Tapping Out

That was what I wanted to do last night- to tap out, tap out of life, tap out of work, tap out of friends etc. I went into a dark hole. And I was afraid, afraid that I might never walk out of it. My old friend has chosen to come visit when I’m most vulnerable and I could even see it in my eyes. How it’s controlling my mind and allowing it to eat me alive. I even started to think of the different permutations.

It comes and goes. There are days when I feel at peace and in control, but there were also nights when my emotions just overwhelmed me. 

I decided to do something that isn’t typical of me. Which was to go for a company lunch even though know I might end up sitting with unfamiliar faces. Even though it’s tiring to strike up conversations. 

But I went anyways. 

Coz I know I need to put a stop to all these. I need to walk out of my black hole. I need to make new friends. I need rely on the support of my old friends. They are there, there for me. And I know I can reach out and grab their hands if I allow myself to. 

I’m glad I did. Angela came along when she knew that I was coming. So thankful for that. 

We all have our different battles in life. Our challenges. And we can overcome it all, with the support of our loved ones.