Church camp 2017 part 2

I was so deeply touched by God's word during thr church camp and there's so many things I wanna share abt it that I decided to write part 2 to this.

Of the many sessions shared by the various pastors, there was one in particular that was close to my heart and I hope that by writing it down, I will be able to refer to it when needed.

Embolden & empower to make life changing decisions by Rev Ong Sek Leong

What is life?

• It is a series of decisions made along the way periodically.

3 kinds of people:

1. People who don't want to make decisions
2. People who make decisions @ their own pace
3. People would rise to make all the decisions in life bcoz they trust God

Sometimes we want a blueprint from God but God seldom gives us a blueprint.  God gives us a game plan. It is not God’s nature to give you all the details.
Blueprint : details of all situations
Game plan: general parameters

God is in the process of making us and developing us as a person instead of bringing us to the destination. God don't give us a GPS to bring us to the destination, but He gives us a compass. 

4 parameters 

1) HOW u live is more impt than WHERE U live

• Genesis 13: 12-13
• The condition is more impt than yr location 
• Lot chose to leave God and stay at Sodom (wicked place) and eventually his decision impacted him & his family in a worse manner 
• Implication of How you live is more impt than where you work at.

2) AFFIRMATION of your spouse is more impt than the OFFER of yr bosses

• 1 Peter 3: 4,5,7
• Condition of yr family is more important that yr work/bosses offer
• Affirmation = condition of the heart, decisions that's felt and not directed/imposed
• Consider the feelings of yr family first, before you make any work decisions
• God put yr family together
• Verse 7: prayers will not be hindered

3) OBEDIENCE is more impt than PASSION

• Acts 16:3
• Acts 16: 6-39
• Passion is fundamental. But in the pursuit of passion, there is something more important than God-given passion, which is God, himself
• That's why always stop and ask.
• " Am I doing the right thing and am I doing it right?"
• Obey God
• Reality we faced may not match our vision
• Paul had passion, but God asked him to stop. And he obeyed (twice)
• Obedience can be very tough, and sometimes contradicting
• Obey even if You seem to be going from a bad place to a worse place
• Eg. Paul ended up in prison, but it turned out to be worthwhile coz he managed to preach and saved others

4) RIGHT decisions is not always inspirational

• Hebrews 11:6
• Without faith, it is impossible to please God
• Optimism vs faith
• Faith is believing God is there. When someone has faith, he doesn't need to know his environment. He just need to know God is in there.
• Very often when you seek God's direction, optimism itself is not enough
• Enjoy the process of reaching, not just the destination

In summary, God may give us a holy ministry, but He knows that we may not be that holy. And we may make mistakes. We may even be lost halfway. 

Genesis 28: 16-22

16 When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he thought, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it.” 17 He was afraid and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven.”

18 Early the next morning Jacob took the stone he had placed under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on top of it. 19 He called that place Bethel,[a] though the city used to be called Luz.

20 Then Jacob made a vow, saying, “If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear 21 so that I return safely to my father’s household, then the Lord[b] will be my God 22 and[c] this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God’s house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth.”

Let God be the centre of yr life. Live by the 4 parameters of God. Thankful that I managed to be there to listen to the sharing. And hopefully, that even though I might not be able to bring my friends to church, I hope that I can bring the church to my friends. :)

Church camp 2017: Be embolden, be empowered

We juz came back about a week ago from Malaysia. Attended our church camp in K'L before heading down to melaka to spend some time with my family.

My thoughts about the camp

It was our 3rd camp as a family although the first since we joined this church. I remember we attended our first church camp in 2009, when joy was less than 2 yrs old. It also meant that she wasn't old enough to attend the kids ministry. Thus, for most of the sessions we had to bring her along. And most of the time, halfway thru, we would end up sitting at the sides on the floor, so that she could walk ard or play with other toddlers. And being first time parents, it was overwhelming, trying to contain her in the hall while paying attention to what the pastor was preaching. I was thankful that during that time, there were a few nice mummies who brought extra colouring materials so that joy could be entertained.

