Emo-ing

 The last few days have been tough, especially when the appts have died down. 

I finally manage to start packing for the trip. And it is so tough. To pack and leave the family behind for a week. 

The crazy thoughts started on Friday - that mayb I should try to skip it entirely. Thinking of 101 ways to skip it legitimately. The thoughts probably got so loud that I ended up telling to a colleague in the lift! And he wasn’t even that close to me.. 

Why don’t I wanna go? 

1. Coz I feel that I haven’t spend enough time with the kids, be it the teenager; the psle twins or even the toddler. 
2. I haven’t work enough for this mth/quarter/season. Work has been crazy hectic but not all work translate to my personal sales directly. Work now has many meanings: personal sales, coaching, training, attending mgmt meetings etc and the list goes on. I checked my last two weeks schedule and everyday was filled with meetings.
3. I felt like I made the wrong choice to go. 
4. Packing is a chore. I always seem to bring the same few sets of clothes there. I’m afraid that people recognise that I’m always wearing the same clothes.. sad truth 

Before I go on and on abt it, I stumbled onto a post abt choices and how time is finite. And because of this, we shouldn’t waste time in doing things that we doing enjoy / being stuck in situations that we felt forced to. 

I probably felt compelled to go coz I had no choices. But is that really right? I think I can really get an MC if I want to and skip the whole thing. Just that mere thought kinda change my perspective 180 degrees. 

Perhaps I should think of why I wanna go? 

1. Jiamin will be there besides fun Angela! Hahahah.. and I wanna celebrate their success with them. And mine too! 
2. It will serve as a good break for me too. 
3. It will b good if I can speak to 2 other practitioners not in my company. My client, L, told me, to start small. Don’t make myself over stimulated. She taught me some tips and it will be nice to put them into practice. 

They say the truth will set us free. I do hope that I’ll be able to sleep well tonight, esp after I’ve aligned my thoughts. 

God, pls heal me completely. The lingering cough, esp during the nights are extremely tough. I’m starting to stress that it will affect JM sleep when we reach Mexico. God, guide me, in yr ways, show me the things that I can’t see. God, give me yr super powers so that i can reach out to people! In Jesus name I pray, amen!