I'm pregnant.
4.5weeks to be exact. Did I expect it? No, of coz not. Especially after being infertile for ~10yrs, I certainly didn't see it coming. But the signs were there. The short burst of temper when the girls misbehave; me nitpicking on william or me irritated with my clients endless qn - I thought it was signs of PMS. I told the BFFs and we all concluded that my period must b coming. I waited and still it didn't come.
I told my mama and she laughed at me. Coz it was only 4weeks since my last period, though I told her that I'm now on a 3 weeks cycle. She says it could b early menopause and the system decided to go on leave..🤣
Nevertheless I decided to get the kit coz i have a drinking session the next day and I just wanted to drink safely.
And there, my world paused. To be honest, the first thoughts were confusion and fear. I would b 40 next yr and william 50. I'm going to b a 高龄产妇. Yes there were days when I wanted a 4th child, but there were MORE days when we concluded that baby rearing days are over.
The initial fears 😨 include:
- how would the girls react? Joy and Grace had explicitly rejected that idea several times
- is baby going to be healthy? If not, would we be prepared to continue?
- how is the pregnancy going to b like? How do i cope with working and the tiredness
- with the new addition, it also means changing house and car; and probably needing to buy so many baby things again.
- we probably be the oldest parents at the PTC or school meetings.
- would i go back to the heavyweight i was ?😱
- why isn't william showing me any response. He was literally quiet and sorry after I broke the news to him.
That was also when I cried buckets and buckets. I felt that no one loved me or my 小豆豆。J and JM comforted me and assured me. We all concluded that my emo came back in over drive mode..lol..
What a night.
The next day, I cancelled my cupping sessions. Yes I had just kickstarted back again due to the lack of exercise working from home..
I thought i would b able to complete all my sessions finally and b in the 60s ! 😂
I guess God has other plans. N no matter what happens, He would stay on course with me and guide me at each baby step.
I called my gynae and the nurse says that his usual practice is to arrange a blood test first and start on Duphaston. This is unusual for me bcoz I just wanted to see the baby! Like now..lol..went for the blood test that afternoon and my gynae called back on Saturday.
The HCL levels were good, it corresponds with the number of weeks I'm pregnant. (4.5weeks) Bcoz its so early in the pregnancy, he suggest an appt 3 weeks later. And in the mean time, I shall continue with the D tablets and get some folic acid.
Will take this one step at a time. Will treasure the days when 小豆豆 is still with me and we will overcome each obstacle as they come.. i know some people would find it patang to say it so early. But I know God will b with us in each and every step and may this b a diary for us to look back next time.
His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
2 Peter 1:3 NIV
https://2peter.bible/2-peter-1-3
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