Friday, July 8, 2011

Reasons

I had wanted to do this entry a while le, but didnt have time to start penning it down. I thought it would be good to list down the reasons why I so desperately want another child; especially despite the fact that I already had Joy.

All along, I resisted adoption or even IVF coz I thought since I had joy le, it didnt seem a strong urge to require desperate measure ya? You know, maybe we really should have 顺其自然? Untill just last week, when I was at Joy's PD Clinic, I bumped into this lady who was trying to have a casual conversation with me. She asked me if I only has 1, which I nodded. Then her almost immediate reply was, once her first child was 18mths, she went back to production mode, so that her #2 can serve as companion to #1. I think the reason why I didnt wanna do adoption or IVF, was becoz I feel that if the sole reason for having a #2, is so tat he/she can b company to #1, then it didnt seem to b a good enough reason? Or am I right? Then I started to re-ponder my thoughts.. as in back to the days before i was pregnant.. and back then, my thoughts were the same... either have 2 and more, or not have any, coz a single child might be too lonely... and when we are gone next time, the child will be all alone in this world...

then it all seem legitimate.. it's not that I'm not gonna love my #2 and more..it's just that it's always been our plans to have many...

anyway, my reasons for trying IVF are as follows:

1) Joy wants a sibling
2) William wants more children
3) I love 1) & 2) so much that I'm willing to do it for them
4) Should one day when wiliam and I are not ard, Joy will not be too lonely.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy 30th birthday!

Had lunchie w uncle pig n joy at beanstro at MBS.. He had wanted to do the pizza place we did for our wedding anniversary but I wanted something different..so we decided on Beanstro - a F&B by Coffee Bean ... food was okie, nice n much cheaper than the pizza place.. Haha.. N it was really quite nice.. Anyway both joy n I were more interested in the cake after the meal.. Haha..

It's a big strawberry tart! I had mentioned it a long time ago when hubz was still at his baking sch tat I hope one day my bday cake would b juz a big strawberry tart! He remembered! As I made my bday wish n blew out the candle, tears simply trickled down my cheek.. Tears of joy la.. Tt happiness could b so simple.. N I couldnt stop.. Kinda embarrassing thou.. But looking at these two impt pple in my life, I was happy, at peace n satisfied.. I was thankful tat God had given them to me.. How undeserving of me to have these two pple loving me n showering me with unconditional love.. N as these thoughts flashed thru my mind, my tears gushed like no tomorrow.. It was amazing how a simple birthday celebration within the 3 of us, could be so happy, so filled with emotions. I had always thought that entering the big 3, I would want a big PARTY to celebrate... but I guess God and Uncle Pig had other plans... it was a simple birthday celebration, yet a happy one... =)
Lord I thank you for everything tat has happened.. N I really should count my blessings! To have a wonderful hubz, and an independent 4yr old who at her age seems to be taking care more of me than the other way round.. Lord, I also thank you for putting us thru infertility , I thank you for trusting in us tat we'll b able to handle it bcoz I know tat all tasks given by You are definitely manageable for us..
As my bday draws to a close, another impt chapter will await us.. Lord, I pray for Yr protection and guidance in this journey, tat U give us strength to continue this journey, tat thru this, our faith may b strengthen as well as thru this, may we be Yr mouthpieces to spread your goodness..