Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Remembering a friend...

Coincedentally, today was the birthday of a very special friend, someone whom, becoz of her, I started writing and praying to God purposefully. How times have changed.. I wonder always, how she would have grown as an adviser if she had continued on with her life, if she would get married, have kids etc.

I remember after her passing on, every now and then, while waiting for my appt to come, I will always pray and write to God; for her for me and for the many many things. If she's still here, she would be in her 9th yr in this biz. Sometimes I wonder, why didn't God save her; or what would have happened if I had smsed her a day earlier, instead of the day things happened? Would things have changed? Or did God save her, just that we didn't know? All these, I wouldn't know. I just pray that God, You stretch your hand to her; even though she's no longer around.

Deeply missed in my heart and always believing that we will meet again, someday some how.

Lazy Afternoon

- Posted on 23rd Nov -

@ 340pm, I'm enjoying my carrot cake and strawberry shake; my "me" time before going to Joy's school to pick her. The princess's instructions was to come NO EARLIER than 445pm (note the precision).

After having kid(s), you realise how one shifts his/her priorities and let the child(ren) take centrestage. Indeed, I'm sure 10 yrs ago, @ 21 yrs old, I never imagine that @ 31, I would be married to a wonderful man/husband and father of my 3 kids.

@ 21, I most probably was more concerned about my 21 yr old birthday bash and busy preparing for my FYP. But i was already attached to Uncle pig back then. =) Though i didnt realize he was the ONE back then. No such visualization about marrying him or even having kids either! Yes, I didnt even believe that i would get married, not to mention having kids.

Look at how things have changed in a short span of 10 yrs. Happily married, mother of 3 lovable kids & probably a lot of pounds heavier in weight, I'm thankful to God for all that He's done for me. The roundabouts that I've walked in my r/s with Uncle Pig, the struggles with everything; motherhood, breastfeeding, depression, infertility, etc.. so many challenges in life, which schould would nv be able to prepare us fully. But God, he prepares the road ahead for us. He walks with us and guides us in every step, every path.

I wonder how would my life be @ 41? Would it be such a drastic change as compared to the past decade? Would my loved ones start to leave this world by then? I'm worried and scared, esp whenever Uncle Pig reminds me of the inevitable truth that one day he will leave this world and I really should learn to take care of myself before that happens. Yes, it irritates me, even though I'm a Christian and I know I will see him again eventually. It always makes me cry whenever I think about the possibility that he might not be able to withness the girls grow up, get a job, get married, have kids etc and growing old together. And whenever this happens, I remind myself that I really should treasure him more NOW. And I do hope that we'll be able to grow old together, that we'll be able to bicker, stratch his back and enjoy his cooking and travel together.

In the bible, Matthew talks about worries and how we should leave it to God. It's always my favourite massage. Guess I just have to surrender completely to Him and know that He has plans for every one of us.

Okie, shall stop now. Time to make my way there, by the princess orders.

Matthew 6:25-34

25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God[a] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

False Alarm?

- Posted on 15th Nov -

Sometime in Aug, my period was late for a good 15 days before arriving, causing so much distress to myself. Coz back then, the twins were barely 4 mths old n we were barely surviving n the last thing I want is another surprise.  Yes, those were the days.

Come fast forward to Nov, and this time round my period is late again! Though I hvnt really been keeping track of it. Esp when my period is unstable now due to breast feeding . I am a little excited abt it but at the same time I'm afraid that we might not be prepared for it. Of course, God always go ahead of us and help prepare us for the journey ahead. So we shall c. May God prepare us for whatever that's ahead , In Jesus name I pray,
- Amen

P/s: and yes, we are not buying a kit to test. Whatever will come, will come. :p
p/s (2): by press time, the period came liaoz..haha... =p

Finally, an answer!

- Posted on 9th Nov -

We finally found the answer to Grace cranky nights - breastmilk ! Yes, wat she's been looking for all these while is breastmilk , not me la.. Hahaha.. Another bittersweet moment .. But I'm coping well.

After our malacca trip, I was just randomly talking to uncle pig today that Vera seems to be preferring FM more than BM, thus the reason why she always drink much lesser when it's BM but always seem to have a big appetite when we are overseas. And after several testing, it's official! Vera is a FM baby, which I'm okie too.. So she would b solely on FM except when she's on cereal.

