Venting

This is a venting post so be prepared.

Me: "So, can u tell me why u are standing for (committee) again?"

《Silence》

I know he's pissed/frustrated at me for asking. But I'm disappointed that he has chosen to stand for it again. AGM is Tom. 6mths ago, he was the one who was saying that after the 1yr, he would step down and bow out of it. Then few mths later, his stance change to "if he could, he would step down.." then to this couple of weeks " I would stand for another yr, just so that the impt/major things are ironed out...."

And all these were made without consulting me or the kids. Joy is clearly unhappy. She complained to me yday night. The girls were alone at home (again) bcoz his committee had a last min meeting and I happened to have a review appt which had over run. By the time I reach home, it was 9pm. I hugged the twins and chatted with them for half hr before letting them go to bed. Then chatted with the teenager til 10. It's a mum's guilt I guess. When I need to work and my kids are home alone. I hate it. Thus, I let them have a late bedtime yday.

I hated it that the family is compromised becoz of his CCAs. As much as I try to be the supportive wife, I cant. As much as I try, I cant. Especially when I just realize that this is going to go on for another yr. He says that he hopes I can see it from his perspective. But no, I cant. I tried. It's not like I never try. For the last few mths, as long as enough notice was given and he had to attend, I would block out the date and bring the girls out , with a peaceful heart.

Many thoughts went thru my mind before I blurted out that qn. It's a spiteful qn and I know it will pissed him off. But trust me, that was the most well packaged way I could think of, with a tinge of spitefulness. There were many other ways that were going thru my mind... like " I will quit my job tomorrow to be a homemaker. U can take on  whatever portfolio u want. I will take care of the kids." or "Pass me back the proxy form. I've decided to attend the meeting."

But I zipped my mouth n stopped those statements from coming out. (Trust me, I'm still tempted) There is no point in saying something to score that momentous goal but long term hurt. I know. Just venting.

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 16:18 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/pro.16.18.NIV

Update: I just wanna do a quick update since the AGM passed last weekend. He stepped down quietly during the meeting. I didnt think he would do it but I'm happy and thankful. Joy was delighted when she heard the news yday. I know he felt that he let his teammates downs by pulling out at the 11th hr. I told him that he can still be a helpful neighbour even if he wasnt part of the committee.  Anyway I'm glad that we didnt tear each other apart to have to reach to this. In fact, his teammates organized a farewell dinner for him last night. He brought the twins along while I spend some time alone with joy, my firstborn. I do enjoy "satellite parenting" where I can concentrate fully on each child. Happy week everyone!