Fast forward 8 yrs, as I was seeing other mummies busy handling their infants/toddlers, it reminded me of that phrase of us. Looking back, I remember feeling incompetent as a parent. I wasn't confident of bringing her out by myself, until much later. I felt inadequate. There were many struggles, some forgotten, while some remained encrypted in my heart. Looking back, these memories have turned sweet with time. What seems like impossible then, has been overcome.

When we went for our 2nd camp, the twins were older and we also brought along our helper. Everything was easy easy. And maybe becoz of this, I have very little collection of it. Sometimes, it's the challenging moments that always remained encrypted in our hearts.

Besides the camp, we also took the girls to kidzania at kl which was having a super huge discounts.  For the 5 of us, it only cost about S$70! And the girls had a lot of fun there.

Each of them did about 5-6 occupations coz it was pretty crowded. I saw a few kids crying, coz they didn't want to play the occupation that their parents wanted them to. Sad. Told William that we will juz chill and let the kids decide what they wanna choose and it didn't matter even when the twins did twice of thr same occupation coz they simply loved it. Lol. It's their fun day, juz like them decide. And if they too tired, we can always juz chill at the Cafe and drink hot chocolate! Zen now..lol... 

Even when we ended the church camp and headed to melaka, it was most of the time a really chill relaxing nuan in the room kinda of thing.. most likely thr most nuan kind that we've done so far. There wasn't shopping or a food list to tick. Most of the time after bf, we will juz drop by my grandma place to chat with her before heading for lunch and back to the hotel. We did catch a couple of nice movies while in the room, afternoon swims and bath tubs ! 

That kinda wrapped up the whole trip. 

P/s: unlike the previous osaka trip, I did sleep very well during this trip. Probably bcoz I'm with the people that matter most. 

P/s: it's 530am now, I didn't manage to zz the whole night! Omg.. coz I'm supposed to go dating with uncle.choo today and maybe too excited, so can't zzz at all..omg! I hope I don't wake up at 2pm later ! Need wake the twins up for school soon!

Emo day..

Have you ever have friends who happened to be clients? Those that kinda "supported" you when you first started this biz, but after a while, you stopped reviewing them for work bcoz it was too tiring and frustrating to do so? The reasons could be many, but for me, it was becoz it was frustrating to always having to wait for > 45 mins for each appt, and/or having aeroplanes in the midst of it.. meaning for every 10 appts we scheduled, i probably only managed to meet them twice, and of the times when we finally met, it was always after waiting for > 45 mins. And in the end, I finally decided not to meet any of such appts in 2009/2010 coz I was battling depression due to infertility and the emotional rollercoasters (due to infertility/ aeroplanes) were extremely hard. I thought since I couldn't control the former, i should at least control the latter. I thought it was easier to meet strangers for they view you independently as an adviser, no strings attached. (the-dun-like-to-meet-strangers-story is for another day)

Anyway, I do have a handful of such people, and I stopped meeting them after a while. Not meeting for work first, and eventually when our paths no longer cross, we also seldom meet for catch ups.. and every once a while, when these people popped up in my mind, the feelings are mixed. I like to go back to them, be it as a friend, or be it bcoz of my work obligations. But I was afraid. Afraid of not knowing what to say/do, afraid that the same disappointments come back again.

But this 2017, I want to overcome this. And I'm meeting a friend/client this friday as a review. I searched thru the records, and the last time we did a review was in  2010! The last time we met as friends were in 2012! I felt bad as an adviser, having neglected my initial crop of sheep, especially since they were the ones who "supported" me before anyone endorse me for the work i do. And it's scary to think that we are meeting this fri. What should I say? work first or friend first?

Praying to God for His widsom and guidance on this situation. May He provide me with strength to carry on with this appt!

Trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.[a] Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. - Proverbs 3:5-8

Happy 11th wedding anniversary. 11.06.17

I woke up to this sweet msg, on our 11th wedding anniversary. He had brought the kids out early for church and I was home alone becoz I was down with a flu. I thought he had forgotten, coz when I sounded him out last night before i fell asleep, he didn't seem to be aware.

We didn't do an elaborate celebration this year, coz we juz came back from the m'sia trip and he's still trying to catch up on housework. :)

We had a simple dinner at Seletar Mall, at a chinese restaurant with the girls. In fact, the girls had thought we were having dinner at their fav. food court, when Mr choo told them that we are dining elsewhere tonight.

Everything seems perfect, until Vera accidentally knocked onto Grace. It was a light, accident bump, nothing too serious. But what followed was pretty bad. I told Vera to apologise to Grace, knowing well that it was an accident. She refused, clammed up again, refusing to talk nor apologise. This has happened so many times, and trust me, when I said battle, its really a battle. William and I were patient, and we tried to tell her nicely too.. but still she refused. even after we reach the restaurant. Yes, she is that stubborn. We told her that she would only get food if she apolgise. Instead, she chose to cry loudly, screaming loudly (yes, while in the restuarant). In fact, joy was displeased with both of us. That we had chosen to parent at that situation instead of bringing it home. She felt a lost of face, when the other tables were staring at us. I explained nicely to joy, that this is something that can't wait and this is something that keeps coming up every single time. So we have to correct it every single time. I was glad that william and I didn't lose our temple throughout the ordeal. When they say it takes a village to raise a child, I couldn't agree more.

Vera finally relented, probably after crying non stop for 45 mins. (I'm sorry to everyone at Paradise Inn that they had to hear a screaming 5 yr old for that long) Ya, we were almost finishing dinner and I was prepared to finish all the food and let her go hungry if the situation requires. Tough parenting, some might say. Yes, parenting has always been tough. And it's a lot tougher for this youngest child, for she is not of the ordinary.

Moments like that, I just pray that God provide the wisdom and grace to us, so that we be able to lead the girls to adulthood, the strength to do the out of the ordinary and whatever it takes, to mould them,  into righteous women, I pray that one day, they will also understand our intentions. That we didn't intend to be mean parents. It's easy to just give in, and ask the sisters to forgive and forget. But give in to her for a day, and she will ask for more another day.

That pretty much sums up my eventful wedding anniversary. A small victory. And many more battles to go. Thank God for all the mercies.

Contentment vs entitlement

Recently I've been reading a book called " Raising grateful kids in an entitled world" by Kristen Welsh. It was recommended by Angela, probably after seeing my entries about raising my kids despite the world temptations.

It was assuring to know that mr choo and i are on the right track, insisting on the things we want our kids to know and be thankful for.

One of the first few lessons the book talked abt was that entitlement first come from the house. When we parents / adults act like we are entitled to some things, the kids will register and follow and have certain expectations subsequently in their growing up yrs. One of the examples given was how a family travel and stayed in a nice hotel, and was very happy on the first day. However, on the 2nd day, when the housekeeping failed to clean the room within the stated time, the parents started to make a fuss etc. Sadly, this is an example that we are guilty of too.

That's why during the current trip to KL for our church camp, I kept reminding myself not to expect too much from the accommodations. Uncle choo had chosen to book a cheap service apartment (without consulting me) few mths ago. I checked out the reviews and most of the reviews are actually quite jialat. We had the option to cancel our reservation and pay $150, and book the expensive hotels or juz go ahead with it. In the end, we decided to go ahead with it. Finances are tight and the cheap accommodation was within our budget. I prayed before we reach the place, and also told the kids many times that it's a service apt, not hotel standard. When we finally got to our room, it was not done up  (partly bcoz we were early). Thick cigarette smell filled the rooms, which the housekeeper assured us that it will be removed during house cleaning. I was chilled about it. Coz even though the rooms were chui, at least I don't see cochroaches flying ard (as per reviews). Midway upon loading our luggages, the housekeeper told us that another room, which is better, is ready and would recommend we take that instead.

