Rant

“Can we work on the pretext that you will always fall sick and therefore it’s important to have emergency back up plans when any of us are sick?”

This was what I told uncle pig today. It’s been 3 crazy nights where Joash will cry and wake up middle of the night and continue to cry for 1-2hrs before I resort to car ride. He came back with angry butt rash on Tuesday which made things worse. And as if that wasn’t bad enough , boy is also on milk strike. And to top it all up, uncle pig had an eye op on wed. 

So yes, I’m overwhelmed and sleep deprived. I feel so incompetent whenever he’s down. And told him that if we are supposed to be covering each other’s flaws, he hasn’t been doing his job. Becoz I always have that nagging feeling that I’m incompetent whenever medical emergencies happen. It’s unfair to me. Even when I’m overwhelmed or stressed at work, I stick to the plan of covering that part and never once made him worry. But he on the other hand, always try to do everything as though he is superman and never delegate out. 

Yes the right word is DELEGATE. Even when I told him that next week I might have 1-2 days where I can’t pick the twins from sch, and will most likely train the helper to do it, he insist that he will do it ! Why? Why can’t we let the helper pick the kids up on emergency days? Why can’t we let her do grocery runs ? Why is it when u are alrdy sleeping less than 4 hrs, u still insist on going to the market after u drop Joash? 

1 day of missed sweeping / mopping / laundry isn’t going to affect much at home. But 1 day of him out of action will drive everyone crazy. I need someone to take care of my kids in the morning if I happen to do the motn shift. Someone to help me do some small grocery run so that we can sleep in bcoz of our motn duties. You are not superman and you will fall sick. Can we just plan on the basis that if you will b sick LONG TERM, then what will happen? Am I supposed to stop work completely to care for the kids? Or are we going to only start training the helper when that happens? 

That was my conversation with him and hr ago. It felt so good to let it all out. It’s like phlegm stuck on my throat making me breathless. 

He agrees with my points and we have agreed on the following. (Coz I need to write notes to remind myself) 

In 1 mth time, the helper will be able to:

1) Pick the twins / Joash from sch. (Not that we will be using this regularly but it’s for emergency days) 

2) ad hoc grocery run like getting milk / bread etc 

3) be able to cook 1 meal on her own independently and if there isn’t any food in the fridge, she can do 2)

4) also train twins to come back from sch on their own.

In the mid term. The goal is still to let the helper make Joash zzz be it for nap or night time. 

Feeling so much better after having the honest conversation. We are together in this partnership long term. We need to cover each other’s ass.