Flashbacks

Woke up at 3am to attend to Joash and even though he slept shortly after his milk, I ended up being wide awake til 5am! So dead.. 

Kept thinking abt the training I did in the morning and how I could have done this or that to make it better etc. I was all over the place and even though I wanna say / motivate the guys so much, I’m not sure if they ended up feeling that.. 🫠🫠 

And then the anxiety crept in, coz I have another sharing in the morning. I had think that the second one would be a lot easier, coz there were qns and I just need to answer them. But at this moment in time, I’m not sure if I could even do this confidently or inspiring. And if I screw up again, then how will I handle the mega company one next yr. 

I have an hr to sort myself out. Moments like this remind me of my anxious times before my client facing appointments. Right now, this definitely seems harder. But what do I have to lose or gain? That’s the annoying part hor.. what am I afraid of? At least for my clients appts, my pockets are directly connected with my “performance”. But as for my sharing, it’s not like I’ll get extra $$ if they work more or I get a lecture if the sharing is sub par. So what am I afraid of??! 不知道咯.. aiyo 

Praying that God provide the wisdom and words for me to go thru this morning. God, I pray that you help me get my act together. Change is uncomfortable. This is difficult for me. I feel like a fish out of the waters. And I pray that You give me the leap of faith to believe that all these are in Your plans, in Jesus name, Amen!