Grace on the other hand behaves exactly opp of Vera.. She can drink a lot of BM but when it comes to FM, she can actually skip a feed! So she's a BM Kia! Haha.. So anyway uncle pig decided to give BM as the final feed for Grace, which she happily drink n zz! No struggles no crying.. Happy grace!

Friday, November 2, 2012

Living my life as a fugitive part 2

After nearly 2 hrs since my last post, Uncle Pig and I succumbed to Grace request. It was not because she kept crying but bcoz she kept having disturbed sleep tat we decided tt she shld c me . It was as if she was waiting up for someone while catching some rest.

Once I sat next to her, her two arms stretched out to me excitingly, with a beaming smile. I carried n hug her for a while before putting her back to zz. While sleeping she held on tightly to my hand, and kept smiling in her sleep! The moment was priceless and to me, it meant the entire world. The moment when I meant the world to her, and she to me. Such is the joy of parenting and motherhood.

And she zzz soundly through the night.

Living my life as a fugitive Part 1

About a mth ago, I started to nurse Grace every morning, esp after Vera decided tt her nursing days are over. Maybe because of this, maybe because she has also started to recognize people , Grace has started to b more attached to me. Then started the nights when she will cry n cry, refusing to let daddy do the closing and I had to rush in to "rescue " .

That kinda started my closing days with Grace , about a mth ago. Initially because I was always st home for most nights, plus with our Penang intensive care, she started to wait. Yes, wait for mummy to come back to close her. Honestly it felt shiok to feel wanted, esp when I seldom spend time w them in the day. I even told my colleagues tt I was kinda happy deep down. But as the days passed, something need to be done, to change this. Not bcoz I'm tired of closing her, but bcoz I won't b home for most nights n I can't bear to her waiting for me , crossing her bedtime.

So today, after showering Joy, I " disappeared" into Joy's room, so tt daddy can do the closing. Despite hearing her cries and knowing exactly wat she wanted, I juz hide myself . It was a terrible feeling but it took shorter than I expected for her to zz, which was a great relief.

But after zz for abt an hour, she started to fuss again. Maybe cause she could hear my voice. Maybe she could sense me looking at her in her sleep . I had to secretly go out to get water, to go to the toilet n also hid in the room so that I don't give her the wrong signals again - living like a fugitive .

I really wanted to juz go to her n tske her from uncle pig, so tt I can settled her easily n we all could zz. But what happens if I do tt?? She might wake up again Tom , hoping tt mummy s around . Yes, even though I might b able to remedy the situation today , then wat abt Tom or the day after ? There was no easy way out. The separation was Antagonizing n painful. It also reminded me abt Joy s days when she would wait til 10-11 plus late at nights no matter how tired she was, even though I didn't nurse her bk then. She eventually stopped waiting after entering childcare coz it was really too tiring for her.. Haha..
I do hope tt my fugitive days would b over soon..

6 months old

- Posted on 27th Oct 2012 -

I never thought this day would come, when the twins are finally 6 months old! Yes, it's been 6 mths since the girls entered into our lives and we've managed to survive! Yes, we survived, in the midst of hearsays that taking care of multiples can b a nightmare , but yes, we've crossed the 6 mth mark.

It wasn't a nightmare or as exhausting as I thought it would b, although yes, we do have our share of exhaustion days .

Having them thus far has been more of a dream come true, then a nightmare la. Waking up in the wee hours, n seeing them sound asleep, is pure bliss.. I think all parents agree with me tt babies look most adorable when they are asleep.. Haha..

I thought I better record some of the milestones they hv reached, before I forget abt them.

@ 6 months:

1) Drinking
- On average, Grace drinks abt 4-5 oz every 3 hourly, with a 7 oz for her closing feed. Vera, on the other hand, is still pretty volatile. She can drink 3-5 oz every 3 hourly, sometimes skipping a feed if we are outside n she's simply too distracted to think abt drinking. Both of them are drinking pretty much the same amt as when they were during the 1st mth.

2) feeding
- we started on cereal a mth ago. So far, Vera is the one who's easier to feed. She can finish abt 3 teaspoons and asking for more while Grace doesn't really enjoy the eating yet.

