Really wanted to report sick and cancel the trip. But William nudged me not to; so did Angela. 

I’m so thankful for the many angels around me; people who know me so well, people who will guard and protect me. It’s as if they know my emo is acting up again, and thus they send well meaning messages, just to check on things.

I wrote a post about Joleen today and text her to thank her for being her in my life. I think I gave her a shock more than a surprise. She asked if everything’s Okie etc. it send a chuckle into my heart and how fortunate I am, to have the love showered upon me by so many people. 

I’m still the emo me. But the me now wants to use whatever I can, to inspire and touch the lives of the people around me, to impact their lives and create a more meaningful purpose. 

所以我还是去了。

What a month!

INTENSE is the word for my last four weeks.

I’m so thankful that I’m in a better place now. 

A client was upset with me (still is), and I’ve let go of it. 我没有错。我也解释了。It’s a long relationship, and he’s been with me for many years. So I’m sad about how things have turned out, but I’ve come to peace with how it is.

Ever since I did the Gallup strengths assessment, I’ve been more aware of my values and strengths; and how it torment me when certain values aren’t aligned with my core beliefs. 

The previous me will just 转牛角尖 & 想不通。

But now I could identify what’s the conflict etc, and why it’s tormenting me, and what are the things I can/cannot control. 

Another thing happened at work, but that has been resolved too. (Finally)

But that did cause a lot more tension in my little world, as I battled my own big emotions.. hahahaha.. 

I guess this is growth. This is the part of me that is still learning. 

I wanted to tender, cause I felt that the values weren’t aligned. 

I’ve always been someone who voices out as long as I don’t agree with things. And I did. Not because the event happened in my garden. It didn’t concern me directly or indirectly. But I still did it anyway. Cause CONSISTENCY is one of my top 5 strengths.. lol.. and I’m the kind if it’s not consistent, then sorry I can’t work with you anymore. 

I can’t. I just can’t. And that tormented me for days. Cause I didn’t have a plan B. 

Am I really going to sell my house and change our living standards just coz I can’t close two eyes? 

The torment and conflict 🤣🤣🤣

William says the family is willing to, cause there is no purpose in anything if I’m not happy. But even if we do that, what am I going to do in life? What skills do I have out of this?

Did a lot of soul searching and deep thinking during the last few weeks.

I had a huge ironing session - to clarify many things.   

Glad that I had a good talk with him. It repaired our relationship and also clarified many misunderstandings. All the “he say I say things”, and how we all have the same values of wanting to make the company a better place, but because of our roles, our priorities can be different. 

William and Leonard says I’ll drown in corporate life. 

I think I already did. 

This is me attending an event last week with new friends met this year. 

Happy and thankful that I stepped out of my tiny bubble, and didn’t let fear stop me from enjoying the learning. Thankful for the new friendship forged too.