to be held for the long term." I patiently replied

"Then why is this xxx policy (from outside) that's only gotten recently having positive returns ?"

"That, my client, is an ILP. It is purely an investment plan with no guarantees. In gd times, yr returns might be higher than the savings plans, in bad times it might eat into yr capital." I explained. "It's hard to compare between the 2 plans coz they are in 2 different asset classes, with different risk and thus diff returns." I continued.

A few days later, while I was on the cruise with thr kids, he texted me again.

"Why is my #2 insured for only $70k!? My #1 the policy is covered for $100k! (from outside) "

"Yr #2 life insurance policy covers for a minimum  $175k if claim is before age 65, where it would be  $70k + bonuses thereafter. "

"But my #1 covers for $125k before age 70 and covers for 40 dread diseases."

At this point, I was really tired of arguing. I prayed for peace and wisdom and told them that I'm overseas. I would revert when I come back.

When I came back today, God pointed me to search a particular client's folder. So happened that this client has the same policy as the above #1.

I printscreen the product features. The plan covers for $125k for the first 15 yrs.  It covers for 30 dread diseases (Full stop)

Sometimes when the trust fades, even the smallest wildest accusation also need to be clarified. I could go via the angry tone like what the client did, and told him to read his own policy documents.  But would I gain? Angry + angry = super angry

I'm no saint either.  But I choose to take a step back and let the facts speak for itself. My conscience is clear. I have never sold anyone based on MY needs. It was always their needs and what's most beneficial to them. If I had done any mis-selling back then, then the facts would not be on my side. It wont be easy to explain, especially when the trust fades.

There are battles where I fight; and there's battles where I point and direct. If the trust is not here, then even if I had the most ideal plan, he would have doubts.  Bcoz at the end of the day, client buy US, not the product.  And when trust is not here, it's time to let go.

Anyway I've done what's required and will let God take care of the rest.

Thursday, March 2, 2017

How much does it cost to have a cuppa these days?

#Backpost 28/2/17

Juz ordered a cuppa hot chocolate @ this cafe -- $8! So expensive.. haiz.. client had suggested this place though I was really hoping that she suggest friendlier places like Starbucks (which happened to be having 1 for 1 this week) or TCC (where I still have some credits there). Even J.Co which is juz opp seems like a better option. Then my next immediate thought was : " I better close my appt later!" So bad! lol.. I corrected myself before sinking further.

God, I pray that You grant me wisdom in the appt later, I pray that You give me the right words to say to the appt, to help them manage their finances. God, guard my heart that I say not only the right things, but the things that You will be proud of.

On a separate note, I wanna pray for a friend who has lost his father. I pray that You console the family, and provide support & comfort. I'll be attending the funeral later and in all honesty, I'm a little nervous. Nervous coz I haven't see this friend for > 5 yrs; we kinda have a strained relationship ever since he divorced his wife who happens to be my fren also. Nervous becoz funerals are occasions that I don't really know how to react. Decided to go despite all reasons becoz I hope I will be able to give some support and encouragement to this friend. Praying that God help him cope with his sorrows, in Jesus name I pray, amen!

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Psalms 27:14

Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord. Psalms 27:14

Was feeling feverish and lethargic after I woke up from my nap. I still hv 2 more appts to go tonight. Mr choo say I should reschedule them and rest at home. Looking at my schedule, I told him that I don't have a slot for them to be rescheduled. Looking at my schedule, it seems that I can't afford to fall sick these 2 weeks. I'm not complaining. I'm thankful that I have a intense 2 weeks ahead before we go on our cruise. But at the same time I am worried that I don't hv the stamina to last these 2 weeks.

Hoping that the fever subsidies and I will b well enough to conduct the appts later. Praying for God s strength that He heals me and cover me in these times.