3) Sleeping
- Grace usually zz fr 7pm-7 am , though she's been waking up for a feed for the past two days. I hope that's only temporary. Vera , is the challenging one . She wakes up every night , not bcoz she needs to feed, but simply to chat w her papa. They would watch tv, chat n after 2 hrs, end up zz in the living room. I hope this will stop soon too

4) flipping
- Grace started to flip abt 4 mths old and is pretty gd at it now. It is no longer safe to put her on the bed, even with pillows blocking. Vera on the other hand, is not keen on flipping at all. She turns abt 90 deg and that's abt it, which I'm okie w it la..

5) Crawling
Grace has started to crawl backwards for the past 2 days with Vera only watching her sister do all the stunts

Think that's about all, gotten rush and take care of my kids for now... =p

Thursday, November 1, 2012

- Posted on 21st Oct -

Penang trip

Abt 2-3 months ago, my mom suggested that she bring Joy to Penang, together with her company employees. After discussing with Uncle Pig, we decided that it was time for the whole village to embark on their first ever family trip! Yesh! When the twins are barely 6mths, the Choos are flying!

The decision back then was because its been almost 2 yrs since our last trip with Korea being our last trip and a last min cancelled HK due to my eye operation. We wanted to finally bring Joy overseas again, since she has always loved to travel or maybe it was the delight from the in flight entertainment .

Now, almost 1 week before the trip, I certainly was not looking forward to it.. Dunno how we r gonna manage the flight , the budget flight (yesh, we r flying budget!) esp since with the arrival of Joy , we have never flew a budget flight before, not counting the ad hoc hours that Vera is zz nowadays plus the need to sneak in a few pumping sessions in the midst of a package tour! It does seem a handful , but William and joy are so looking forward to it, such that the enthuasium does spill over to me too. Well, like wat I tell some of my friends, it's only for 3 days and we will pull through it all. :p

2 days prior the trip, and the twins are plagued with a fever due to a vaccination jab, with Grace having diarrhea as well. In fact, her diarrhea continued throughout the trip. Plus Joy came down with a super high fever on the end of the first night . She muz have gotten it from sch as few of her classmates have juz recovered from the fierce virus . It was the first time her fever crossed 40degrees. She went from being energetic to restless, to shivering. Despite the episode, I thank God for giving us the chance to take gd care of Joy during this trip. Looking at her now, n recalling the many times I snapped at all, it juz dawned on me that she is after all, a five yr old. Her independence has sometimes made me take her for a young adult , but she is after all a child, who yearns for the attention of her parents. Shall make it an effort not to neglect her again .

The trip was fun , despite all the many episodes. I manage to really spend 3 whole days w my family n even though I didn't get to visit much of Penang or taste their local delights , it was still fun coz it juz means that travelling was possible . N maybe next time we can go further. =p
I posted this on my FB account on 2nd Oct and thought I placed it here too..

@524am, 看着我的双胞胎和老大熟睡的样子,让我感到非常幸福!I'm so truly blessed to have them in my life. So tempted to wake them up! Haha.. Attempted to hold grace by her little fingers n when she snuggled, I was hoping tt she might lift up her eyes n catch a glimpse of me. *guilty*

Life is beautiful and God is good.

Happy 5 mths !

- Posted on 27th Sep 2012 -

Today the twins r 5 mths old! Yippee ! Another milestone reached! Another mth before they start on solids, another interesting phrase.
Today I bumped into an ex colleague who also has a pair of twins, but they are younger, only abt 2 mths old. Looking at how exhausted the daddy is, i have almost forgotten my 2 mths struggles n sleepless nights. My only encouragement to him was that all these will eventually come to pass. How true it is!
At 5 mths, they hv formed a routine. A typical day starts at 7am and usually zz by 730pm.. W Vera waking up occasionally at 2am for a tiny feed (2oz). Joy has also grown to be more matured and less jealous of the twins. It could also be because they r now more awake n more playful.
I still remember my plea to him abt hiring a helper to alleviate the household chores. He finally relented in aug. I remember how thrilled I was when he finally gave the green light. But as of now, I m less keen of the idea liaoz., though he feels tt it might still b a gd idea to get nevertheless. How fast things hv changed!
Looking at how fast my 3 princess grow, I sometimes hope that time will juz pause for a moment before they grow too fast n become independent, when one day their friends become their world...
Lastly I like to thank God for blessing me with a 101% hubby n 3 easy princesses .. Haha.. Although I do hv to agree tt Ms V is always testing our limits. But irregardless , thank God for his multiple blessings, and for guiding us in every steps!