Nightmare

As of yesterday, only joy and our helper remains Covid negative. The good news is Grace art kit turned negative yday too! Amen! 

And she requested to go for English tuition since she is officially free to roam; which I gladly agreed. 

But comes the next problem. Grace can go to sch on Friday but there isn’t anyone who could bring her. I asked if I could get a cab for her, but she says she can take public on her own. Gave her the instructions and we can only pray that she will figure things out on her own. Had an argument w William over this too. If he had started training the helper &/ kids on how to go and come back from sch earlier (the deadline was by end jul) then we wouldn’t be having this conversation at all. I was pissed and frustrated and everything just snowballed and my final words were “I hope if you die, we all die together”. 

Such mean and hurtful words. Yes I realise too. I guess fears crept in and took over. Then dreadful thoughts conquered my mind; like what if he really passes then what happens; especially since Joash is still so young etc. wah, once u let fears enter, they conquer and control. And i feel so horrible. 

I open my bible and this was what I saw. It’s assuring. And rather than let fears take over, I’ve decided to let God take control. Whatever. Surrender to Him and let Him be the captain of my ship.

Have kissed and make up with William too. Being old isn’t something he can control. We will just treasure every living day as a gift, that’s why it’s called present.

On a side note, this morning Joy brought her to the train station but they are headed for different directions. Grace is currently on the bus to school. It’s nice to have the girls step up and take on bigger roles I guess. Maybe training the helper to pick the girls isn’t impt anymore.

Today we will only have the 2 young kids home the entire day. (Coz grace will be having lunch in school before heading to nex for her Chinese tuition.) It’s also the first day where I don’t have any scheduled zoom appts. Hoping that I can spend more time with vera and see if she gets better. She has been having so many episodes these few days (before positive and even after) that I suddenly don’t know what’s wrong w her or me. I thought we were on a two steps forward but it seems like a three step backwards now again. Well, I guess we will just have to see, monitor and adapt.