It felt like divine intervention  when we went up to the new room. It felt like an upgrade from "hotel 81" standard to penthouse standard, to which Mr choo and i are grateful for. After settling in, I told the girls that we wasn't sure if there would b housekeeping throughout the whole stay bcoz this ultimately isn't a hotel. Thus, it's impt that we try to keep thr place as livable as possible for the next 5 days. We took turns to clean up thr place after using, making sure we don't leave food crumbs around.

It's the change of mindset, which makes us ever grateful for what we have. We were grateful for the upgrade and becoz we didn't felt entitled to housekeeping, which eventually was provided, we were even more grateful for that. Even when the housekeeping was late on day 3, it was fine.  We took the chance to do more shopping and spend time with the kids. There wasn't a phone avail in the room, so we really don't know when or if someone would b coming to clean. But if we are contented with the small things in life, anything above and beyond is a bonus. And when the kids see the parents adopting a contented attitude, they will also start to appreciate the smaller things in life.

More thoughts abt the book in subsequent posts..

I love u more (everyday)

The man gave me this yday, after he came back from his daddy-daughter camp in sch. It was heartwarming to receive notes from him and his words touched my heart. I am indeed grateful, to have him as my hubby, my partner, my best friend, my soul mate. And I couldn't agree more, that I love him more than yday and the day before. I love him more everyday. 

I remember attending a colleague's wedding many yrs ago, and during the church wedding, the pastor asked the audience for a show of hands, who loved their spouse as much as they first gotten married. Almost everyone raised their hands, except us and a few others. We whispered to each other, " I love you more, with each passing day." Shortly after, the pastor explained to the crowd that we should love each other more, as time passes. I was grateful that mr choo and i are on the same page on this. It is a commitment, a responsibility and a pledge to remember to always hold the hand, and not be distracted with other milestones/goals/whatsnot in life.

It is easy to be distracted, be it the temptations of the world, work or even kids. Some of my friends are holding on to their marriage is solely becoz of kids. It's sad, coz I'm sure there was love at the start. But over time, distractions came and before u know it, the r/s is broken and the only string holding on is kids.

I believe that the first family unit belong to us first. It's always God and us and only when "us" is strong, then will we be able to hold tightly to kids. And then the bond to kids will b strong too.

Having said that, it doesn't mean that our marriage has always been a bed of roses. We've battled several issues along the way too, and not all issues have solutions. But with all issues, we placed our focus on God. For the bible says " Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."  1 Peter 5:7

I pray that for all friends, their marriages to always stay strong and for those of whom are going thru difficult times currently, that may they cast their worries upon Him and allow Him to work in yr marriages.

Lastly happy 11th wedding anniversary uncle choo ! I (still) do ! Love u lotsa..

BGR

Was having dinner with the girls and mr choo at the food court when I saw a pair of young lovebirds sitting juz next to us. They looked like they were in P6, or at most sec 1, v much in love. I signalled to Mr choo, and he had mistaken them as siblings.

It's only a matter of time when we too have to face this. It's inevitable. But I do hope that God will protect them from the temptations of the world, and to allow them enough them to mature and bloom, in His perfect timing.

This was also one of the reasons why I chose to put the girls at a girl's school - so that they wouldn't be tempted / influenced/ 太早熟。I hope that my girls always feel loved and cherished at home, so much so that they needn't need to find love outside.

Joy started to notice the table of love birds and sensing her uneasiness, I decided to broach the topic. I told her that it's our wishes that she doesn't start dating so early. What's impt is she concentrate on her studies now. All these could always wait til she's older. She nodded in agreement.

Not sure how much of it she agreed, but praying that this would b a later than sooner topic.