Been feeling super annoyed and depressed and emo coz the MIL is here. Somehow every time she’s here, my hormones go haywire. I need to have control of my own emotions instead of bursting for legit or stupid reasons.
A part of me know that whatever she does or believes in, I shouldn’t let her affect me. That’s why I should control my own feelings. But I’m not God. I have a lot of flaws, especially when it comes to managing that side of the family.
I just can’t forget how biased she is, against the father of my kids and against my kids too. How she used to call my kids “ 哭包” or other names, despite us reminding her that they actually have real names. It frustrates me too, when I see how she dote on Joash now - a classic example of how 重男轻女 the people of her generation is. I’m just thankful she isn’t the primary caregiver or stays with us long term, otherwise it would be so hard to insist on our parenting decisions.
She will be here with us for at least 2 weeks. Coz She needs to go for an eye op and it’s better than she stays with us for this period so that someone could attend to her needs. It frustrates me too, when the other son seems non committal on the whole entire incident! So much for doting on the other son. 😖
Omg 😳.. I know all these feelings I have bottled up, isn’t healthy for my own well being. I know. And I’m not helping William in any way, if I continue to be bitter and angst over it. But It’s so hard.
My only solution is to pen this so that I reorganise my thoughts before I go home tonight.
Praying that God carry me in this journey. I honestly don’t feel like going for the gathering tomorrow coz I have no wavelength to make small talk or b understanding. I’m tired. I just wan my personal space back.
“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”
Psalms 42:11 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/psa.42.11.NIV
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