Mid life crisis

Recently got this online when I was in Iceland. Somehow the words just “captured” me asking me that it wanna go home with me. Trust wholeheartedly - probably the most apt message that I need to hear now. I love God and I trust that I’m in good hands. But recently, I’ve started to think if the current job is what I would wanna do for the next 20yrs. 

I’ve given it 20yrs. And 20yrs isn’t a short time. I’ve had my struggles in this span of time, learnt a lot, and grown a lot. And it has been a very fulfilling journey. But it has also reached a stage where I’m no longer sure if it still gives me the same excitement or if I’m even growing, compared to when I first started. I’m comfortable, work isn’t hectic but it isn’t exciting. I’m not sure why it’s starting to sound like a courtship. Hahaha.. wanted to speak to my mgmr abt it but we ended up quarreling coz he/I thought I/he said this blah blah blah and eventually 两败俱伤😝😝  

Which brings me to the next point? What do I want out of my work? Is it just to pay bills? Or am I expecting more? And I don’t want a situation where I’m trying to do something just becoz everything’s comfortable. You know.. like just because there isn’t difficulties means I should go do something completely different and drown in it. 

My job should be able to accomplish the following:

1) pay bills 

2) I would b fulfilled becoz I know I’ve helped someone today.

3) breakthrough?

4) challenged to try something different and master it 

What can I do?

- this is a tough qn tbh. Coz not every job will be able to fulfil 1) and 2). My heart can be full being a social worker or counsellor but it can’t help support my household expenses. And no one wanna hire me with no relevant experience too. Adulting is tough.. I wished I could use the same advise I tell some of my clients “Go chase yr dreams bcoz I’ve got u covered (financially)”. And the opportunity cost and inertia is huge too! 

I look at some of my clients my age; they are just working. Work is just something to pay bills and give them the means to do something they enjoy like traveling or shopping. Am I simply thinking and expecting too much?